James huffed a breath and swiped his palm across his jaw. His lip felt swollen, his knuckles raw, and there was a very uncomfortable pain in his knee from when he’d landed on the ground. “I’m too bloody old for this nonsense.”
“Come,” Wilhelmina said. She took him by the arm and placed one hand at his back to nudge him forward. “We ought to get you inside as well so we can tend to those wounds.”
“Not with him in there,” James protested.
She flattened her mouth and gave him a don’t-be-so-impossible look. “You’ve a nasty cut on your lip that needs cleaning. The same can be said for those knuckles. So let’s go. We’ll find a spot at the opposite side of the taproom from where that prick is sitting.”
An involuntary grin pulled at James’s mouth. He winced and cut a look at Wilhelmina. “Prick eh?”
“No sense in pretending he’s anything less.”
She did have a point, and as such, James very much feared the duke would find a way to retaliate, if for no other reason than to assert his superiority.
17
Wilhelmina was immensely relieved when she found the taproom devoid of Cloverfield and his cohorts. They must have returned upstairs to the rooms they’d spent the night in.
“I’ll ask for a bowl of warm water and a washcloth,” Cynthia said.
“And I’ll make sure you receive a tall glass of brandy,” Michael added.
He disappeared after Cynthia, leaving Wilhelmina and James to find a table. They agreed on one that stood in a corner. She pulled out a chair and sat while he did the same, selecting the chair directly beside hers. Their knees bumped together as he twisted toward her.
“Mina…” He sought her hand beneath the table. Warm and sturdy fingers clasped hers. A troubled look dulled his eyes beneath the deep grooves of a frown. “Is it foolish of me to wish we hadn’t found them just yet?”
She shook her head. “No.”
His thumb stroked over her knuckles. “I wanted another night with you.”
Heat stole into her cheeks. She glanced toward the back of the taproom where their children presently chatted with one of the barmen. “We knew our alliance would be brief from the very beginning.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m ready for it to end.”
His whispered words, wrought with desperation, forced her gaze back to his. Her heart ached on account of the loss she knew she would soon be forced to endure. “It has to though, and it will. Especially since they’ve decided not to marry after all.” When his frown deepened she said, “They were planning to return to Renwick when we showed up. We can travel back together of course, but…”
“It won’t be the same,” he muttered and closed his eyes as if in pain.
Wilhelmina wasn’t sure she understood him. He’d gotten what he wanted. His son would not be marrying Cynthia. There would be no shameful family connection to ruin his or Michael’s reputation. And while they might have given in to desire, she doubted it had affected him as deeply as it affected her. How could it when he’d been with other women before?
She would never regret giving herself to him as brazenly as she had. He’d given her a beautiful gift by replacing the awful experience she’d once endured with one that filled her heart with warmth. It had, as it turned out, been her only chance, and she’d hold on to that shared moment for the rest of her life.
“Days, weeks, and months will pass,” she told him without quite managing to keep her voice as strong or steady as she’d hoped. “You will return to London, go back to work, and this will gradually become a distant memory.”
He stared at her as if she were mad, but rather than argue he said, “Please tell me the truth.”
She knew what he asked of her. He’d already figured out more than she had intended about her, but to tell him more could prove disastrous. Thankfully, she was saved from having to answer him by Cynthia, who placed a bowl on the table. Wilhelmina hastily withdrew her hand from James’s and took the washcloth her daughter held toward her.
“Are you going to tell me what happened between you and Mr. Dale?” Cynthia asked Wilhelmina later once they’d left the inn and were heading south.
Mother and daughter shared the carriage while the men rode outside, increasing the strain on Wilhelmina’s heart. She missed James already and was half-tempted to glance out the window in order to make sure he was still there. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Cynthia raised both eyebrows. “He addressed you by the shortened form of your Christian name, which I’ve only ever heard George do.”
Wilhelmina sighed. “We agreed to a truce.”
“I…see.” There was a brief moment of silence before Cynthia asked, “Have you kissed him?”
“Cynthia!”
“Well, it is a fair question considering how he was looking at you.”
Perplexed, Wilhelmina frowned. “And how would that be?”
“Like this.” Cynthia tilted her chin a little and matched the expression of a puppy in desperate need of affection.
Wilhelmina rolled her eyes. “Don’t be absurd.”
“And you regarded him in much the same way, which is quite a departure from the unhappy faces you used to wear in each other’s company.”
The thoughtfulness with which Cynthia spoke put Wilhelmina on edge. She had no wish to discuss this – had no desire whatsoever to be reminded of how happy she had been while travelling north with no one but James for company. “You’ve clearly taken leave of your senses.”
“Do you love him?”
“What?” The question came so abruptly it felt like a punch to the stomach. Wilhelmina gaped at her daughter. Inquisitive eyes stared back in expectation. “I…I…I…”
Cynthia chuckled. “I gather that’s a yes then?”
Wilhelmina was not about to admit any such thing. “Let’s talk about something else, like you and Michael, and all the trouble you’ve caused.”
“Have you told Mr. Dale the truth?” Cynthia persisted, ignoring her completely.
Wilhelmina crossed her arms and looked out the window. Clouds blocked the sun, casting dark shadows across the landscape to match her mood. “No.”
“Perhaps you should.”
“Why? So he can despise me for the right reason instead?” When Cynthia looked unconvinced Wilhelmina said, “He knows I’m not the adulteress I claimed to be, but he has given me no reason to think he won’t resent me if he learns how far I have gone to deceive everyone. Mr. Dale is on the law’s side, and I bent that law to my will until it broke. However good my intentions may have been, George and I got away with something we shouldn’t have because we lied. What if people find out? What if the consequence of our true actions makes everything worse? I could go to prison, Cynthia. The divorce could be reversed and George’s marriage to Fiona annulled, the children they have, made illegitimate. I’ll not risk that.”
“Surely that’s not possible,” Cynthia said.
“Perhaps not, but what if it is?” Wilhelmina shook her head. She and James hadn’t stood a chance of finding happiness together. In light of his recent deductions, it was probably good they’d been denied more time alone.