Which I’m not.
I think I’m particularly flustered because Fugitive Summer’s hit song is pure sex in aural form. That’s not merely due to Savage’s raunchy lyrics and sexualized vocals, as a casual fan of music might assume. Nope, as a drummer myself, I know a song can’t be that sexual without having a nasty beat that hits people squarely between their legs. And I also know, as a drummer myself, that a guy can’t bang out that dirty a beat, unless he’s got some damned good rhythm behind closed doors, too.
Fuck!
As promised, Amy entered the party on my arm and let me introduce her to our hosts as my date. She flirted with me a bit whenever Savage and Laila were nearby, all in the name of fulfilling her promise to me. The nano-second the party filled up and got crowded and crazy, and people started mixing and matching and dancing to the blaring playlist, Amy ditched my ass on a bullet train and went off with Violet, not me, to make the rounds.
For the first hour, I managed to remain pretty chill watching Violet introducing Amy around. But when Violet introduced Amy to our good friend, popstar Aloha Carmichael, who then escorted both women over to Kendrick Cook, who’d prior to then been chatting in a corner with his brother, Kai, almost all semblance of chill left my body. Still, even then, I was able to cling to a shred of my chill.
But no more. Not since Violet, Aloha, and Kai drifted away, leaving Kendrick and Amy chatting alone, their faces mere inches apart, their demeanors flirtatious. Yeah, that’s when I flipped my motherfucking lid. Inwardly, anyway. I haven’t left my spot or moved a muscle, other than breathing, clenching my teeth, and sipping my drink, for the past twenty minutes. But inside, I feel like a volcano on the bitter cusp of eruption.
Kendrick seems so nice in all his interviews, Amy said.
What interviews?
My chest heaving, I yank out my phone and tap Kendrick’s name into my browser, eager to see why and how Kendrick comes off as so fucking “nice” in “all” his interviews. Unfortunately, the music is too loud to watch any of the video links that pop up, so I click on the first written interview—one of Kendrick and his big brother, Kai, the bass player of Fugitive Summer. A brief skim of the piece quickly reveals why Amy made her comment about Kendrick. He comes across as a truly awesome guy. Self-deprecating, charming, and funny. Asshole.
I click on the next interview, another one with Kendrick and his brother, Kai, and midway down the piece, my jaw nearly clanks onto the floor:
Interviewer: What about you, Kendrick? Who’s your celebrity crush?
Kendrick: Hmm. I guess maybe Amy Adams.
Kai: What do you mean you ‘guess’? After you saw her in Enchanted as a kid, you wanted to grow up and marry her. Enchanted was your first foray into porn, dude.
Kendrick: He’s not wrong. The only reason I hesitated is I couldn’t decide between Amy Adams and Emma Stone. When I saw Emma in Superbad, it was love—lust—at first sight.
Interviewer: Ah, you’ve got a thing for redheads.
Kendrick: Guilty as charged. But not just any redhead. The most irresistible combination to me is red hair, light eyes, a killer smile, and a goofy personality. If ever I find all that in one person, I’ll be putty in her hands.
Kai: Dude, don’t lie.
Kendrick: I didn’t.
Kai: You conveniently left big boobs off the list to make yourself seem more noble than you are. Don’t let my little brother fool you into thinking he doesn’t notice that kind of thing. Kendrick Cook’s a boob man, through and through.
Kendrick: Again, he’s not wrong.
Interviewer: What about you, Kai?
Kai: Me? I’m an ass man.
Interviewer: No, who’s your celebrity crush?
Kendrick: To be clear, if a woman’s got all that other stuff I mentioned, nice boobs are only icing on the cake. I don’t want to come off like a total asshole here.
Kai: Too late. Your secret’s out. You’re secretly a dick.
I look up from my phone, feeling like every molecule in my body is going to physically explode. Amy dyed her hair specifically to attract the attention of Kendrick fucking Cook tonight! The realization makes me want to bolt over there and beat the shit out of Kendrick, even though my rational brain knows he’s done nothing wrong. Amy’s the one who turned herself into his ideal woman. What the fuck?
I take a deep breath and tell myself to calm down.
But I’m not calming down. Not at all. In fact, I’m now moving toward Amy, planning to yank her away from Kendrick and call her out on her bullshit . . . and then drag her into a room and fuck the living hell out of her.
No.
Stop, Colin.
Somehow, I force myself to stop walking.
She’s Logan’s little sister, asshole. She’s off-limits. And Kendrick is a great guy. What are you doing, dumbass?
Yeah . . . No.
My internal dialog has done nothing to cool my jets.
Off I go, once again.
Trembling with adrenaline, I reach Kendrick and Amy across the party. At which point, Amy greets me pleasantly, as does Kendrick. Hmm. I don’t know what I was planning to say when I got here, but whatever it was, their pleasant greetings of me have made me feel like flying into a maniacal rage, out of nowhere, wouldn’t be a good look for me.
“Excuse me, guys,” Amy says brightly, before I’ve figured out what to say. “I need to pee!”
“I’ll wait for you right here,” Kendrick replies.
“You’d better!” Amy turns and skips away, but not before flashing me a truly murderous look.
“She’s so cool,” Kendrick says, watching Amy disappear into the crowded party.
“Mm-hmm.”
“I like how sweet she is,” Kendrick continues. “While still being direct and no-nonsense. It’s such an attractive combination.”
My breathing turns instantly ragged. “Amy’s direct and no-nonsense about what, exactly?”
Kendrick pauses, apparently surprised by my question. He twists his mouth, obviously choosing his words carefully. “Just, you know. She was straightforward about what she’s looking for, which I found refreshing.”
The thumping of my heart is gaining speed. My breathing is shallow. “Amy was ‘straightforward’ about what, exactly?” I’m shouting now.
Kendrick cocks his head. “You’re not with her, are you? Amy said she grew up next-door to you and that you two are like siblings.”
I can barely breathe. But I manage to say, “That’s right.”
Kendrick exhales and takes a sip of his beer. “Amy told me why it looked like she was your date tonight when you first got here. That was cool of her to do that for you, huh?”
“Mm-hmm.”
Kendrick chuckles. “Savage is such a nut job sometimes. But, trust me, you don’t need to worry about him being pissed at you. He knows he overreacted the other day. He wasn’t even pissed at you, I don’t think. He was going through some stuff and took it out on you.”
“It’s all good.”
“So, hey, I saw the news about the movie. Congrats, man!”
“Thanks.”
“When does filming begin?”
“What, precisely, did Amy say to you that was so ‘direct’ and ‘straightforward’ and ‘refreshing’?”