Kassam looks incredulous. "There is no 'normal' without you, my little light. My normal is in your arms. My normal is hearing your sweet voice. My normal is laughing with you, spending time with you, learning from you. I do not want to go on to a different normal. If they take you from me, I will no longer have a normal. There will only be sadness. There will only be loss, and I will be nothing once more."
"That's not true—"
"You are my wife," he says in the most gentle, most heartbreaking voice imaginable. "My love. My little light. And I promised to protect and keep you, just as you promised the same to me. So I am not going to let you leave me, my Carly. You made a vow."
I sob, holding his hands tightly. "I don't want to leave you. But there's no choice—"
"There is always a choice," he tells me, an intense look in his silver eyes. "Just because it is not an obvious path does not mean it is not there." He leans in and kisses the tip of my nose. "Trust me to fix this?"
"My thread—"
"Trust me?" he asks in a hushed voice. "Please?"
I nod. Surely he knows at this point I'd give him anything he asked?
Kassam smiles, a look of relief on his face. He kisses my nose again and then turns toward the Spidae. "You will not bind her thread at my side?"
The Spidae looks icy with disdain. "As my brother has already told you, it is impossible. Her thread is too frayed, too destroyed by the fact that she has died twice now in your care. Let her go, or you risk damaging her thread further."
"It can be repaired," Kassam says, a stubborn expression on his face.
Neska looks ready to spit nails. "Only the High Father—"
"Then we will wait for the High Father," Kassam says immediately. "Send word to him. I know you can. You are his favorites." He scoops me into his arms, bridal-carry style, and calls over his shoulder, "My wife will be waiting in my chambers with me. You are not to approach her alone ever again, or you will face my wrath."
My eyes go wide as I stare up at Kassam. I've never heard his voice so hard and so flat. He breezes past the singing, shimmering threads and out of the chamber, passing another Spidae who looks on with an equally displeased expression as my husband carries me away. As we head down the ramp and away from the Spidae, I touch Kassam's chest, worried. "Should you be pissing them off?"
"They will not test me," he says, all cheer once more. "If they do, they will find their lands full of biting flies and the smelliest of skunks. I will fill their lands full of nettles and bees." He gives me a sly look. "Or even better—I will drain their forbidding lake and make this such a verdant, enticing place that mankind will show up on their doorstep."
"They do look like they'd hate that," I admit. "But…Kassam, love, what if he's right? What if my thread is too broken?" I bite my lip, hating that I have to confess it all. "Death approached me in a dream and told me if I stayed to help you get your vengeance, I'd be screwing myself over."
"And yet you stayed," he says softly, "Because you wanted to finish something. My sweet Carly."
"I stayed because I love you," I correct. "I didn't want to give Riekki the opportunity to hurt you again, so I stayed."
"You gave much for me, and I will do the same for you," he promises. "Trust me." He sweeps aside a curtain and we're in our room again. Kassam marches over to the bed, and before I can wonder what he's thinking, he settles me onto my back and flips my skirts up. He claims my mouth in a hungry kiss and settles between my parted thighs. "My Carly. My love. I will not let this be our ending."
And yet when we make love, it's with a fierce desperation, as if he's not entirely sure he believes his own words.
55
I lie in bed with Kassam atop me, my legs wrapped around him. He's still seated in my body and hasn't moved from our fierce fucking some time ago, and we just…cuddle and touch. I run my hands over his back, tracing his muscles and relishing the feel of his weight atop me. He presses lazy kisses to my neck and my jaw, and I love this position because I can feel his every breath. His heart doesn't beat, but that's all right, because mine doesn't, either. His long hair tickles against my fingers, and I draw tiny circles on his butt as he shifts his weight over me, murmuring my name.
"Am I too heavy?" he asks at one point.
"Never." I make another tiny circle with a fingertip, right over the spot I imagine his butt is dimpled. I can't see them, but I know there are dimples there. "If you move, I'm going to be very upset with you."
"Can't have that," he teases, nipping at my ear. "My sweet, lovely Carly. My little light. What if we stay like this forever?"
I'd been thinking the same thing, and hearing it makes me smile. "I mean, there might be some chafing at some point, but I'm game if you are."
"I'd lick your chafed parts for you," Kassam murmurs between kisses. "Rest assured that I'd keep you good and lubricated."
My smile widens. I know we're stealing moments before everything falls down around our ears, but that's one of the things I love most about Kassam—that even in the darkest moments, he makes me smile and forget about all the terrible things in the world. It sounds like there is an afterlife (I did meet Death, after all) so I want to take these memories with me when I'm parted from Kassam. Until that moment comes, I'm going to spend every blink just drinking it all in. I dig my heel into the back of one thigh, squeezing my inner walls around him, and I'm rewarded with a gasp from Kassam and a full body twitch that I feel deep inside.
I give a little wriggle, just about to ask for another round…when I pause. It feels like someone's watching us.
I go still, because surely the Spidae would grasp the meaning of privacy, right? They have curtains over every door, after all. I peer over Kassam's shoulder—
And make eye contact with a stranger.
I yelp, squeezing Kassam again and making him groan when I stiffen. He surges into me with a rakish grin, grabbing my hips. "You're insatiable, my little light."
My hand goes over his mouth and I squirm underneath him, trying to get free. "Someone's here!"
Did I think that was going to deter Kassam? This is the same man that flipped my skirt up and fucked me in front of Seth. I should know better. He only pumps into me again, rearing back before dragging his cock slowly in once more, seating himself to the hilt. "This is all part of my plan, you see," Kassam murmurs. "He will not take you from me while I am balls deep inside you."
I screech in horror, pounding a hand on Kassam's back. "Get off me, you oaf!"
"I thought you were game for staying like this forever?" He nips at my jaw, one hand sliding up to cup my breast.
"That was before someone came in to watch!"
Kassam chuckles, his breath warm against my skin. "You think the High Father has not seen fucking before?"
That's the High Father? I peer over Kassam's broad shoulder again, trying to concentrate as he drives into me again. The person watching us is…young. Horrifyingly young. I hammer a fist on Kassam's shoulder, because he should absolutely not be making love to me in front of someone with that young a face. "Please," I wheeze, and I have to specify when he flicks my nipple, teasing it erect. "Stop now. Stop. Cover—"