“Thought I recognized the name. Lindsey’s Texan. Her family told us about the scandal when they investigated the compound there. The families of the kidnapped women were pissed off and creating a ruckus.”
As they crossed the tarmac, deVries glanced at Hawk. “Seems like you’re surrendering without giving the woman a vote. You can’t win a battle if you don’t step onto the field.”
Before Hawk could answer, deVries shook his head. “Let’s get you stitched up and get headed home.”
The Hermitage was a quiet place when Kit walked out onto Bull’s deck. Behind her, at the kitchen island, Frankie was talking on the phone with her mother in New York.
Earlier, Bull, Caz, Aric, and Regan had left with a batch of groceries for an off-the-grid woman who was home after a heart attack. Although, someday, she’d have to live with her daughter down in Iowa. For now, the woman was stubbornly staying in her cabin. The guys planned to do some chores while the children helped put the groceries away.
JJ was at the police station, Audrey at the library, and Gabe was probably still asleep. He’d worked late last night when some drunken tourists rampaged through downtown after the bar closed.
Taking a seat on the deck, Kit gave the railing planters a satisfied smile. A while back, she’d switched out the faded spring pansies for bright red geraniums.
Next door, blooming petunias filled the hip-high planters she’d helped Audrey buy for Gabe’s deck. The flowers matched his gray-blue shutters.
At the other end of the semi-circle, Mako’s entire deck was awash with the autumn pansies she’d been growing to give away. Over the past month, she’d painted the inexpensive pots and macraméd the hangers. Everything was ready now.
The tiny pot at one end was Aric’s. Her son had carefully transplanted the purple pansy with his own two hands.
He made her so proud.
And flowers made her so happy—especially the old classics like geraniums, daisies, and petunias.
No matter where a person was, there was always room for flowers. Her gaze ran over the courtyard in assessment. Really, the patio around the grill called out for some flowerbeds or planters to liven up the space.
And down by the dock. Wouldn’t it be…
No, bad Kit.
This isn’t my home. Not forever. She needed to remember that, no matter how much she loved this peaceful courtyard facing the ever-changing lake. Let alone the view that went upward from lake to the sprawling town to the towering mountains.
In the chicken house, a hen made a buk-buk-buk-buk sound, announcing she’d laid an egg. On the lake, occasional quacks came from the ducks bobbing around the dock with their offspring paddling furiously to keep up.
Wasn’t it strangely wonderful how the toughest men she’d ever met had created such a sanctuary?
But, really, she was so happy to still be here.
On Monday, after receiving her second weekly paycheck, she’d started phoning around for possible places to live, and Frankie had heard her.
Minutes later, Gabe showed up, sat her down on Bull’s deck, and firmly said, since she was ready to be on her own, she’d be staying in Mako’s place. Because he couldn’t protect her adequately if she lived in town. Because Nabera was still on the loose.
If it’d just been her, maybe she’d have said no, but she wouldn’t risk Aric for pride. She’d agreed—and when Gabe had yelled out, “She said yes,” cheers had filled the courtyard. Everyone had been in on the plan and waiting for her answer.
They’d swarmed out of the houses and carried her stuff over to Mako’s and then celebrated with a meal downstairs. She’d come close to bursting into tears several times that night.
The only one who hadn’t been there was Hawk.
He’d been gone since the end of June, and tomorrow was the first of August. Aric no longer checked the dock several times a day but was still missing him.
Kit didn’t miss him at all.
And, whoa, look at the lie I just tried to tell myself.
Every single day, she felt his absence, which didn’t make sense. It wasn’t as if he talked much. Still, he had a way of filling space just by being present.
Whenever Aric did something adorable, Kit would look to see if Hawk had noticed and to share a smile.
And she kept expecting to feel him next to her. She hadn’t realized how often he stood beside her until his warmth was gone.
“So, girl, what’s got you looking so unhappy?” Frankie handed her an iced tea and took the adjacent chair.
Kit felt her color rise. “Nothing.”
“Oh, please.” Frankie pointed an accusing finger. “From the way you’re blushing, I’d guess a man.”
Frankie knew her too well, yet she didn’t. “I wish.”
At her friend’s raised eyebrow, Kit sighed. “I’m better, and I think, eventually, I’ll be ready to deal with men. Maybe even have sex again, someday.”
After all, she could now get herself off again.
While thinking of Hawk, dammit.
“But?”
“But who’s going to want someone like me? Someone who’s been…used.”
“What kind of bullshit is that? No one will feel that way.” Frankie’s gaze darkened with anger.
Tears pricked at the backs of Kit’s eyes. “They will. He did.”
Frankie went still. “Who?”
“Hawk.” Kit swallowed hard. “Oh, damn, Frankie, I…I made a pass at him, hugged him, and then—then I had a stupid panic attack, and when I got over it, he was gone. I disgusted him so bad, he left his own home and hasn’t come back.”
The thickness in Kit’s throat grew. “I’m dirty. Used goods.” She pulled in another breath. “I drove away the man who’d saved me. Because I’m filthy.”
Tears ran down her face.
Taking the iced tea out of her hand, Frankie hugged her—and let her cry.
Confusion mingling with anger, Gabe stayed where he was.
Earlier, roused by Bull’s pickup, he’d come onto his deck, discovered he was still exhausted—damn drunken tourists—and had stretched out in a sunny patch beside Regan’s cat.
An Alaskan enjoys the sun wherever he finds it.
He’d fallen back asleep and woke when the women started talking. He’d have let them know he was there if it wouldn’t have embarrassed the hell out of Kit.
So he heard a lot more than he wanted to. Or expected.
When Kit finished crying, the women headed over to Mako’s place.
Sitting up, Gabe rubbed his hands over his face. “For fuck’s sake.”
Guess that explained the hawk’s unexpected flight. However, to hear that he’d rejected Kit for what she’d been through?
Gabe shook his head. That didn’t ring true. His brother would never think that way.
But, if she’d made a pass at the taciturn bastard and made him uncomfortable? Would his brother walk away without a word?
Yeah, he would.
Gabe ran a hand down Sirius’ sun-warmed fur, hearing the cat’s rumbling purr in response. Wouldn’t be the first time. Like when Hawk had transferred out of Gabe’s merc unit to another with no explanations. No nothing. He’d just left.
But hell, couldn’t the dumbass have thought about what his reaction would do to a woman with Kit’s traumatic background?