I was on the verge of tears staring at each photograph and reading the commentary beside each piece. Damian’s words about me were enough to make the tears fall. As I stood in front of a photograph of me laughing as I held a blueberry scone in my hand, I read the words beside it.
Beauty in its truest form.
“It’s true,” a voice said from behind me. I turned to see Damian standing there, dressed in a black suit, looking perfect beyond words. “You are beauty in its truest form.”
My lips parted, but no words came out at first. I tried again, and it cracked. I tried once more but found myself flying into Damian’s arms instead.
He welcomed me, too. He welcomed me into his arms, into his embrace without a moment of hesitation. He wrapped me up against him, allowing me to melt against his chest.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I pushed you away because I was afraid of letting you in even more. Because I feared losing you, but I need you, Damian. I need you more than words can express. And I understand if you aren’t okay with coming back after what I’ve done. But I just need you to know I love you more than I’ve ever loved another and—”
“Stella?”
“Yes?”
He placed his hands around my face and lifted my head to find his blue eyes.
Ocean blues…
Waves of peace…
“I love you, too.”
I never understood grief completely. I never understood that having grief was a sign that you were able to love so deeply. It was truly amazing that a heart could still beat after you lost your loved ones. But that heart still had love within it, and it searched for any and every way to still feel after your loved one was gone. Even if the feelings you felt were pain.
I was now learning that any feeling that encircled love was worth feeling. Even the hard emotions because it was a reminder of how real, and how deep love could be.
Grief was hard but coming out of it was the greatest gift because you looked at the world in a different way.
It wasn’t about the happily ever after. It was about the happily ever now. Right then and there. It was about living in the moment and celebrating the joy of each day. Real love happened in the present tense, not in the past or future. It happened in every single passing second. It happened every time I was near him.
Damian was it for me. He was the promise of love that I had been searching my whole life to discover. He was the happy days and the sad. The beauty and the pain. The ups and the downs. Damian Blackstone was my world. My biggest and greatest universal blessing.
42
Damian
* * *
“Why were you not afraid that she wouldn’t come back?” Maple asked me during our now weekly cat-piss-tea-drinking sessions. “When I met you, you had a wall built, and the old you would’ve left and never looked back. What changed?”
I smiled and shrugged. “The Stella effect. Plus, I saw it, you know. Her fear from the idea of losing you or me. I knew that fear because it lived so long within me. My hurt noticed hers, and I was more than willing to be patient.”
“Thank you, Damian,” she said, taking my hand in hers. “For not running away. Thank you for staying.”
“I’m not the only one who stayed. She needed you, too. We both did.” I glanced at my watch. “I should go check in on her and make sure she’s okay. But thanks for the conversation, Maple.” I stood and gave her a hug.
As she squeezed me, my heart almost exploded within my chest as she said, “Please, Damian. Call me Grams.”
The next few months leading up to the delivery of the baby were the most beautiful yet nerve-racking months of both Stella’s and my life. This time, we made deeper vows for one another, ones that we didn’t make over nine months ago when we stood at the coastline.
We promised each other to stay until the final chapter of our lives. We promised to stay during the storms, and stay during the bright days, too. We promised each other forever—even when we were scared.
And trust me, fear did come.
“I got the bag!” I shouted, rushing out of the house and slamming the door behind me. I got to the car, tossed the bag into the back seat, and then hopped into the driver’s seat and drove out of the driveway.
“I can’t believe it’s time,” I said out loud. Then I reached over to hold Stella’s hand.
Oh, fuck me.
I forgot Stella.
Seconds later, I came dashing back into the house. “I forgot a wife!” I exclaimed, hurrying over to her. “I guess I’ll need you to deliver the baby.”
She laughed, holding her hands against her back. She’d been having back pain and hadn’t been sleeping well, but she said that was just getting her ready for the lack of sleep that came with a newborn.
The delivery went smoothly. I was there for the whole thing, holding Stella’s hand as she cried out. Then when the baby girl was born, I swore the room lit up with more light. She was placed on Stella’s chest, and Stella cried into her blessing.
I cried, too, because fuck…it was overwhelming in the best way.
“Do you want to hold her?” Stella asked, looking toward me.
“Please,” I agreed.
She placed her in my arms, and just like that, I fell in love.
As Sophie’s eyes stared up at mine, brown like her mother’s, I knew that instant love was a thing. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever witnessed, and it felt like a privilege to be near her.
I placed my lips against the little girl’s forehead and realized at that moment that I would forever be wrapped around her finger, at her beck and call.
“Welcome home, Sophie Blackstone,” I whispered, repeating the kisses against her forehead.
Home.
Not a place, but a person. People. Stella and Sophie.
Home.
As I looked into the eyes of my daughter, I couldn’t explain the overwhelming sense of joy that filled me.
“Stella?” I whispered, holding our daughter against my chest.
“Yes?”
“Marry me again this fall?”
She smiled and lay her head against the pillow as we stared at one another in complete bliss. “Yes.”
Epilogue
Stella
Three Months Later
* * *
The ceremony had many of the same elements as the last time. Aaliyah and Connor attended again. This time, with Grant, who was getting cuter each day. Maple still officiated the ceremony, and there were still blueberry scones as our something blue.
There were a few different things this go-around, though. Connor volunteered to walk me down the aisle, and when I arrived, Damian was holding our daughter in his arms. My world stood before me, and I stared in complete awe at the two.
“Hi there,” I whispered.
“Hello,” he replied.
My nerves were nonexistent, yet the butterflies remained. I wore a white gown with flowers in my hair, and once I reached the altar, I felt Kevin and Mama’s kisses against my toes as the waves slowly came and went.
At the end of this ceremony, I wore Blackstone at the end of my name and signed paperwork to officially make Sophie his daughter.