His speech garnered a good applause. He walked confidently back to his seat. Cocky asshole. After he sat down, I heard him whisper, "You're up, Penny. By the way, your face is bright red."
I finished my notes on Tyler’s stupid speech. For the first time all morning, I didn’t need to look down at my roster. “Penny Taylor.”
She slowly walked past me. But she didn’t make it very far before she tripped over a backpack in the aisle and fell sideways into someone’s desk. The desk screeched a few inches to the right and the girl sitting there looked like she had just been woken up. I was surprised she didn't scream.
The whole class started laughing. But I cringed. I’d just thought that I wanted Tyler to trip down the aisle, but now that Penny had, I wanted to give everyone a failing grade that laughed at her.
"I'm so sorry," she said and rushed up to the podium. The screeching sound seemed to echo as the girl moved her desk back where it belonged.
The majority of the class was still laughing at her. I looked down at my paper for a second. Breathe. I didn’t want to snap at the entire class. Honestly, if it had been anyone else I probably would have laughed too.
I finally looked up at her. She was wearing jeans and a tank top and her hair was straight instead of unruly. And she was wearing more makeup than usual. She’s trying to impress you. I felt myself breathe easier than I had all week. But then I noticed just how pale and nervous she was. Her hands were clutching her paper so tightly I thought she might rip it. My most nervous student. The shyest one. She could start speaking in Spanish and I doubt I’d be able to give her anything less than a B. Didn’t she see that she had nothing to worry about? But still she just stood there, a deer in headlights. Say something, Penny. Anything. I smiled at her, hoping it would encourage her to start her speech. That everything would be okay.
"Okay so that was embarrassing,” she said. "Anyway, I...," her throat caught.
Keep going. You’re okay.
“I have been inspired by so many people that it's hard to choose just one. Which got me thinking that we actually choose the people that are going to influence our lives. It's our choice. We're able to choose who is going to influence us because we choose which strangers become more than acquaintances. We get to choose that. So really, aren't we all as individuals the ones that inspire ourselves the most?
"Acquaintances come in and out of your life all the time. And yes, we can certainly be influenced by mere acquaintances, because some are a positive force and others are a negative energy. Sometimes I think that pain is what defines you; the way you react to adversity. I actually have been inspired by many strangers in my life. The elementary school bullies. They helped me grow. They made me stronger. The professor who gave me my first D last semester."
A few students laughed at her joke. But even though it was funny, I wasn’t laughing. Yes, she was shy and nervous. But her speech was thought-provoking. Clever. Different than anyone else’s angle, that was for sure.
"I've learned to study harder," she said with a smile. "Acquaintances can be impactful. But there's usually a reason that they remain at a distance. Whether it's because you're uncomfortable with the idea of befriending them, or they just hate you." She shrugged. "I'm stronger because of the acquaintances that have come in and out of my life.
"But it's the people that become more than acquaintances that really inspire us. The people we choose to grow with. Sometimes it's best to remain strangers. But more often than not, if you choose to let them in, they'll inspire you in more ways than you can possibly imagine."
Me. She was talking about me. And in that moment, I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt more relief. I did want her to go on a date with Tyler. I did want her to try to move on. But if she had tried? And decided to pursue me anyway? Wasn’t that enough?
She was standing at the podium staring at me. I realized I hadn’t written a single thing down. I glanced at my roster and called the next name so that Penny would be free to leave the front of the class.
She looked down as she walked, probably terrified of tripping over anything. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Right before she passed my desk, she glanced up.
Nervous and shy. But talking about me for her speech? I raised my left eyebrow. More than anything she was naughty. Very, very naughty. It felt like she was challenging me. And I’d never backed down from a challenge before.
"You decided to talk about me too, huh?” Tyler whispered when she sat down. “I liked it."
Tyler Stevens may have been great at giving speeches, but he was rather dense. Penny’s speech had nothing to do with him. She hadn’t even glanced his way the entire time. But Penny also didn’t correct him. Which probably meant she wasn’t closing the door on the possibility of being with him quite yet. The ball was in my court. And I was done messing around. If Penny wanted me after I’d warned her to stay away? That was her decision. I was nothing if not respectful of women’s choices.
She wanted this. And clearly I needed this. Just the thought of letting myself have her had my dick straining against my pants. Fuck it. Fuck everything. I could only tell myself no so many times.
After the last speech, I dismissed the class. And I waited. I knew she’d come to me. There was a plan forming in my head on how to get her alone again. But it definitely involved her always coming to me.
Once the class emptied out, she stepped in front of my desk.
"Did you enjoy my speech, Professor Hunter?" she asked.
I looked up at her. "Miss Taylor, you'll have to wait until Monday for your grade, just like the other students."
She looked down. I saw the flush of her cheeks. As much as I liked seeing her embarrassed, I wasn’t trying to dismiss her. I was tiptoeing around the game that she’d started. I lightly touched her elbow.
She looked back up.
"But I will say that it was rather enlightening."
We stood like that for a few seconds too long. Her blinking shyly at me. My fingers brushing her skin. I let my hand fall to the desk. And as soon as I did, a chill ran down my spine. I tried to ignore the feeling as I stood up. It’s not like I’d have to go long before I got to touch her again. To feel her warmth. Because there was no going back now. Not when she was blatantly flirting with me in class. Not when she was staring at me like that. Begging me with just her eyes.
I leaned forward as I went to grab my satchel. When my head was level with hers, I paused. Our faces were only a few inches apart. One bend and we’d be reenacting our first kiss. But teasing her was half the fun.
I flashed her a smile instead. "Have a good weekend, Penny," I said, grabbed my satchel, and exited the room. I had her right where I wanted her.
Chapter 16
Monday
I’d skipped my weekly therapy session. All I could think about was how Penny had looked at me after class on Friday. During her speech. Pretty much every time I’d ever seen her. I’d tried to keep my distance. But what was the point when she didn’t want me to? We were both consenting adults. I was done taking the high road. And I couldn’t look Dr. Clark in the face and lie anymore. Not when I knew what I was about to do.
Besides, the more I thought about it, the more I realized what my infatuation with Penny was. A game. I’d win it and then I’d be able to walk away. I didn’t need to talk to Dr. Clark about that. He’d just tell me I was making a mistake. That I deserved someone good. Yadda, yadda. Something about the universe giving back what I put out. Complete and utter bullshit. Because I knew that I didn’t deserve anything other than the hell I was living. If I had changed, and if I was suddenly a good man, I wouldn’t be thinking about a student.