He cuts me off, his eyes darker now as he glares at me. “I’m not nervous. I mean, not any more than any parent dropping their kid off with strangers for the first time would be.”
“Right. Of course.”
“No. Why do you think that? That I’m nervous.”
My eyes drift to his knee that’s been shaking since I started asking him questions. “I just like to know my students. That’s all. I want to make this as easy on her as I possibly can.”
He stops the shaking, placing his hand on his knee and pulls in a deep breath. “She lost her mother when she was one. I kind of . . .” His eyes drift toward his daughter and don’t let go. “I’ve held her close. I had to work to provide for her, but every free second I had, I was there with her.”
“I get that.” My heart races thinking about how protective this man is of his daughter and how he must have loved her mother very much with the way he talks about her passing. That couldn’t have been easy. “I’m sorry for your loss. For both of your losses. Is there anything I can do to make this transition easier?”
His eyes snap back to me. “No. We’ll be fine.”
Independent. Now that’s different from the men I’ve been involved with before. Not that I’m involved with Rafe. I really need to get a grip.
“Okay. Well, if you ever need anything, my email is on the paperwork in this folder I’m going to send with you. Reach out anytime.” Our eyes lock, and I couldn’t look away even if I tried, which I don’t. “Anytime.”
He stares, those amazing eyes boring into mine. “Thank you.”
Finally, I pull my gaze off him and stand, moving over to Hailey for some much-needed distance from her father.
If there’s one thing Rafe is, it’s intense.
But I’ve never fallen for a straight guy before, no matter how broken he may seem, and I’m not about to start.
* * *
“Okay, so I really appreciate this.” Emily offers me a kind smile. She’s very pretty. Dark hair and eyes. Petite, yet curvy. I’m sure she has men falling at her feet all the time. And yes, I know she’s single. Because she’s mentioned several times that her boyfriend and she broke up last month.
But I’m not at all interested. The long eyelashes she’s batting at me are wasted. “It’s really no problem. I’m up early anyway. I never understood people staying up until all hours of the night. Well, I mean, sometimes there’s a good reason.”
She bites her bottom lip and tosses me a flirty smile. Yeah, I’m not interested. But I don’t tell her that because I don’t want to be rude. Instead, I play oblivious. “Right. Still, waking up at five and getting my kid ready and putting her on the bus is very kind.”
She waves me off and looks down at Hailey, who’s attached to my leg. “It will be no problem at all. Right, Miss Hailey?”
Hailey furrows her little brows, not happy at all about the newest stranger in her life. And yet, she hasn’t stopped talking about Mr. Burke since we met him at the kindergarten open house the other night. “I don’t want her to put me on the bus.”
Great.
I kneel down and look at Hailey, into those eyes that resemble mine. “We talked about this, remember? Daddy has to go to work really early, and I don’t want to wake you up and drop you off at the empty school. That wouldn’t be fun.”
She’s still pouting. “I don’t wanna.”
“But you want to go to school?” I’m not playing fair. I know she wants to.
“Yes!”
I grin and boop her tiny nose with my finger. “Exactly. So Emily will put your little butt on the bus that will take you right to Mr. Burke.”
Her eyes light up. Because of fucking course, she’s delighted by that. She loves her new teacher. Her new male teacher. Her new male teacher that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since the other night either.
With his pouty pink lips and caring eyes. Fuck. I don’t even know if he’s gay. He’s probably not. For all I know, he has a wife he goes home to every night, but I can’t stop obsessing about him.
“I like Mr. Burke!” Her eyes are still shining with bright approval.
I laugh and stand up, ruffling her hair. “You like Emily too.”
Emily smiles at me, but Hailey is not having it. She groans, actually groans with all the attitude of a teenager instead of a five year old. At least what I thought I’d get with a five year old. I thought the attitude would come much later. Thought I had more time, but nope. She’s a tyrant in a pink tutu when she’s not getting her way.
“Fine.”
I laugh. “Be nice.”
She glares up at me but then concedes, “Okay. I’ll be nice.”
I try not to laugh at her again. Damn, she’s cute. Beyond cute. I focus on Emily. “So, if you can be here a little before five. I’ll let you in. The bus should be here at seven-thirty. I’ll give her a bath the night before and lay her clothes out for her.”
Emily nods. “I’ve babysat lots of times. It’s no biggie. My first class isn’t until ten. We’re good.”
She’s going to the local college and is twenty. Four years younger than me, but there are a lot of differences in us. I had a kid at just barely nineteen. When that happens, if you want to be a good parent, you grow the hell up. And I did.
Emily is kid-free and totally carefree. Which, good for her, but I wouldn’t trade Hailey for all the freedom in the world. “Okay, I appreciate it. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I try to usher her toward the door, but she stops, facing me while tossing her hair in a seductive way she obviously wants to appear innocent. “I thought maybe we could watch a movie or something tonight.” She nibbles on her bottom lip. “Maybe get to know each other better.”
Christ.
“I’m sorry. I told Hailey we’d spend some time together tonight, with it being her last night before school and all.” I try to be polite, but really, I just want her to leave.
“Oh,” she pouts, but she’s got nothing on Hailey’s pout. “Okay. I understand. Maybe another time.”
I nod but am careful not to actually agree to anything. I remind her again of the plan for tomorrow, and then finally, she leaves.
It’s wrong how relieved I am when the door closes behind her. Not that I dislike her all that much, but her flirting was making me uncomfortable.
I’ve been out for a while. Since before Hailey was born, but I guess my Aunt Jo neglected to mention that to her friend or her friend didn’t tell Emily. Maybe I’ll have to ask Jo to make it known.
Thankfully, Aunt Jo is the only person in my life who accepted me with open arms all my life, no matter what. The fact that I’m gay had zero impact on our relationship, unlike every other relationship I’ve had.
I try not to let the bitterness swallow me and put on my best smile for Hailey before I ask her what type of pizza she’d like.
Cheese.
It’s always cheese, but I ask anyway.
I want her to know she can always be who she wants to be. She can change her mind and tell me anything. Always. So, I ask. Every single time.