Chapter 13
Axel
“When’s your family getting in tomorrow?” Nora asks as we clean up after dinner.
I made salmon with spinach, and with Otto conked out hard after an ornery afternoon, we’re both enjoying the calm while we’ve got it.
I’m thinking he might have been picking up on some of my tension, not because my family is coming here for Christmas this weekend, but because Nora is leaving to see hers. I know she’s aching to see her siblings, but the more I get out of her about her homelife growing up, the less I like her going back, even for a visit. Not like I can really fit fourteen-plus Bennetts in here. The logistics of getting them here alone would be nuts.
I’d need to hire a party bus.
I look around what most would consider a fairly spacious kitchen, currently decorated with some fairy lights Nora strung, and wonder how big of a house I’d need to accommodate her family.
“Axel?” She pokes me with a rinsed plate.
Right. I load it into the dishwasher. “Mom’s not getting in until two, but Astrid should be here around noon. Anders, whenever he decides to show up.”
He’d be earlier if Nora was going to be around, but without her, it won’t be nearly as much fun tormenting me.
“Is your mom going to be one of those grandmas who shows up with forty-six packages for Otto and wears a pin on her coat with his picture on it?”
I smirk, shaking my head.
“Not likely. Mom is the more practical sort. She’s excited to finally meet her grandson. She’ll want to cuddle him, but she’s not really a ‘baby’ person, so she won’t go round the bend. My sister will, though.”
Nora leans a hip back into the counter. “I never would have guessed with the way she’s texting me almost as much as you do, begging for pictures and videos of him.”
“Astrid’s excited. Sure you don’t want to stick around and meet them?” They already love her, and I’m strangely bummed they won’t get the chance to spend time with her in person.
“Sorry. I would, but I haven’t seen my family since I moved out in June. Next time.” She makes a face. “If they come out again before March.”
When she leaves for Paris.
Ignoring the knot in my gut, I open the fridge and pull out a beer.
“Share one?”
It’s one of those things we’ve started doing here and there, and I don’t know, there’s just something about it I like.
She gets a couple glasses from the cabinet and tilts her head, peering up at me.
“What’s on your mind?”
“You. Your dad. I know Otto is named for him, but not much else.”
I take the glasses and pour. “My dad was the best. Don’t get me wrong, my mom’s amazing. She just had her hands full splitting her attention between trying to keep us alive and her job at the university. My dad worked construction, so at the end of the day, you’d think he’d come home and collapse. But he didn’t really have an off switch. Didn’t want to miss a minute, you know?”
She smiles, and I go on.
“I can still hear him charging in the door after work, pressing a quick kiss to my mom’s cheek and then going back for one more that always made her giggle. He coached my teams when I was a kid. Never missed a game. Had a sixth sense or something about when stuff was bothering us and knew how to get us to talk.”
“Sounds like an amazing man.”
“Yeah, he was my best friend. It was hard to lose him. Unexpected.” I’ll never forget that phone call. The shock. The feeling that the whole world was pulled out from beneath me.
“What happened?”
“Fell off a ladder. Broke his neck.” I take a breath. “It was quick.”
She reaches for my hand, holding it in hers. “I’m sorry.”
I nod, appreciating the sentiment, just standing there for a minute with her. Letting that connection thrum between us. Our eyes meet, and I know I need to let go. Giving her hand a last squeeze, I take the glasses out to the living room and set them on the coffee table alongside a stack of neatly paired baby socks. Except for that one lone ranger. Where the hell?
We sit, Nora sinking into her corner, me into mine. The apartment quiet around us. “I was lucky. I got twenty years with him. My mom used to joke they were like dog years. The way he was always going, he lived seven years for each one a normal person lived. I had so much of him, but damn, what I wouldn’t give to have him to talk to now.”
“What would you ask?”
“How he did it. How he always knew what we needed. How he made us feel so secure, like no matter what went down, we were safe.” Tipping my head back, I close my eyes. “I want that for Otto. I want him to feel like no matter what, he can count on me. But how do I do that when I’ll be gone as much as I’m here?”
“Hey.” She nudges my thigh with her foot, and I crack an eye. “You love him. You give him the best you have, and he’ll know.”
“That simple, huh?”
She’s quiet a moment and then shrugs. “I hope so.”
Nora
“Helloooo, happy holidays,” I call as I close the door behind me and hang my coat.
“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”
I turn to find Axel walking down the hall with Otto tucked in the crook of his arm, and my heart starts to pound, warmth stirring in my belly. I take in their matching bedhead hair, one wearing a T-shirt that hugs every muscle and dip beneath, the other sporting a pair of red footie PJs with a hockey stick print.
“Well, look at you, handsome,” I coo, meeting them and leaning in to give Otto a kiss as his feet kick with glee. Axel’s arm comes around me, his hand solid and warm at my back as he pulls me in for the hug I can’t help but sink into.
Because we hug now.
It’s what friends do.
No big deal.
Except that it’s been three days since I’ve seen these two, and while my heart ached for both of them, my body is reacting to the close proximity of one in a way that is a very big deal.
Friends aren’t supposed to subtly draw in deep, shiver-inducing breaths of each other. Their skin isn’t supposed to spark and hum beneath the most innocuous contact.
Friends aren’t supposed to hope that three days apart will be enough to rein in those rebel crushy feelings that have started taking root.
So much for that.
I take a step back, swallowing as I meet the blue of Axel’s eyes. For a beat, it’s all right there. The kiss, the attraction. And then all the reasons we both know better than to acknowledge any of the above.
Axel blinks, and I’m free.
He gives me one of those grins that are so wide, you want to grin right along with him before you even know what’s behind it.
“Handsome, huh? Well, hello to you too, gorgeous.”
It’s over the top but works to defuse the situation.
“I was talking to your son.”
“Sure, you were. Come on, you don’t have to be embarrassed,” Axel teases, handing me Otto and then picking up my overnight bag. “You missed me. Admit it.”