"You are foiling my plans," Kassam murmurs between kisses.
"She is shy," the newcomer says. "If this makes her uncomfortable, I can go."
Go?! He can't go. We need to talk to him. "Kassam—"
With a sigh, Kassam turns his head. "Promise you won't take her if I get off her, Father?"
The young person—god—behind us chuckles, the sound hollow and ancient and young all at the same time, like voices layered over each other. "I promise. Let her relax so we can all talk, my son. And stand up so your father can look upon you. It has been some time."
Kassam presses one last fierce kiss to my mouth, winks, and then climbs off. I quickly fix my skirts, my face burning with embarrassment as I sit up on the bed and try to smooth my sex-snarled hair. God, my nipples are like beacons against the front of my dress, and I'm pretty sure my skirt is wrinkled and stained and my face is scratched from Kassam's beard stubble and this is not how I should greet a god that is my husband's father.
But if I'm all awkward shyness, Kassam is not. He gets up from the bed, naked and sweaty and sticky, and crosses the floor to drop to one knee in front of the stranger. "My father," he says, and his voice is full of emotion.
The High Father gazes down at Kassam, his expression fond, and he touches his cheek. I can't help but stare. I pictured the High Father as something a bit more like the Christian version of God—an old dude with a long white beard, and possibly some angel wings. Maybe a harp. This boy—and I only say boy because they refer to him as the High Father—is sweetly androgynous, with a cap of thick curls that are a shade between blonde and brown. His skin is the same warm bronze that Kassam's is, and his eyes are a thick, rich brown with long lashes, his mouth soft. He wears a simple tunic belted at his waist and is barefoot, his frame slight and feminine. He also looks as if he's ten years old, max.
It's jarring.
Those deep brown eyes turn to me, though, and my throat closes. I want to suddenly sink to my knees in front of him as well, because those eyes are…ageless. They are deep and full of both sorrow and joy, and looking at him like this, I realize his form is just a trapping for the powerful god underneath. He's making himself sweet and harmless, but something tells me that the actual being is neither. He's old and powerful and so, so strong that my skin prickles in his presence.
I sink to the floor and bow my head, because it feels important to acknowledge him.
"I'm not here for you to bow and scrape," the High Father says in that soft, mellifluous voice of his. He touches Kassam's broken horn, an amused expression curving that youthful, full mouth. "I came to see my son, and to hear his request. What is it you require, my son of sunshine and joy?"
Kassam closes his eyes, basking in the presence of the High Father. He looks blissful, like he does when…well, it seems a little blasphemous to think of that right now. I give myself a mental shake. "I have a favor to ask of you, my father. I have taken a wife."
"This woman," the High Father agrees, gazing over at me again with vague interest.
"Yes," Kassam continues. "She has been a good, loyal partner and an excellent anchor. She's made me see new things, and brought her wisdom to me, even when I didn't want it. And when her life was being ruined, she still supported me and was a good wife. So I wish to be a good husband to her." He swallows hard and glances back at me, then turns to the High Father once more. "I promised Carly that we would be together after the Anticipation. The Spidae say that her thread is too frayed for her to move into this world and remain at my side…so I wish to join her in her world. I need you to make me mortal and to send us both back there, my father."
"Wait, what?" I yelp, horrified at what I'm hearing. "Kassam, what the fuck?"
"Can you do it, my father?" Kassam gazes calmly at the High Father. "For me?"
"It is an enormous change," the High Father says, and he touches Kassam's cheek. The look on his face is both knowing and sad, as if he expected this. "You are certain this is what you want?"
I scramble forward, determined to slap a hand over Kassam's mouth before he can answer. "He's not certain," I blurt out. "He's not certain at all, and we need to talk about this."
Kassam looks over at me as I wedge myself in between him and the High Father. Is it a good idea to push in front of a god? Probably not but I'm doing it anyhow, because Kassam can't do this. "Carly," he says, clasping my hands in his, a gentle smile on his face. "It will be all right. You said you trusted me, yes? Give me that trust now and let me do this."
"No, Kassam," I say again, shaking my head. "I'm not going to let you do this. You've dreamed of going back to your forest. This is what you fought for. This is what you've struggled for. And you're needed. Look at how excited everyone was to see you when we approached Chandrilhar. When we traveled to Hrit Svala. They weren't like that for Seth. They wouldn't be like that for Riekki. People love you. They need you."
"But I need you," he says simply, and presses kisses to my knuckles. "I made a vow to you, and I want to keep it."
I grip his hands tightly, wanting to smack him with them and kiss him at the same time. "You made a vow to the conmac, too." That makes him hesitate, and I press on. "Think of all the good you can do when you're restored, Kassam. You don't need me—"
The stubbornness returns to his face. "That is where you are wrong, my wife. I do need you. You have taught me things. Things like grief and regret." He places my hands over his heart. "Things I am feeling right now, and I do not like them. I want to go with you, Carly. Because I cannot lose you. I do not want to spend an eternity of regret without you. I would rather spend a few decades at your side in happiness."
"You big idiot," I say, even as I sob and throw my arms around his neck. "Don't do this."
"I love you, my little light," he says, hugging me tightly. "You have been at my side through all of this. Let me be there for you, as well." He strokes my hair. "It will be all right. No matter what happens, as long as we are together, I am content."
"You're lying," I say, sniffing hard and leaning back to search his face. "You need to return to godhood. You're good at it. And now you'll be even better. You don't need me." At his stubborn expression, I turn to the High Father, who is watching us with those sad, dark eyes. "He's lying. Don't let him do this. He's amazing at his job and you need him."
The High Father turns his gaze toward Kassam. "Do I need to find a new god of the wild?"
Kassam's hands tighten on me. "The Spidae say they cannot keep Carly with me if I ascend once more. That we will be separated for all time if they interfere. I do not want that. I want to be with her." He holds me against his chest, practically squeezing me. "She has taught me about so many things, but mostly how to be a better, more thoughtful god. How to really pay attention to those that ask for assistance, instead of simply chasing after my own pleasures. I have been learning with her at my side, and Carly is my conscience. If she cannot stay with me…I worry I will turn into Riekki…or Seth."