“Long night?” my housekeeper, Ellen, asked as she set down a plate on the kitchen island.
“Why would you say that?” It came out defensive. I instantly regretted my tone. It’s not like she knew what plagued my thoughts. She had no idea what I had done last night.
She laughed, never one to be affected by my moods. “Dear, you look like you haven’t slept a wink. The glasses. Whatever you have going on there,” she added and pointed to my hair.
I ran my fingers through my hair as I sat down at the counter. My hair had gotten wet last night and I hadn’t bothered to try to tame the curls. I knew I looked ridiculous. That’s what I was going for today. Because if Penny stared at me with her flushed cheeks one more time I was going to fucking cum in my pants. “It’s Friday. None of my students will care if I look a mess when they’re suffering through hangovers.”
“To the contrary, James, you look very handsome. Just a little tired is all.”
Great. I was hoping I looked like a disheveled mess. I took a bite of my omelet and immediately felt a little better. Ellen’s cooking had a way of always calming me down. “This is delicious.”
“I know.” She walked over to the fridge. “Anything in particular you want me to prep for this weekend?”
I shook my head even though I knew she wasn’t looking at me. I couldn’t even help my mind from wandering. What did Penny like to eat? What the hell am I even thinking?
“I’ll make a lasagna for you.”
“I can fend for myself over the weekend,” I said.
She turned back toward me and put her hand on her hip. “You know perfectly well that you don’t know how to cook a thing.”
“That’s not exactly true, Ellen.” I took a sip of my coffee. “I know how to…”
“Yes, your signature dish. Dear, you use sauce from a jar. A jar. That hardly counts as a homemade meal.” She smiled at me and turned back to the fridge. “Besides, the agreement was that I wouldn’t work weekends as long as you let me make you a few things ahead of time that you could reheat. I don’t want you to starve. Or eat takeout for every meal.”
I didn’t mind takeout. But she was right, I preferred her cooking. And I knew she thought it was her job to take care of me. I relied on her way too much and we both knew it. She was my chef, my housekeeper, and really the only friend I had in Delaware.
I finished my coffee and stood up. “I’ll see you on Monday, Ellen. Have a nice weekend.”
“You too, dear. And just give me a call if you need anything.”
I didn’t respond. Even if I did need something, I wouldn’t call her. I had given her the weekends off for a reason. She was my only friend here, but I was certain I wasn’t hers. Besides, who could stand me for a whole week? I could barely stand myself. And the thought of Ellen quitting on me made my chest feel tight.
I grabbed my jacket from last night and a whiff of Penny’s sweet floral scent hit me. I closed my eyes for a second. She smelled like cherry blossoms. That was it. Cherries. And sunshine. Get a grip. No one smelled like sunshine. I just missed the sun from the last few days of rain. That was all.
Luckily today the rain had stopped. I kept my head down as I walked on Main Street. I needed the fresh air, but I didn’t want to have to interact with any of the students. That was my new motto. Just…stay away from them at all costs. No fraternizing.
By the time I reached Smith Hall, I felt re-energized. I had a class full of eager students to teach. And I was going to help them excel in Comm. Nothing else.
I opened the door to my classroom and kept my eyes focused on the front of the room. If I didn’t look at Penny, it would be like she wasn’t even there. I put my satchel down on the desk and took off my jacket before her lingering scent on the fabric consumed me.
I put my hands into the pockets of my jeans to remind myself to keep them to myself and stared at the front row of the class. Stay focused. "Doesn't everyone look alert today? So, I think the best thing to do is probably hear about your nights.” What the hell is wrong with me? That wasn’t on my lesson plan. The words had just slipped out. I wanted to know if Penny remembered last night. I quickly thought of how I could spin this ridiculous assignment. “The more comfortable we are with each other, the easier it will be to stand up here later in the semester and give fantastic speeches. Everyone up to share?"
Some of my students groaned. I wanted to see Penny’s reaction. But I knew it was better not to look. Breathe. My eyes refused to listen to reason though, and they wandered over to Penny. She was staring right back at me. I had tried to look a mess today, but she was staring at me like I was anything but. I immediately dropped her gaze, sat down, and pulled out the class list from my satchel. I went through the names on autopilot, barely registering their responses. The first few people swore they were just studying. Some people mentioned that they weren't lame and had gone partying.
I stared at the roster, hating the name even though I didn’t know the kid. "Tyler Stevens?" I tried to hide the disdain from my voice.
Tyler stood up. "Honestly I got drunk and made a fool of myself. I was with this smart, beautiful girl, and I probably blew my shot with her."
Penny turned away from him. Was he the piece of shit that made her cry last night? I was going to kill him. The paper crinkled in my fist. First fantasizing over a student and now wanting to murder one? I let the list drop to the desk. This was going to be a great semester.
"Sounds like an unfortunate series of events," I said and turned my attention to Penny. It looked like she gulped. I heard Tyler sigh as he sat back down, but my gaze didn’t leave Penny’s face. This was the only time it made sense for me to stare at her. I wasn’t going to miss a second. "Penny Taylor," I said.
While she stood up, I pulled out the piggy bank from my satchel. The one I’d spent hours wandering around Main Street to find because I’d apparently turned into a stalker in my free time. It was special treatment. Special treatment drew attention. But I still bought it. And I still pulled it out for her to see. Hopefully everyone was too hungover to notice. "I came prepared today,” I said. “You'll have to trust that I have some pennies in here." It was a lie. I didn’t have any pennies. She was the only Penny I wanted.
Her cheeks turned rosy as she looked down at the piggy bank and then back at me. "I went for a walk in the rain with a stranger I met at a coffee shop."
I raised my eyebrows. She remembered. And she was more confident than the blush on her cheeks implied. Bolder. Sexier. "Sounds rather enchanting, Miss Taylor."
"It was."
Would she be horrified by what I did after our late-night walk? Knowing I masturbated to the thought of her in her wet tank top and the way my name fell from her lips? God those lips. I couldn’t pull my gaze away from her. But it was time to call on the next student. The moment was over. Hours searching for a piggy bank had led to one minute with her. It was worth every second. I looked back down at my paper and called the next name. But I didn’t hear a thing anyone else said.
I stood back up after the last person recalled their dull evening. "Well, it seems as though we have quite a few interesting characters this semester. And now I have a feel for things that you can all use improvement on. Speaking of which..." I rummaged through my satchel and pulled out the syllabi I’d forgotten to hand out on the first day of classes. But I was glad I did. It had given me a chance to get closer to Penny. Even though I knew I shouldn’t. Even though every bone in my body was telling me to stop.