Reid really has a lot to fucking answer for.
My fingers tighten around the leather steering wheel as I grit my teeth. The frost has finally gone down, and I can leave, but I can’t do it.
I can’t put the car into gear and drive away.
Even as I place my hand on the parking brake and grip it, I can’t release it.
Because Lily’s inside, only a few metres away from the car.
Leaving her feels like a betrayal. I could see her worry and concern for Reid when I explained the situation. I could hear her words came from honesty because she has the purest of hearts. She cares about my family. My brother. And she meant it when she told me to go.
Then why do I feel like this?
It still feels like a betrayal. A betrayal because I know how much this day means to her, and I’ve left anyway.
I’m being pulled from two directions, and yet my heart, and head, are telling me to stay with her, to tease her about the magic of Christmas and how it’s a farce just so she can keep trying to prove me wrong. ‘Cause I’ll do anything to see that light in her eyes while she does.
The only thing magical about Christmas is her, and one day, she’ll open her eyes, look in a mirror and see that for herself.
“Fucking hell, Reid,” I growl to the empty car.
I can’t leave her. I can’t do it.
I switch off the engine just as my phone rings again. I sigh, answering it. “Yeah?”
“Bro, I’ve managed to Facetime him. He really does look like shit. And sounds it. He’s pale and sweaty and vomited whilst on the phone. Mum’s threatening to drive out there, she’s that worried, and two minutes before she was planning his murder.”
She can’t drive out in this. It’s too dangerous.
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Tell her to sit tight. I’m on my way to pick you up and then we can go get him. Hopefully we can get him in to see a doctor.”
“See you in a few.”
I end the call, throwing the phone on the passenger seat. “Fuck!”
I rest my head back, closing my eyes. “Lily, please forgive me.”
Sitting up, I turn the key, switching the engine on, and with careful ease, pull out of the space and onto the slick roads, praying like hell I make it there in one piece.
*** *** ***
Jesus fucking Christ.
The snow has gotten worse, and although we are less than five minutes from Reid’s location, it’s becoming a concern.
“Trust fucking Reid to pick the one year it snows to get sick and hungover,” Wyatt mutters, peering through the windshield.
I need to get back to Lily. I can’t think of anything else right now.
“Wyatt, are you sure you are going to be okay driving the van back in this or do you want me to take it back and you two take the car?”
He waves me off. “Nah, I’ll be fine. I’ve drove in the snow in it before. Not like this. But at least there aren’t many cars about.”
“It’s a fucking shit storm out here.”
“Let’s sort out Reid so you can get back to Lily. I know it’s bothering you.”
“I feel like shit that I’ve had to leave her there. She’s been talking about this day for weeks, and I feel like I’ve let her down.”
“Well, when we get back into town, I’ll sort Reid out, and you head back to Lily.”
“Are you sure?”
He nods. “Yeah.”
“Thanks, bro.”
“Any time.”
“You probably won’t be saying that if Reid is as sick as he says he is.”
He grunts. “Yeah, he’s already fucked up my day with Evelyn.”
“She doing okay?”
“Yeah, she’s getting there. It’s hard for her. It’s her first Christmas without her mum. I took her to the grave this morning.”
“I remember the first Christmas without Dad. Mum was a mess. I don’t think we got Christmas dinner that day.”
“No, we didn’t,” he mutters before clearing his throat. “Mum’s looking after her. And hopefully, we won’t be much longer.”
“There he is,” I mutter, indicating to the left as I slowly pull over in front of him, flicking on my hazards.
I get out of the car at the same time Reid jumps down from the van, immediately vomiting all over the ground. It melts into the snow, making an awful orange and yellow path.
He looks like death. His pale skin has a greyish tinge to it and sweat is beaded at his temples and upper lip. Dark circles mar the skin under his eyes, and the guy can barely stand straight.
“You okay?” I ask, gritting my teeth.
There is no way I can lay him out whilst he really is sick. If I thought for a minute that it’s just a hangover, he’d already be laid out in the snow, out cold.
“Do I look okay?” he bites out, wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve.
I step closer and get a whiff of the alcohol. “Fucking hell, Reid. How much did you drink last night?”
“Enough to not be able to drive home, but not enough to feel like this,” he mutters, cursing as more vomit comes up.
“What the fuck did you eat?” Wyatt asks, taking a step back.
“I don’t fucking know,” he heaves out. “This chick took me to an all-style food restaurant. I think I’ve got food poisoning.”
“You owe us for this,” I warn him. “I’ve had to leave Lily, and you know what today means to her. She told you whilst she decorated our fucking office.”
“I know. I know. And I’m sorry. Really fucking sorry.”
He does look it, but that could just be because he’s feeling like shit.
Taking pity on him, I pull out the bottle of water from my coat pocket. “Drink this. Wyatt is going to drive you back. Okay?”
“Yeah.”
I turn, ready to get back into the car, but he calls out to me. “Jaxon?”
“Yeah?” I call back.
“I really am fucking sorry. I never meant for this. I really didn’t. And I’ll explain it to Lily and apologise to her.”
I give him a nod. “Oh, and you’ll get extra work when you’re better. Not only for fucking up my Christmas, but for making me look like a dick in front of the Carter’s. You know I’m never going to hear the end of this.”
He grimaces. “Shit.”
Yeah. Shit is the right word.
I head towards the car, wondering how I’m going to refrain from punching one of them if they go on about it. It’s not like I wanted to leave. I had to. He’s my brother. And each of them would do the same for one of their own too.
I pick up my phone from the compartment between the seats and go to ring Lily to let her know I’m on my way back.
It cuts off immediately, and I glance down at the phone.
No signal.
I throw it down between the seats, growling. This day started off good.
Fucking Reid.
I pull out into the road once I see Wyatt flash the lights in the van. Barely going fifteen, I head back towards home, the urge to get back to her growing stronger.
Taking the second left, I come to a stop at a blocked road sign, and quickly take the diverted route through the back lanes.
Fuck.
My windshield wipers are at full speed, the noise drowning out all of the other sounds, including the radio, though that is only on low.