Tanner was not average. Oh, no. No, no. He was well above average.
And, once again, I hated that my high school friends had seen that package stuffed into tiny briefs or whatever the hell he’d worn while stripping.
I hated myself a little bit again that I had missed it. But I wasn’t missing it now.
He gripped the base of his cock and pumped once, twice.
“You look so wide-eyed. You’re giving me the best compliment.”
“You don’t need a bigger head, do you?” I asked and then blinked before we both burst out laughing.
“Well, then. I don’t usually laugh during sex. I kind of like it.”
Then he was over me again, kissing me hard. His hands were on my breasts, between my legs, bringing me nearly to orgasm again before placing himself at my entrance and looking down at me. “Ready?” he asked. I swallowed hard and nodded.
“Yes.”
He tangled his fingers of one hand with mine and used the other to guide himself into me. He was big, far too big, but it didn’t matter. I stretched, I burned, and everything hurt for a second. I moaned, and he worked my clit with his fingers as he kissed me hard again, easing his way slowly in and out of me. An inch in, and then back again. He slowly repeated the process until he was seated deep inside of me, and both of us were shaking and sweat-slick. I couldn’t breathe.
“So fucking tight, princess. I’m going to come right now.”
“Move,” I whispered, feeling so full I couldn’t even think. Everything hurt, and yet I was right on the edge of something blissful. I knew it. If he just moved, everything would make sense, and I would be able to breathe again. I would be able to do something.
Tanner pulled back slightly, and I groaned, gripping him.
He met my gaze, something passing over his eyes that I couldn’t read, and then he moved.
It took me a moment to find a rhythm, to figure out what I was supposed to do, but I moved with him, needing him, arching for him.
He was so gentle, so sweet. Until he wasn’t. And then he pounded into me. But it didn’t hurt anymore. I was so close, so needy. When I finally came, he groaned my name into my ear, not princess, and shuddered above me. Then he rolled to his side as both of us came down.
It wasn’t until he brushed my cheek with his thumb, his gaze piercing mine, that I realized I was crying.
His eyes went blank, and he snarled. “What the hell, Natalie? Don’t tell me you were a fucking virgin.”
Four
Tanner
The silence was deafening. I looked down at Natalie, and guilt, shame, and rage warred within me.
She frowned, and I cursed under my breath before sliding out of her, hating that just the friction against my dick made me hard again.
I got up, took care of the condom, and let out a breath.
She had to have been a virgin. In the back of my mind, I had known that, hadn’t I? Hadn’t I heard her talking with the others about it? Or maybe it had been Corinne, the friend we had lost last year. I couldn’t remember. Still, it felt as if it were coming to the forefront now.
I was such a fucking idiot.
I’d just had sex with a virgin. Hard sex. And, yes, I’d made her come, but I hadn’t been gentle. Someone’s first moment should be memorable and sweet.
It didn’t need to be a hard fuck in the afternoon with a somewhat friend. Someone with which there could be no future.
I quickly looked under her sink for a hand towel, picked one, ran it under some warm water, and went out to the bedroom. She sat at the edge of the bed, working to put her bra back on. I couldn’t help but look at her beauty. Her long, blond hair floated around her, the waves natural, but I knew she also used a heating tool of some sort in the mornings. She looked a little ragged around the edges, and that was all on me. She had been sweet and contained when she showed up earlier, and I had ruined all of that.
It seemed I was good at ruining a lot of fucking things these days.
Natalie was all curves set in a compact frame. She was gorgeous, sinful, and yet innocent. Although not quite so innocent anymore since I had ruined that.
Anger filled me, but not at her. Never at her.
I stomped over to her. She looked up at me, her throat working as she swallowed hard.
I was still naked, my cock hardening again at just the sight of her, and I didn’t care.
“Let me help clean you up,” I growled. She frowned at me. “Of course, you wouldn’t know what happens next.”
“Stop getting angry with me,” she ordered. “I know what I’m supposed to do. I have friends.”
She snatched the towel from me, and I grabbed it right back. “At least let me take care of you, goddamn it.”
My gaze was on hers as I slid the towel between her legs. It was an intimate gesture. Something I wasn’t prepared for. Her mouth parted. “Feel okay?” I whispered.
“I…thank you.” Her voice was soft, and I hated myself again.
I swallowed hard, backed up, and then bent to pick up my jeans. She grabbed her dress and scurried to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. I knew I should leave. Just go so we didn’t have to talk about it. However, that was the coward’s way out. And while I was many things, I wasn’t a coward.
At least, I hoped I wasn’t.
I pulled my shirt back on and sat on her desk chair to slide my feet into my boots. She returned, this time in cute sweats and a T-shirt, though I had to wonder where she’d gotten the clothes.
She noticed my frown, and a blush crept over those cheeks of hers.
“I had a pile of clothes in there. I have some work to do, and I would rather be comfortable than in that dress.”
“Ah.”
“Since you asked, yes, I was a virgin. I’ve had sex with myself before, of course. I’ve had orgasms and even used toys, so you weren’t the first penetration I’ve ever had.”
My eyes widened at the clinical nature of her words, but as I looked up at her face, her chin rose, and I saw the nervousness there.
“Good to know, but you still should have told me.”
“Why?”
“Because I was your first. Now I’m the fucking asshole who took your virginity without even knowing. I fucked you hard into a bed, Natalie. It shouldn’t have been me.”
She narrowed her eyes and let out a slight snarl. It was damn cute, and I did my best to ignore it. “Virginity and virtue are a construct created by man to subjugate women.”
I blinked. “That’s what you’re going with?”
“That’s exactly what I’m going with. Yes, you were the first person I had sex with. Other than myself. I guess I could say I took my virginity depending on how you want to think about it.”
Hell, it was going to be so fucking hard not to fall in love with her. When Hagens fell, they fell hard and fast. But I couldn’t let it be her. I wasn’t good for her. “Stop getting into fucking semantics.”
“I don’t know what you want from me. In this case, virginity is all about semantics.”
I wanted a whole hell of a lot, but I didn’t say that. “Why me?”
“Why not you, Tanner?”
“I’m a jerk to you. We’re barely friends.”