Which begged the question: what the hell was going on?
Determined to get to the heart of it, he took a deep breath and braced himself for the subject he meant to address. “Mina?”
She turned away from the window and faced him, her cheeks flushing the moment their eyes met. “Yes?”
“I do not wish to cause you discomfort or embarrassment, but I’d like to discuss what occurred between us this morning.”
“Must we?” Apprehension shadowed her words. “It doesn’t change anything.”
Was she truly that naïve? “On the contrary, it changes everything. First and foremost, the way I see you.”
She clenched her jaw and dropped her gaze. Her posture stiffened. “I don’t know why it would when all we did was act on our mutual attraction. Aside from that, I am still the adulteress who shamed her husband. This is what I do, Mr. Dale, and while I’ll admit I liked it better with you than with anyone else, you do not owe me anything, if that’s where this is going.”
Disappointment slashed through him. “Why do you persist in lying to me?”
Her gaze snapped back to his. “What do you mean?”
“If I were to hazard a guess, you’ve only been with one man prior to me – your husband – and not very often, I’ll wager.”
“Mr. Dale, I—”
“You cannot fool me any longer, Mina. I know what it means to have an experienced lover, and you don’t fit the description.” She turned away from him again, forcing her gaze back to the view. “I’m sorry. That’s not a criticism. In fact, I’m immensely glad to know you’re not the person I believed you to be for the past two years. I just wish you would be honest with me.”
“Why?”
“Because I like to think of you as a friend and as such I want to advise you as best as I can, but doing so isn’t easy unless you confide in me.”
She was quiet for a moment before she slowly said, “Thank you. I appreciate the offer, but opening up to you won’t do any good. In fact, the best thing you can do for me is to keep on pretending I am exactly who I say I am.”
He crossed his arms and glared at her. Why was she being so stubborn? A possibility struck – one he did not care for in the least, but at this point it was the only thing that made sense. “He’s blackmailing you somehow. Isn’t he?”
She frowned. Her gaze shifted back to his once more. “Who?”
“Your husband. He clearly wanted to end the marriage, perhaps because of his wish to re-marry, only he had to get rid of you first.”
“Mr. Dale, I—”
He cut her off with a frustrated sigh. “If I am to call you, Mina, then you must call me James in return.”
She stared back at him for a long moment before she finally nodded. “Very well. James.”
A wave of pleasure rolled through him. He felt a smile tug at his lips. “Now, I have to say your husband seemed like a likeable man when I met him, and I sympathized with him during the hearings, but I’m also familiar enough with scoundrels putting on a good show for the courts to know people aren’t always what they seem. So if he has something on you, perhaps I can help.”
He made the suggestion even though his theory didn’t square with the fondness she’d shown while speaking of Mr. Hewitt.
“How?” A genuine hint of curiosity sharpened her eyes. “Suppose you’re right and I am being blackmailed. How would you change public opinion and save my reputation?”
“I’d start by making a case, which would lead to an investigation. Blackmail is a serious offense. As is perjury.”
“Of which he and I would be equally guilty.”
She had him there. Even if she’d been forced into it, surely she could have sought help at some point. Unless she’d been too afraid.
The possibility of any person threatening her, of possibly causing her harm, made James sick to his stomach. Yet he had to ask, “Did your husband strike you, Mina. Is that why you fear him?”
Surprise widened her eyes before fierce intensity took over. “My husband would never lay a hand on anyone. He is the best man I have ever had the honor of knowing and as such he deserves more than I was able to give.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Stop trying to.”
The tortured look in her eyes before she shuttered all emotion was enough to crack his heart wide open. He wanted to cross to her and pull her into his arms, comfort her and bolster her spirits until she righted herself once more. He wanted to know the secrets she kept and help her find a way out of a situation she clearly didn’t deserve. But how?
What could he possibly offer her? Marriage was out of the question and if he suggested she be his mistress, he reckoned she’d tell him to bugger off. He almost smiled at that. Mina was strong and independently minded. She had a property to return to once they were done chasing after their reckless children. And he had his life in London.
An unpleasant feeling presented itself as he thought of their parting ways. Even though Clarington House was close to where she lived, he’d have no reason to see her unless he came with a proposition. And yet, the idea of not having her in his life was like knowing the sun would never rise again. He wanted her, but more than that, he clamored for her in a way that made his soul weep at the prospect of losing her forever.
Because…
James sucked in a breath and held it. He studied her as she sat there, proud and unyielding – determined to win at whatever game it was they were playing. Her love for her daughter was undeniable, her fortitude in the face of adversity indisputable. She stood up to him when he judged her in anger, figured out how to go on when most other women would crumble, she took every insult flung her way, protected a husband who’d clearly wronged her, and worked alongside her servants.
She was a gem of a woman if ever there was one, and while he hated the secrets she kept, he knew they would never threaten the high regard he had for her. Because whatever the truth was, it couldn’t be worse than the lie she’d already told. If anything, he sensed the truth would destroy the very foundation upon which her divorce was built. And she clearly didn’t want that.
James didn’t either. He wanted her to be free he just…wished she would trust him more than she did. It actually shocked him how much he longed for her to lean on him. Maybe if he shared a bit more of himself she would do so?
“I happily bought the story you and your husband sold, perhaps because it was easy for me to relate to him.” He waited for her to glance his way. Once he knew he had her attention he said, “My wife was unfaithful. She was every bit the person you tried to portray, so I hated you for putting your husband through the pain I’d had to endure.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Apparently she was unhappy.” He still couldn’t keep the bitterness from his voice after all these years. “The lifestyle I chose for myself did not live up to her high expectations.”
“Did she not realize you wanted to have a career?”
“Of course she did, but she thought she could change my mind. She believed she could convince me to buy a grander house and get my father to issue a large allowance.”
Mrs. Lawson snorted. “Then she was a fool.”