I’ve even started pulling Stella out of the drawer that had become her crypt in the evenings and setting her next to flourishing Damien.
But now this.
This is too much.
“I told you I ordered something online for Christmas,” Axel says through a cocky grin. “It wasn’t going to be ready for a couple of weeks. But it’s ready now.”
Online classes.
Something he’d known I wanted but hadn’t been ready to start. Or so I thought.
“You can actually get a few in before you leave for France.”
I can’t believe he did this.
“Axel, it’s too much.” I knitted Otto a pair of hockey skate booties and gave Axel a framed picture I’d taken of him and Otto on the sly.
“It’s not. You were there for me when Otto was born in a way that I will never forget. I can’t stand the idea of you feeling like you don’t have options, because you deserve all of them. And I know, given enough time, you’d get them on your own. But maybe I like the idea of being a part of helping that future happen.” He rubs his chest. “Even if Otto and I aren’t there to see it firsthand.”
He’s helping me build my future. Knowing he won’t be a part of it.
I try to speak but end up shaking my head through a watery smile with too much of all the wrong kinds of emotion behind it. It takes everything I have not to throw myself into his arms, but I can see the whiteboard wish list with the blurred lines in the rough shape of my body beyond his shoulder.
We’ve been here before.
And if I don’t do something about it, we’re going to end up in a place where neither of us can afford to go.
Axel
“Jesus, what’s your emergency?” Grady groans into the phone. “Boomer go missing? Spoiler alert, he’s banging a bunny somewhere disgusting. Tell Bowie to cool his tits.”
“She’s got a date.” I’ve got my hand cupped over the phone and my mouth as I panic-stalk from one end of my bedroom to the other.
“What, who?”
“Nora. Who the hell do you think?” I’m losing my shit, and it comes out sounding more like hysterical whisper-screaming than the manly bark I intended. But damn it, everything was going great this morning. I told her about the online classes, and yeah, there was that minute when our eyes met and everything started to slow down, closing in until I couldn’t see anything but her.
And then it passed. We were fine.
Until this afternoon. When suddenly, she has a fucking date.
I hear some rustling through the phone like maybe Grady’s getting out of bed, and I feel like shit for interrupting what time he has with Harlow. But this is an emergency.
I need him to talk me down because I’m at risk of hulking out. Over something that is none of my damn business and shouldn’t impact me at all. That’s what he needs to remind me. Maybe with a fist or something. Because this is bad.
“Who’s she going out with?”
“Some douche from marketing,” I spit.
I don’t even know if he’s a douche. Maybe he’s a nice guy who would be the perfect low-key romance before she left. Maybe—
“Not that fucker Drake?”
The phone cracks within my grasp and whatever noise I make is savage enough that Grady takes it for agreement.
“Okay, is she there now? In the apartment?”
“Yeah. Giving Otto a bath before she gets ready.”
“Then it’s not too late. Quick, spill something on your shirt.”
“What?”
“You’re going to get in front of her,” he says, slowing his words so I can process each one. “And peel it off all slow-like. Dude, it’s time to be the bunny.”
My agro-pacing halts and I look at the phone. “Fuck. You.”
This isn’t the time to throw that bullshit advice I gave him as a joke when he was losing his mind over Harlow back in my face.
“Yeah, believe me, I know what you’re thinking. But Axe, she’s wearing my ring. It works. Shirt off. And touch your mouth. Hook your thumb in the pocket of your jeans and subtly inch them lower. Shit, what were Dina’s other rules? Oh yeah, don’t forget the abs. Stretch a little and scratch them. Not like you have a rash, but all light—”
“Grady,” I bark. “I’m not going to be the fucking bunny. First, I’m not using any advice originating from the woman who cost me Nora the first time to try and get her back.” Not to mention that I’ve been flaunting my finer points for six months and the only thing that seems to get her attention is being real. “And last, hooking up would be a mistake. We both have our reasons, and they’re legit.”
My breath is coming hard like I just got off the ice, but Grady is silent.
Then, “Cost you Nora the first time?”
I sigh. He knows this much, might as well own up to the rest. “I spent the night with Dina a couple times around the time you and Harlow were getting together. I was, fuck, I don’t know. Bored. Lonely, I guess.” There were no expectations, it’s not how she rolls. “The next week, there’s this new girl moved in next door, and there’s just something about her. I can’t stop looking for her. Can’t stop trying to get her attention, get her to laugh, get her to talk. And then talk longer.”
“Wait, you were working Fun Wrecker?”
“I wasn’t working anyone. I was into her. More than I even realized. And when I was ready to make a move, Dina showed up claiming a missing thong.”
“That old chestnut.”
“It was like everything good and bright and hopeful that had been in Nora’s eyes was gone in a blink. And hell, maybe for a second, it felt a little like relief. Because what I was feeling for this girl wasn’t familiar. I felt out of my depth. Out of control. Except then it was gone. She was shutting me out. Didn’t want to talk. Didn’t want to be friends.”
“She didn’t want to get played.”
It’s the farthest extreme from what was happening, but who could blame her for thinking it?
After a long pause, Grady whistles out a breath. “Okay, so here’s what I’m thinking. Take off the shirt anyway.”
“What, why?”
“Because the team needs you on the ice and not in custody for taking this guy out. You’re a man on the edge, so better to defuse the situation and just flash some abs. She’ll be thinking about it while she’s with him, comparing you in her mind. It’s Drake. He’ll lose. And it’ll fuck up her date enough that she won’t go home with him. Problem solved.”
Except it wouldn’t actually solve anything. Because Nora’s not mine to get back.
I’m losing my mind over her going out with another man when I can’t have her anyway.
She’s leaving.
Christ, I need to get a grip.
Chapter 15
Nora
Worst. Idea. Ever.
God, what am I doing here?
This was such a mistake.
“I was starting to think you weren’t going to call me back,” Drake says with a mock pout that’s probably supposed to be cute. Maybe it is. I don’t even know.