Dammit, Hawk.
Chapter Seventeen
If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush. ~ Murphy’s Laws of Combat Operations
Hawk stepped onto the dock at the Hermitage and pulled in a long breath of pleasure. Despite the worry about seeing Kit, he couldn’t deny the rising sense of contentment.
I’m home.
The flight from Anchorage had reminded him of everything he loved about Alaska. Sunlight sparkling on Cook Inlet. The stunningly jagged mountains. Swathes of vivid pink fireweed in full bloom. Brown bears wading into the rivers for their summer salmon treats.
There was nowhere quite like Alaska.
As he secured his floatplane to the ramp, ducks with half-sized offspring rode the wake from the Cessna’s passage
He’d missed out on watching the babies grow. Missed most of an Alaska summer.
Missed seeing Kit healing and hearing Aric’s giggling.
With a couple of loud woofs, a streak of brown and black barreled down the dock.
“Hey, Gryff.” Hawk braced his feet to keep from getting knocked off the dock. Bending to pet the enthusiastic dog, he kept his stitched-up forearm out of harm’s way.
At least one of the residents of the Hermitage was happy to have him back. The rest—there’d be some backlash coming.
Hawk walked off the dock onto the grass with Gryff bouncing beside him. Around the courtyard, the family had obviously just finished a Sunday evening supper. He saw Gabe and Audrey, and Bull and Frankie coming out of their houses. The others were still on the patio, probably on clean-up duty.
Good, he’d hoped to arrive after the meal—because salmon wouldn’t have been the only thing getting grilled.
“’Mano, we’ve missed you.” Caz strode down the slope to greet him with a handshake and half-hug. He studied Hawk with a professional gaze. “How much damage this time?”
“I’m good, Doc.” Good thing he’d worn a long-sleeved shirt rather than a tee.
Joining Caz, JJ said in her warm, husky voice, “Welcome back, Hawk.”
“You home for good or just passing through?” Bull asked in a loud voice, stepping off his deck.
Yeah, he’d pissed off the bull. Hawk tried not to wince. “For good. It was just a favor for a friend.”
“I’m so happy you’re back.” Audrey pushed forward to give him a quick hug. “We were worried about you.”
Blondie was a fucking sweetheart. Gabe better appreciate her.
She was followed by Frankie who also hugged him before stepping back. “You have some explaining to do, I hope you know.”
“Dream on, Yorkie.”
The quirk of her full lips defeated the glare she tried to give him.
“Uncle Hawk, where’ve you been?” Regan wrapped her arms around his waist.
His heart twisted with a painful twang. “I’m back now.”
Hell, he hadn’t thought about how she might take his absence. After losing her mother, her sense of security was probably shaky.
And there was the other kid he loved, dammit.
Partway to the houses, Aric stood next to Kit, both silently watching. Tears pooled in the boy’s big eyes.
Fuck. Fuck me. He’d done what he could to keep Aric from worrying. It obviously hadn’t been enough.
Hawk went down on one knee. “Hey.”
With a heartbreaking wail, Aric ran forward, and Hawk wrapped his arms around the small body.
Crying, Aric held on for all he was worth—and burrowed right into Hawk’s aching heart.
Hawk cleared his tight throat. “I told you I’d be back.”
“You didn’t come. Didn’t, didn’t, didn’t come.”
“Took longer than I’d planned.” Remorse sliced another gash in Hawk’s chest. Time worked differently for a kid. To adults, a month was a drop in the bucket. To a kid, it was a huge part of their life. Hell. “I should’ve called. I’m sorry.”
So incredibly sorry. The pain of disappointing the boy, of hurting him, was like a knife to the gut.
Aric’s head came up. Surprise at the apology showed in the tear-filled blue eyes.
Hawk’s smile failed miserably. Instead, he used his fingers to wipe the wetness from the kid’s cheeks. “I’m home now.”
“You stay home,” Aric said firmly.
“Yeah. No more long trips.” He’d just have to suck it up and deal with the discomfort of being around a woman he wanted for more than a friend.
Wouldn’t be the first time now, would it?
“I gotta unpack.” He stood. “See you in the morning, right?”
He got another hug before Aric ran back to his mama, who was holding a stack of dirty dishes. “He’s going to stay.”
Seems someone had found himself a healthy yell. Good for you, kid.
Hawk met Kit’s gaze. Her expression was composed and cool…and her lower lip trembled. She gave him a nod, then bent to her son.
Yeah, she was establishing boundaries right from the start. He’d keep his distance.
As they walked away, his chest hurt like he’d come home with a gunshot wound. With a sigh, he rubbed his neck. Time to hide in his cave and get his shit together.
Naturally, that was when Gabe moved forward and told the others, “Give us a minute.”
After a second, Caz returned to cleaning up the patio while the rest headed back to their houses.
Considering the shit expression on Gabe’s face, Hawk planted his feet solidly on the ground.
“Leaving without warning.” The cop looked Hawk up and down. “Guess I expect that kind of dick move from you.”
Hawk’s jaw clenched. When his brother got on his high horse, the need to plant a fist in his face grew almost intolerable.
“Not sending word if you were alive,” Gabe growled. “Same.”
Hawk crossed his arms over his chest and set to endure.
“What you did to Kit—that was fucked-up.”
Hawk winced. “Yeah, okay. I thought… I misread the situation and yeah, I fucked up.”
“No shit. She liked you and thought—”
“Bullshit.” Hawk dropped his arms, his hands fisting. “She’s terrified of me. Women don’t ‘like’ me.”
“Bullshit yourself.” Gabe’s brows drew together. “You’ve had a shitload of women.”
“Tag-chasers and the ones who get off on being scared. No one wants more than a fast fuck.”
“Don’t give me that poor pitiful me crap.” Gabe shoved him back a step. “You’ve had girlfriends. Like back in Nicaragua with Jami—no, Jazeera, that was her name, right?”
Jazeera. The memory of the dark-eyed beauty was a bucketful of bitter dumped on his head. He’d dated her for a month while the merc team recovered from a job and set up for the next. One night, he drank too much—they both had—and told her he was falling for her. She’d laughed at him. “No, no, big man. You’re a god in bed, but not for serious. I just wanted a way to get in with your magnificent brother. Mmm. That Gabe, him I could marry.”
And Gabe couldn’t even remember her name.
“Yeah, bro. Jazeera.” Hawk’s soul was turning to ice. “She wanted to marry my magnificent brother. I was just a stepping-stone to get close to you.”