There it was.
“The first half was good.” When he’d been alone to sit at the cemetery to talk to Nicole.
“And the second half?” Hunt washed his hands at the sink, then ran a hand through his hair at the same time Mav ran fingers through his own. Sometimes, looking at his younger brother really was like looking in a mirror.
“Nicole’s mom and dad arrived, and that was hard.” To see them. To talk to them. Nicole was their only child, and when Maverick had chosen to return to the ranch rather than stay in the city, they’d been hurt. They’d loved him like a son, but he couldn’t take the place of who they’d lost. It was too much pressure, no matter how much he cared for them in return.
“Sorry,” Hunt quietly said.
“I am, too. They’re still grieving. With the love I feel for Jenna, I can’t imagine losing a child. How do parents go on after that?”
“You just do. Sad things happen every day. To good people. It eventually gets easier, right?” Hunter looked meaningfully at him. You’ve been dealing with this, too.
For the first time since Nicole’s death, Maverick felt confident saying, “Yeah, it does.”
In the back of his mind, he’d always known today would be a major turning point, his upcoming trip the last promise. Suddenly his gaze caught on the letters he’d written to Nicole, stacked neatly on the corner of the counter. He reached over to pick up the top one, unfamiliar writing scrawled on a blank page.
Dear Maverick,
No worries. You never have to see me again.
Respectfully,
Kennedy
He turned the paper over to see the last letter he’d written to Nicole, on the night of Kennedy’s arrival. Flipped it back to see the note from Kennedy. His throat tightened. She’d read the letter. She’d been here sometime today.
“Dude, you look like you’re gonna hurl,” Hunter said.
“Did you see this?” He waved the piece of paper in the air, a heated mix of anger and despair crawling up the back of his neck. He was upset she’d seen the letters, but it bothered him even more that she’d basically said goodbye in a terse note.
“No. I know not to go through your stuff.”
Hunter didn’t know about the letters—no one did. But he slid the paper over to his brother now.
“Why would she write this?” Hunt asked after scanning it.
“Read the other side.”
Maverick fisted his hands while his brother read the letter. Why was she so upset about what he’d written? He’d admitted she’d played a part in his life even after college. Flattery like that usually pleased a person. The stuff about him not wanting her here? That had been at first sight. At the first uncomfortable stirring inside his chest. At her being on the ranch uninvited and crashing a wedding.
“You’ve been writing to Nicole?” Hunter smoothed out the piece of paper atop the counter. Maverick nodded. “It’s helped you?” Mav nodded again. “That’s good.” He looked over Maverick’s shoulder, out the kitchen window. “As far as Kennedy’s note goes…”
Maverick turned, hoping he’d find her walking down the road toward him, eager to explain herself. A note wasn’t exactly her style. Not when she had such a powerful voice.
There was no one there.
“I think she was having a bad day,” Hunter said, drawing Maverick’s attention back to him.
“That doesn’t explain her rude goodbye. ‘No worries’? Like we meant nothing to each other?” The more he thought about it, the more this felt like she was on her high horse again, having the last word and treating him like this past week hadn’t mattered. “After today, we weren’t sure we were going to see each other again anyway.”
“It’s human nature to focus on the negative rather than the positive. You ended the note wanting her gone, and that’s what she took away.”
“At the time, it was the truth.” He wasn’t going to feel bad for what he’d written. If anyone had asked Kennedy if she wanted Maverick gone that day, she would have shouted “yes,” too.
“Women don’t always like the exact truth.”
“Says the expert on women.”
“Dude, I’ve been with more women than you, so yes, I believe that qualifies me as the more skillful between us.”
“Quality over quantity, little brother.”
Hunter smirked. “You’re looking at a man who’s experienced both.”
There was no winning this discussion. “Whatever. She’s leaving tomorrow and I’m fine with it.”
“You don’t want to know why she was having a bad day?”
“Don’t care.” Not only had she left him a crappy note, she’d snooped in his kitchen first. You know she didn’t do it with malicious intent.
“Would you care if I told you she already left the ranch?”
He crossed his arms. “What are you talking about?” Okay, so he could pretend he didn’t care, but that would be a lie. “She’s not here?”
“No.”
His stomach clenched. “Is she okay?” Please let her be okay.
“I don’t know. All I know is she flew home because a friend of hers was in the hospital. Andrew drove her to the airport, then came back to check out and drive to L.A. He told Cole and Bethany what had happened. Kennedy didn’t say goodbye to anyone.”
Maverick squeezed the back of his neck. She had left in a hurry without a goodbye to anyone…but him. She’d come looking for him. His mind spun with what she’d wanted to tell him when she walked through his front door before finding him gone.
He hadn’t said goodbye because he thought they had tonight.
“I should call her,” he said. Bethany had given him her phone number the other morning.
“You think? She was having a crappy day and then read your letter, so that probably explains her snappy attitude toward you.”
He pulled his cell out of his pocket. Phone to his ear, his shoulders sagged when she didn’t answer. “Voicemail,” he said to Hunter.
Hunt made a circling motion with his hand, indicating leave a message.
The moment he heard the beep, he hung up.
“What was that?” his brother asked.
“I need to think about what to say.” He leaned his elbows on the countertop. “If anything.” Wanderlust and his promise to Nicole had him catching a plane to another country. Countries. For a significant length of time. Maybe it was best to let it be?