"Thank you." I suspect it's not an offer that's made often, if ever. "Something tells me we'll be seeing each other soon."
"Have Faith," he says.
Then, a hard jolt shifts through my body, and I awaken with a gasp, sucking in deep lungfuls of air. I'm no longer in a starless void, I realize. I'm in my room in Chandrilhar. I'm in bed. I touch the stitches between my breasts.
I'm still the living dead.
"Carly?" Kassam calls my voice from across the room, and I look over at him. His normally laughing face seems to be lined with worry, and he brushes an eagle off his shoulder and gets to his feet. "What's wrong?"
I scrub a hand over my face, fighting the urge to cry. "Nothing. It's okay." I know if I explain to him that I just had a dream in which I talked with Death, he'd understand it. Hell, he'd probably ask me to send a message along to an old pal the next time I sleep. If anyone would get it, it's Kassam. But I don't want to tell him about what Death said to me. That I'm risking my life if I stay, because my thread might be too frayed for me to recover from. Kassam would bluster and insist I go home. That he'd figure it out somehow without me.
He'd be lying. He needs me at his side. Needs me to support this quest for vengeance. It's not about Seth, or about a pissing war for a spot amongst the gods. It's about a thousand years of pain, of being forgotten, and how that's the worst thing that can be done to someone who relies on the worship of others. It's about making sure that Riekki doesn't do that to anyone else. It's about making sure Kassam returns to his rightful spot amongst the heavens, for the people that have waited so long for him to return.
It's more than one silly mortal life, even if it is mine.
"Are you well, little light?" Kassam asks, holding a hand out to me. At his side, one of the conmac sits up, giving me another one of those watchful stares.
"Can I have a hug?" I ask hoarsely, getting to my feet and moving toward him.
He pulls me forward, tugging me into his arms and seating me on his lap. His big arms go around me and I lean against him, and the urge to cry fades slowly. Strangely enough, I feel like I'm home.
43
It feels as if the entire city has decided to send us off at the crack of dawn. I'm surprised when we emerge from the palace with trunks of supplies, only to be greeted by the cheering of a thousand voices. People crowd the streets, crying out Kassam's name, and he waves at them. I half-expect him to surge forward and hang out with the crowd, but instead, he moves closer to me, tucking my cloak carefully around my face. "Can you walk, little light?"
I nod, holding onto his arm. It's weird—I feel as strong as ever, but…hollow. Brittle. Like a strong gust of wind will blow me away. It's almost like my body has turned into a house of cards, ready to topple at any moment. I still haven't eaten, or slept, and though my mouth is dry, I'm not thirsty, either.
I also haven't felt the pull of Kassam's hedonism. That worries me more than eating or drinking. Does that mean our bond is severed? Or is it just muted? I decide it must be muted, since Kassam is still here.
The people closest to us bow and cry when Kassam passes by, and people grab at my cloak, trying to pull me away from him. Kassam growls protectively and tucks me behind him. "No one touches Carly but me!" There's a wild-eyed look on his face. "Stay back! All of you!"
"It's okay," I tell him, touching his arm. "Really, Kassam. They're just excited."
"I will not put you in danger again," he seethes. "Where are the conmac? Why are they not guarding you?" He glares at our surroundings as if the magic wolves are somehow to blame for things. "What purpose do they serve if not to guard you when you are vulnerable?"
He roars the last, and I worry that he's backsliding. All those lessons the High Father sent him to the mortal realm to learn are going to vanish in the wind because he's feeling protective of me. I need to nip this in the bud, so I move in front of him and place my (alarmingly cold) hands on his cheeks. "Kassam. Calm down. Deep breaths. The conmac are here, okay? I'm here. No one's going to harm me. We're just heading for your army." I keep my voice smooth and sweet. "Deep breaths, my husband. You want to wear your game face when you see Seth, don't you?"
Like a petulant child, Kassam clenches his jaw, his nostrils flaring. He leans in to me, muttering, "I want to wear Seth's face. I want to rip it off his smug, lying head and wear it like a trophy."
"Let's put a pin in that for now." Threatening violence against the man that stabbed me should not be nearly as sexy as it is, but damn. It revs my stalled engine, all right. I straighten the ornate green traveling cloak he's wearing (a gift from the vizier) and smile up at him. "We're going to wave to people, and smile, and we're going to mount the meanest-looking griffin and head off to find the goddess. If Seth approaches us, we'll work with him, but we won't trust him. Understand? We're in control here."
"I will not have you hurt again," Kassam grits, tugging me against his chest. "The thought tears me apart."
In the end, the conmac come to the rescue. They surge forward, two dozen of the shadow wolves appearing from the midst of the crowd, and it makes me wonder if they have some sort of magic to make them unnoticed until they choose to be noticed. The sight of them makes people scatter with shrieks of alarm, and they file in close around Kassam and myself, establishing themselves as guards. In this manner, we're able to go through the rest of the city out to the walls, the retainers with our supplies following close behind.
Before we even get outside the city, I can see a mass of people waiting outside the walls, dressed in white cloaks and carrying shields. Seth's army is there to greet us, and at the front of the ranks of men sits the hated asshole himself, atop a silks-draped palanquin on the back of one of the large land-hippos. It's surrounded by cloaked women and armed soldiers, and I don't see Margo anywhere as I scan faces, looking for her desperately. He has to keep her with him, right? Those are the rules and—
I almost miss the tiny wave one of the cloaked women gives me. She pulls back her hood just long enough to let me see her face and then drops it again. Margo. She looks like she's having fun, at least, and had a smile on her face. Ten bucks says Seth didn't tell her about him trying to kill my ass.
The god rides forward slowly on his palanquin, clutching the arms of his throne.
The moment we come into sight, Kassam's animal army starts screaming and howling, drowning out anything Seth might have said. I love that annoyance flicks over his face, and I squeeze Kassam's arm to remind him that we need to play this cool. That we wait to claim our revenge. Seth has showed his hand already. We know he can't be trusted. And right now, he needs us. So we wait.
Kassam shoots a dismissive look to Seth as he rides forward, and ignores the god's upraised hand, as if he wishes to speak to us. The howling of the animal army continues, and Kassam ushers me toward the fiercest, meanest, largest griffin who waits near the walls for us. He helps me climb aboard the creature's back, and I give the feathers a pat. I tense a little as Seth continues to approach, half expecting Kassam to turn and attack him. Instead, the god of the wild seats himself behind me and whistles at the griffin, who lurches into action.