Oliver glares at me for forever and then he kisses Grace’s forehead and walks out.
“Your family is so dramatic.”
I chuckle, grasping Grace’s body in both my arms, my face right beside hers. “I like you.”
She laughs. “I like you too.”
“Don’t move out, okay?”
“I won’t. At least not yet. But when you get all fancy and decide breaking hearts is what all the cool kids are doing, I might.”
“And if I decide to be lame and never do that?”
“Then you better not ever make me overhear how you’re a sex god with another woman in my favorite café.”
“But the local diner?”
“Carter?!” I get a smack to my head which makes me laugh harder.
“I’m your sex god. Your body is my temple. Your pussy my house of worship.” I raise up, dropping my chin onto the gurney and smirking at my girl. “Sweetheart, there is no getting away from me because wherever you go, I follow. I will always follow.”
“You mean that?”
I don’t get a chance to answer because just then Drew returns, his gray eyes on us as he approaches the other side of her gurney. “Oliver just informed me I’m to release you. But since this is my ED and you’re my patient and not his, I thought I’d come speak to you first.”
“I’d like to go home,” Grace tells him.
“And I’d like Margot to finally marry me. We don’t always get what we want. Is there any way I can convince you to stay the night? Get an EEG? A neuro consult?”
“None of this is new for me, but I promise I’ll follow up with my neurologist.”
“Do you need a refill on your meds until then?”
She shakes her head. “No. I have plenty of Ativan at home and I’ll likely start taking it for a few days just to be certain.”
“Damn, doctors make the worst patients. How about you will start taking it for a few days and if you need anything else, well, Carter can write it for you or I can. Margot or Rina will be here in a second with some—”
“I’m already here,” Rina announces. “I have a clean pair of scrubs for you, but unfortunately the only underwear I could scrounge up are the lovely full coverage hospital mesh ones.”
“Awesome,” Grace deadpans. “Super sexy but very appreciated. I’m not going to ask how many people I work with saw me seize, lose control of God knows what, and get naked because I don’t want to know.”
“Only I saw you naked,” Margot replies, coming in to join us. “I cleaned you up and changed you into a gown after the room was cleared.”
“Thank you,” Grace says, her voice cracking with gratitude. “All of you.”
“Rest up and take it easy,” Drew tells her. “I don’t want to see you back down here unless you’re here as a doctor and not a patient.”
“Agreed.”
“I’ll take out her IV,” I offer.
I take the scrubs and mesh underwear from Rina and the room empties after Drew does a quick exam and Rina and Margot hug Grace. Shutting off the pumps, I wash my hands, put on some gloves, and go about removing the IV from Grace’s elbow crease. Then I untie the string in the back of the gown, helping her get changed.
“Why are you still here, Carter?”
I blink at that, shifting to catch her eye. “What do you mean? Did you want me to step out while you change?”
“No. I mean, why are you still here with me, telling me you want me to stay?” She shakes her head, staring down at her hands. “You can’t be for real.”
“I don’t understand what you’re asking me,” I admit.
She blows out a breath and for the longest of moments, just sits there, lost in her thoughts. Finally she says, “When I was first diagnosed, my parents didn’t know what to do with me. It scared them, sure, but I think it also embarrassed them. I had a seizure in public once and I remember when I came to and was feeling better, my mother told me I wasn’t allowed to do that again—like I had a choice in the matter—because two people from their country club saw. After that, they pretty much kept me in the house or parked me at your house with Oliver. I think they assumed because your father is a doctor that he’d be able to handle me better than they would.”
“Grace.”
I sit back down, taking her hand in mine. I never knew about this. Oliver never mentioned it. He said her parents weren’t part of her life. That they don’t give a shit about her. I had no clue it was like this though.
“I took my meds. I did everything I could not to have any more seizures. I went on Depo-Provera when we discovered my periods were making them worse. I was desperate for my parents to want me and love me back, but they never did after that episode. Once I realized that was the case, I used my epilepsy as a weapon against them. I wanted to be normal. Just like every other teenager and college kid. I wanted to drink and party and not think of the consequences. It took me a very long time to understand how doing that was not hurting them the way I intended. I was only hurting myself in that game. I got straight with my seizures—lucky I was even able to do that when so many can’t—and in my entire relationship with Tony, I never had one. Only a few FAS symptoms that never went beyond that. In fact, I think he mostly forgot about it. He’d mention things occasionally, but he never saw me seize. I used to be so afraid he’d leave me the way my parents did if he ever saw it happen. And then he cheated on me and I guess…”
She puffs out a breath, staring up at the ceiling so she doesn’t cry and God, my chest aches just watching her wrestle with this.
“My head is a mess, Carter, but it’s not you. You’re the one thing that feels like it’s going right in my life. And because of that, I’m scared you’ll be the next thing I lose because that’s how it always seems to go for me.”
I thread my fingers with hers, both hands, giving hers a squeeze so she’ll look at me. It takes her a long beat to do so. “I saw you seize. And I’m still here with no plans on going anywhere else. It takes an awful lot more than a couple of seizures to scare me away from something I want as badly as I want you. I haven’t done this before, Grace, but that’s not going to stop me. If you need time, I’ll be patient. But no matter what, you’re not losing me. I promise, sweetheart.”
Tears line her eyes, holding on tight, refusing to fall.
“I just hope you know what you’re getting into.”
28
In the four weeks since my seizure, time has moved at warp speed. And not necessarily in a good way. Janet came back after her time off, meaner than a snake and more ruthless than one at a mouse-eating competition. Carter had to readjust everyone’s schedules, including mine.
Now, I work mostly with Dr. Westerfield and Janet works primarily with Carter. Even if he moved me so our schedules align. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out it’s because he’s worried about me.
But still, I can’t stand how closely he’s working with Janet and not with me—something she’s insanely smug about and loves to rub in my face. He’s pushing me out of the OR and making it, so I have more oversight than I did before. Dr. Westerfield is amazing and I’m learning a lot, but she’s not my attending. Carter is. So why the hell does he think I need a second attending all over my ass? I was handling my patients without error before.