It meant something.
The atmosphere felt thick and heavy, like you could cleave the air with a knife. Sean’s heart pounded against his ribs, desire and longing creating a potent cocktail of anticipation inside him.
“I don’t want this to be for show,” she whispered. “I want it to be for us.”
“Are you sure?” He traced the curve of her jaw with his fingertip, following the line down her neck and over the bump of her collarbone. “You want to break your ‘no hanky panky’ rule?”
“I really said that, didn’t I?” She cringed. “I thought I was being so smart, too. Laying ground rules early, setting boundaries.”
“I don’t care what you thought then. I care what you think now.” He practically growled the words.
“I want you. I want… this.”
The smoke in her voice almost set him alight. “Turn around.”
There was no telling whether her dress looked more amazing from the front or the back. The stretchy fabric gleamed in the lamp’s light, highlighting her shoulders and the gentle flare of her hips. It was cut into a low vee and a cleverly concealed zipper ran from the point of the vee and down her back.
He swept her long hair over one shoulder, exposing the delicate line of her neck. His lips gravitated to the spot, drawn by the need to taste. To touch. The scent of her—faded perfume and floral soap—teased him as his hands smoothed down her sides, tracing her shape. Then he tugged on her zipper. The sliver of bare skin deepened, revealing a pair of black, lacy underwear and thigh-high black stockings. The dress slid down her body and she stepped out of the slinky puddle, kicking it to the side.
Glorious dark hair fell over her bare breasts; she was a goddess who’d fallen to earth. Being here with Lily was different to how it normally felt when he took someone to bed. The way he desired Lily had always gone deeper than what felt normal to him. He was drawn to her on some primal level.
A thought danced in the back of his mind that this wasn’t going to be something he could easily walk away from.
“You’re beautiful, Lily. So bloody beautiful.”
Something flickered across her face. In the lamplight, he could see the golden glimmers in her rich, brown irises, and all the other intricate, minute details of her. The small moles dotting her shoulders and arms, the tiny scar that intersected the end of one eyebrow, the faint silvery stretch marks on her upper thighs and hips from when she’d had a growth spurt one summer.
Things which some might wrongly label as imperfections, but that he saw as the humanity of her. The realness of her.
“I haven’t felt beautiful in a long time,” she replied.
Now why had she told him that?
Tonight wasn’t about baring her soul. It wasn’t about sharing her vulnerabilities. Or her insecurities. It was about physical pleasure. Blowing off steam. Indulgence and basic human need. It was about giving in to feelings she’d held for a very long time.
Because, before tonight, she’d felt so emotionally bruised. So battered. So heart-weary.
“That jerk doesn’t deserve to crush your confidence.” He cupped her face.
“If only it was one opinion.” She lowered her eyes. “Over the last month I’ve heard nothing but how I wasn’t good enough for him.”
“They don’t know you like I do. You’ve got the heart of a lion and the mind of an artist.” He wrapped his arm around her naked body. “And beauty isn’t worth a thing if you don’t have the insides to match. But you do.”
He brought his lips down to hers and she slipped her arms around his neck, needing his strength and his confidence and his ability to just… be. Lord, how she needed it.
She blinked, finding her eyes filled with tears. Horrified at the thought of crying when she was supposed to be getting it on, she blinked them away. “When did you get so good with words, Sean Hutcherson?”
“It’s been a while. I grew up.”
She looked up into his pale eyes and the heavy brows that gave his face resonance. “Yeah, you sure did.”
He kissed her again, and this time he walked her back to the bed. She wanted nothing more than to feel the weight of him pressing her into the soft mattress and to lose herself in the slide of his palms over her body. She wanted to forget who she was when she’d boarded that plane and remember the woman who’d packed her bags and left home with hope glowing like sunshine.
She wanted to be that woman again.
Her hands slid to the buttons on his shirt, popping them free, one by one. As they parted, she caught sight of the tattoos hiding underneath. There was an intricate design decorating one side of his chest and another on his right bicep. She pushed the shirt to the floor and traced the ink with her fingertip.
“Wow, these are gorgeous.”
They were high-quality pieces. Art. The design on his chest was all black and featured foamy waves with a fin poking out.
“It’s an orca fin,” he explained. “Orcas are known for their strong family bonds. It’s rare for one to separate from their pod for longer than a few hours. They look after one another and stay together for life.”
“Just like you and Zoey,” she said.
“Yeah.”
Lily had been the one to leave her family behind—five years she’d been head down on the other side of the world, losing her sense of time and space while she worked and worked and worked. She would lose weeks at a time, forgetting to call home, missing birthdays, sacrificing so much.
Was it worth it?
“Got any more?” she asked with a cheeky smile, trying to focus on the present and not the past. Not on all her mistakes.
“Nope.” He grinned. “Just the ones you see.”
“I should probably double check,” she replied, her hand drawing down the zipper on his jeans. “Just in case.”
Amusement sparkled in his expression as they undressed. Bending over, she unzipped her boots and removed them. Then she peeled her thigh-high stockings down, one at a time, and divested herself of her underwear, too. At the same time, Sean shed his clothes, his eyes never leaving her. Soon they were both naked and fabric littered the floor.
As he stood before her, she desperately tried to hold on to the sliver of confidence she had left. He was magnificent, muscles honed from lifting deliveries at the bar and spending every waking minute out on the waves. His broad shoulders looked like they could carry the world upon them, and the flat plane of his stomach was ripped with a sinful six pack.
“No doubts,” she said, reaching for his hand. Was she saying that more for him or for herself? She wasn’t sure.
“No doubts.”
She swept the covers back on the bed and climbed in while he retrieved a condom stashed in his luggage, and as he took care of their protection, Lily averted her eyes. She suddenly felt a little shy. Not because she wasn’t confident about her decision, but the gravity of being with a man she’d pined over for a good chunk of her life was a little surreal.
A little… intimidating.
The mattress shifted under the weight of him as he sank in beside her, his hands warm and eager. She pulled him closer, shifting herself, hinting for him to move above her. To trap her between his hard chest and the soft sheets, like he was shielding her from the world.