“Sounds about right. You did like your drugs.”
“Pot. It was pot, Mom, and what teenager do you know that isn’t smoking weed?”
“I’d prefer you not call me that.”
Devyn heads for the door. “This is pointless. We should go.”
“I agree,” Roseanne says, blowing out smoke. “If Ed knew you were here, he’d probably call the police.”
Devyn looks at the pictures on the wall once more. “You really shouldn’t smoke in the house. It’s bad for Julianne, and I’d hate for anything to happen to her.”
Roseanne laughs. “One of my kids is dead and the other is a criminal. How much worse could it get?”
I escort Devyn the rest of the way out. Roseanne stands in the doorway to the kitchen.
Before we leave, Devyn turns. “At least I’ve learned from my mistakes.” She glances at the drink and cigarette in her mother’s hands. “It’s too bad you haven’t learned from yours. Goodbye, Roseanne.”
Roseanne strides down the hallway and slams the door after us.
Devyn breaks away from me and runs to the bushes to throw up. I rush over and hold back her hair.
“I’m okay. I just need water.”
“I’ve got a bottle in the truck.”
We sit in the driveway for a minute while she drinks. She laughs sadly. “Didn’t go exactly how you’d planned, did it? I told you she wouldn’t forgive me.”
“You think this was about her forgiving you? Didn’t you listen to what Mrs. Marshall said? You don’t need your mother to forgive you, Dev.”
“Then why did you even bring me here?”
“Because there’s a process to learning to accept yourself. Tying up loose ends is part of that process. Maybe then you can finally forgive yourself. If you do, you’ll find what you’re looking for.”
“What’s that?”
“Peace.”
She looks at the house. “Coming here was hardly peaceful.”
“Maybe not, but it was necessary.”
I back out of the driveway. When we exit the neighborhood, I turn in the opposite direction from home.
“Where are we going now? I’m not in the mood for food.”
“We’re not going to lunch.”
“Then where?”
“You’ll see.”
“Aaron, just tell me.”
“This is the last time I’ll do this. I promise.”
Twenty minutes later, I pull into a cemetery. Her face softens. “You’re going to see Cameron?”
If I can get her there, it might make all the difference.
I park, and we get out. She hooks an arm around my elbow, thinking she’s supporting me. I hope she doesn’t hate me when she finds out it’s the other way around.
We swerve between graves until I find it, then stop. “Not Cameron.”
Devyn sees Kasey’s name and drops to her knees. She places her palms on the headstone and sobs. I’ve never seen her like this, heaving and hiccupping. I want to put my arms around her, but she has to go through this. She talks to Kasey, telling her how much she loves her and how sorry she is. When she finally calms, I join her on the ground and take her in my arms.
“I wanted to come see her after my release, but I didn’t know where she was. They didn’t let me go to the funeral. I didn’t know how to find her. How did you?”
“The—”
“Internet is an incredible thing,” she says.
We’re suddenly laughing. Her mascara is smeared, her eyes are puffy, but she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.
“I apologize. I didn’t mean to interrupt,” a woman to our right says.
We get up. “You’re not,” I say.
She’s standing on the grave next to Kasey’s. “Is she your daughter?”
Devyn shakes her head. “Sister.”
The woman looks at the other gravestone. “Timmy’s my son.”
Both of us read the words on the marker. He was only three when he died. He’s been gone about four months. “I’m so sorry,” I say.
“The first time I was here after the funeral, I saw Kasey’s grave. It’s silly, I know, but somehow I feel like she’s with him, protecting him, being a big sister to him. I imagine them playing hide-and-seek.”
Devyn smiles sadly. “Kasey loved hide-and-seek.”
“So did Timmy. I’m Janice, by the way.”
“Devyn,” she says. “And this is Aaron.”
“Will you tell me about Kasey? What does she look like? How did she act? I mean, if it’s not too hard for you. I’d like to put a face and a personality to her.”
Devyn looks at Kasey’s grave and starts talking. “She had blonde hair. It was super curly, and it bounced when she ran. Sometimes I’d twist her curls with my fingers. She loved it when I played with her hair. Her eyes were brown, not dark like chocolate but light like sand. She loved video games. She sometimes crawled into bed with me at night, and we’d play them. I was a teenager then, but she was my best friend, even though I was fourteen years older than her.” Devyn smiles. “She squealed when she was happy, like if she saw a butterfly or a puppy licked her face. I swear I can still hear that sound. Oh, and she loved mashed potatoes. She had to have them with everything, even hamburgers.”
Janice steps over and hugs Devyn. “Thank you. You have no idea what that means to me.”
Devyn says to me, “I’m ready to go now.” We’re a few steps away when she glances back. “Why did you put that there?” she asks Janice.
A Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup is on Timmy’s gravestone.
“In my dream, he said he wanted one. That’s strange, because he never liked peanut butter.”
Tears stream from Devyn’s eyes. “Those were Kasey’s favorite candy.”
“Oh my god,” Janice says, her voice cracking.
The women stride toward each other, embrace, and cry. But for the first time today, Devyn’s tears might be tears of happiness.
Chapter Thirty-four
Devyn
“Great job today, Devyn,” Mickey says. “Really top notch.”
“I’ve got a great teacher.”
“Same time tomorrow?”
“There are guests coming to the lodge today. I’ll have to clean when they’re out with Luca in the morning. Can I squeeze in an hour or so in the afternoon?”
“Sure. Come find me.” He starts to leave, then stops. “Don’t get too attached to your job at the lodge. I have my eye on you as an assistant trainer. Won’t be long before you’re qualified.”
Excitement courses through me. “Are you serious?”
He winks and walks away.
Aaron swears Maddox and his dad won’t have an issue with my record. Although I’m terrified of anyone finding out about me, it’s bound to happen sooner or later, and I’ll need a job that pays actual money.
“Hey, Devyn,” Owen says, exiting one of the stables. “If you’re not busy, there’s something back here you might want to see.”