“I want you,” she whispered, looking up at him and hoping he couldn’t see quite how fragile her heart was right now.
“I want you too, Lily. More than anything.”
She buried her face against his neck, unsure of how to react to the words. Because they made her heart sing and her soul sigh and that scratched-up, beat-up, torn-up part of her felt a moment of relief. Instead of responding, she kissed his neck and rolled her hips up against him, to show him what she wanted.
He pushed into her, joining their bodies, and the sensation stole the air from her lungs. A brief flash of discomfort gave way to liquid heat, honeyed and soothing and all-encompassing. She let her eyes flutter shut and just… felt.
“Don’t hide away.” His lips peppered her skin. “Look at me.”
She did, and they moved in time. It was electric. He palmed her breast, his other arm wrapping around her and holding her tightly against him. His touch would be branded onto her skin forever, and the memory of this night would be carved into stone in her mind.
This isn’t forever.
But as her head lolled back against the pillows, her body alight with pleasure, Lily knew she was lying to herself. This meant far more than she could ever have bargained for.
He meant more. So much more.
She grabbed his face in her hands and forced his mouth down to hers, trying to stop herself from blurting out the dangerous thoughts in her head. It couldn’t go anywhere. As soon as the wedding was over, they would go their separate ways.
Their fake relationship would quietly come to an end.
His lips pressed against hers and she urged him on by rocking her hips. Matching him. Challenging him. Finding a rhythm between them that felt more real and perfect than any other moment of her life. They clung to one another—fingers digging into flesh and muscles tightening and mouths gasping. She could feel his orgasm gathering as he gripped her harder. It felt good. So good. His eyes never left hers because Sean didn’t shy away from connection and she loved that about him.
This isn’t love.
But it was something. More than like. More than sex. More than a fake relationship.
“I’m close,” she gasped, bowing against him. “Meet me there.”
When he pushed into her for the last time, seating himself deep, the sensation was like pure sunshine. Like champagne and glitter and all good things. It echoed in her head as she held him close, eyes closed and face pressed against his chest, shock waves of pleasure rippling through her.
Changing her forever.
12
Afterward, Sean drew Lily into the shower so they could clean up… and go for round two. Sure, the inn’s rattling pipes probably alerted everyone to what they were up to, but he was never one to care what people thought. Besides, he wouldn’t allow a single thing to ruin their night.
Because who knew what would happen in the light of day?
The bathroom was completely fogged as he dried her with a big fluffy towel, her cheeks pink and lips swollen. He couldn’t help kissing her again. They dried off and crawled back into bed, finally sated. Unlike last night, where he’d barely slept because of laying stiff as a board—unable to take his mind off the invisible line drawn between them—she curled into him, face pressed against his chest and arm draped over his midsection.
Strong winds outside made the old building creak and groan, and weak moonlight filtered into their room, causing pale puddles of light to pool on the bed. Lily’s fingertip traced the orca fin on his chest.
“I admire how dedicated to family you are,” she voiced out of nowhere. “Especially since you weren’t given the same dedication from your parents.”
“Should I be insulted that after what we just did, you come out with that?” he teased. It was too dark to see her blush, but Sean would have bet his last five bucks that Lily’s face currently resembled a tomato. “And thank you. Family is important to me.”
“Me, too.”
He detected a note of sadness in her voice, and it tugged at his heartstrings. “You must be happy seeing everyone this weekend.”
“I don’t know how it’s possible, but seeing them is almost making me feel more homesick than usual. Through a computer screen I don’t see the details, you know? But seeing them in person, it’s like… I’m confronted with how much time has passed. The years are going by so quickly.”
“Time is funny like that,” he replied. Didn’t he know it—the year he’d spent away from Zoey had felt like mere days. But time lost meaning when you were numbing yourself with work and partying and trying to pretend you were someone else. “We spend our childhoods counting down the days to the next birthday, always wanting to be older. Then when we’re older, we wonder why it all moves so fast.”
“That’s very poignant.”
“For a salt-water-drenched slacker.”
“Exactly.” She pressed a kiss to his chest. “Don’t worry, I know you’re much smarter than you let on.”
He raised an eyebrow. “That a fact?”
“Uh, huh. You don’t like to people to have expectations of you, so you play down your skills in order to fly under the radar.”
Oof.
The assessment was painfully astute. Low expectations formed part of his protective shell—along with things like his breezy smile and laid-back attitude and his reluctance to set goals. If his own mother had never believed he would amount to anything, then there must be some truth to it. It was better not to get anyone’s hopes up and risk disappointment.
“Okay, Miss Smartypants. What skills do I downplay?” Despite knowing this was a dangerous line to walk, his curiosity got the better of him. Just how well did Lily know him?
“You always used to make out like you were bad at maths, but I saw you working at the surf club’s charity barbeque multiple years, and you added up sales in your head faster than a calculator.”
“You noticed that, huh?”
“Yes, I did. I also noticed how you used to lean into the slacker stereotype by wagging school to ‘go surfing’ when really you were at the surf club, cleaning the equipment and reading all the lifesaving manuals.”
Now, how did she know about that?
“I saw you one time,” she replied, as if reading his mind. “I had a free period and Dad was at the surf club to do a service on their air-conditioning system. On the way out of school, I saw your homeroom teacher having a word with the vice principal about how you’d left school grounds again to go surfing. So, imagine my surprise when I saw you huddled in a corner of the club’s rec room, pouring over training manuals.”
Shit. He didn’t think anybody knew about that, except the people who worked at the surf club. They never ratted on him because he helped out, and they’d even encouraged him to get his Bronze Medallion so he could become a surf lifesaver.
But he never did. Again, having people believe in him felt risky.
“I always wondered why you never went into that sort of work,” she added. “You seemed so passionate about it.”
“Any excuse to get out of Mrs. Anderson’s English class.” He felt his defensive walls rebuilding. Nobody, aside from Zoey, had ever seen Sean with such truth and clarity. He wasn’t sure he liked it. “If I had to read one more depressing story about some farmer in the 1800s, I might have stabbed myself in the eye just to stay awake.”