Silence vibrates in the apartment.
She’s got him. I sense he’s paying attention.
I’m here for backup, but she doesn’t need me. She really does have this. I’m so proud of her I could burst. Some of the tension eases out of me, my smile broadening.
“I want Cat happy. I want her cared for. And I want you to leave Owen alone. You can lock me out. Fine. I’ll survive. Just don’t hurt them.”
Holy shit. Pride swells up huge inside me. She’s fucking amazing.
She appears in the doorway, jerks her head to the front door, and leads the way out. She pauses in front of the French doors to the living room, staring in.
I follow her gaze.
“My piano,” she whispers.
She loves that piano.
She pulls in a quick breath, lifts her chin, and walks to the door.
21
Emerie
Vince isn’t backing down.
I’m homeless. And family-less.
Cat’s the only family I have now, and I’ve lost her.
Okay, I know that’s over the top. She’s not lost. But that’s how I feel right now.
Owen takes me home. I mean, to his place. I’m trying not to cry, but he keeps shooting me concerned glances as he drives.
Up in the apartment, I drop my purse and sink down onto the sectional. I stare across the room.
He sits next to me, curls his arm around my shoulders, and hugs me.
“I don’t know what else to do,” I whisper. “She ran away from home to be with me. What do I tell her?”
“Are you really asking my advice?”
One corner of my mouth lifts as I look at him. “I appreciate you asking that and not jumping in to try to fix everything.”
“I want to.”
“Thank you.” I touch his cheek. “But I need to deal with it.”
“You were amazing back there.”
“I didn’t get what I want.”
“You stood up for yourself. And for Cat. And for me.” He presses his lips to my temple. “You’re strong. You can handle this. You can handle anything.”
I’m not so sure of that. But him telling me that helps.
“And I’m here for you,” he adds.
My heart expands and I turn into his embrace. “Thank you.”
I can’t think straight. I can’t put a coherent thought together to make a plan. I’m trembling, and Owen’s big hands stroking my back feel so good.
“How about a bath?” he asks.
I lift my head. “A sex bath?”
He grins. “No. Not this time. A bath by yourself. With those bath salts I got you.”
“I love those bath salts. Okay.”
“I’ll go run the water for you.”
What a sweetheart. Him being so nice to me is making me even more emotional. A nice soak in the tub should help. I do some of my best thinking there.
The bathroom smells amazing when I walk in, scented steam filling the air. He’s lit the big candles I set on the shelf and laid out fresh, fluffy towels. I look at him, and so much feeling fills me, overflowing, and the words almost slip from my lips. I love you. But I don’t say them.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
He smooches my lips and leaves me alone in the bathroom. I undress and slip into the hot water. My body softens at the voluptuous pleasure. I close my eyes. I can’t do anything right this minute, so I may as well just give in to this.
In the silence, my mind eventually quiets, too.
I’ll talk to Cat after school. I’ll have to be honest with her. I dread how that could go. Last night she was so upset, and I don’t want to see her like that again. It fucking killed me.
I can’t ask her to move in here. This is Owen’s home. I don’t have a home of my own to take her into. But I guess that has to be my next step. Finding a home of my own.
Oh God. How hard is that going to be in Manhattan? Especially with no steady source of income.
I take a few deep breaths to push back the panic brewing. I can do it. I can do anything. Owen says so.
Cat should stay with Vince. She has a beautiful home there. Vince has the money to give her whatever she needs, including people to look after her. And legally? Well, I doubt I have any legal rights to Cat. I need to shut down that idea right now. I can’t fight Vince on that.
What can I do? I can make sure Cat knows she’s loved and valued. I’ll do that any way I can.
I settle deeper into the water with a new sense of resolve. I’m not giving up. I’m accepting the reality of this situation and determined to make the best of it.
I sit in Owen’s empty apartment and look around. He’s off skating with the guys. I’m alone. I don’t usually busk on weekends, but I guess I could now.
I sigh.
I miss Cat.
A heaviness has settled inside me. What am I feeling? I’m a little sad, yes, but it’s more than that. I feel…lost.
I don’t know who I am anymore.
I’m trying to take care of Owen and not be in his way, but it doesn’t quite give me the same sense of purpose that looking after Cat did.
I’ve been trying to get hold of Vince, but he’s not taking my calls and I haven’t been able to see him. I attempted to go up to the apartment with Cat after school one day and got stopped by the doormen, who have their orders. They looked embarrassed but still wouldn’t let me up.
I’ve helped Cat with homework over video chat and talked to her on the phone for an hour one day “about a boy.” I’m trying to stay upbeat, but right now…I’m lost.
I wander over to the window and gaze out. The sky is overcast, a low mist hanging in the air. That doesn’t help my mood.
I have to do something.
Music. Music always saves me.
I get my guitar and sit down to start playing. Music comes to me. I think about Owen and how happy he makes me. I think about feeling lost. I think about finding a new me. Another me. No, another part of me.
Who do I want to be?
I write a whole song and sprawl back into the chair, happy, energized, satisfied.
Then I get out my computer and fire it up. Nash keeps telling me I should start a Soundcloud account. He says I could make more money. I’ve never been motivated by the money, but maybe now I should think about it.
I type and click and scroll, going to the “For Creators” page, taking in information about it. Okay, I can set up a profile. That’s easy.
I watch a tutorial video. Do I really want to put my music out there in the world for anyone to listen to? It’s scary.
I read about monetizing. My fingers still, and I gaze at the screen, my stomach tightening. I don’t know anything about this.
But I can learn.
* * *
OWEN
* * *
Over the next couple of weeks, Emerie and I evolve into a new routine. Except it’s not the same as my usual routine. For one thing, I’m still on a break from hockey. And for another thing, Emerie’s here, and that’s distracting.
On the other hand, being distracted by her is pretty damn fun. Especially in bed. And in the shower. And hell, in the living room on the couch.