“I have a couple of interested companies,” he tells me, naming a big sporting goods manufacturer, a men’s grooming products company, and a luxury car brand.
“Do I get a car?” I ask, joking.
“We can negotiate that.”
I was kidding. But hell, I’d take a car. He goes over the details and says he’ll get back to me.
When I end the call, the apartment is silent. Wow. It’s been a while since things were this quiet here. I have some bills to pay, so I go online and do that, then I pick up a book I’m reading called “The Mind of a Champion.”
I’ve just settled in when Emerie arrives home. I take one look at her face. “What’s wrong?”
Her bottom lip quivers. “Cat doesn’t want me to take her to school, or pick her up after, anymore.”
I set down my book. So much for reading. “Oh. She is twelve.”
“I know, but geez! Terrible things can happen! It’s a big city! With crime!” She flops down on the sectional beside me.
I smile. “She’s growing up.”
“I know.” She sighs. “She has friends who live nearby, and they walk to school together. She wants to walk with them.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“I told her I had to talk to Vince first, but if he was okay with it, I was too. And he is.”
“Good.”
“But I’ll worry about her.”
“Of course you will.” I caress her cheek with my knuckles. “But she’s a smart girl. She’ll be fine.”
She will worry about Cat. And I’m a little worried about Emerie. Not having this duty of taking Cat to and from school is going to be hard on her. First, she’s not even living there with Cat anymore, and now Cat doesn’t need her for this.
She settles into a brief sulk, then straightens her shoulders. “What are we doing for dinner tonight?”
“I was going to make that squash recipe.”
She wrinkles her nose. “Oh.”
“Why? What did you want to do?”
“I thought we could go out.”
“We have to dial back on that, sweetheart. I’m back to my normal schedule now.”
“Right, right. That’s okay. I’ll help you cook.”
“Okay.” She’s not the best cook, but she’s learning.
As I stir the pearl barley into boiling chicken broth, and Emerie cuts up the butternut squash, she says, “I wish a had my piano here.”
“Yeah? You miss it?”
“I do. I’m doing more song writing and…” She stops.
“What about your guitar?”
“Yeah. I have that.” She focuses on her knife for a moment. “I feel like I have a lot of things to say. Music has always been how I deal with my emotions.”
“I can tell you put a lot of emotion into your songs.”
I get her grating Parmesan cheese while I slice up a bunch of different kinds of mushrooms.
“Would it be okay if Cat comes over here on Sunday?” she asks.
“Of course.”
There goes more of my routine. This Sunday’s a day off. I planned to watch a bunch of video. But that’s okay.
We slide the baking sheet of cubed squash into the oven to roast, and I heat a pan with olive oil to sauté the garlic, shallots, and then the mushrooms. Emerie stirs the barley, then chops the herbs. Soon we’re sitting down to our dinner of grilled chicken with the barley and squash side dish.
“This is really good!” she says.
“It is. And super healthy. Mushrooms are one of the few nonfortified foods to contain vitamin D, which is important for improving muscle efficiency and function.”
She nods. “That’s what you need.” She tilts her head. “Maybe I should start working out.”
I grin. “Sure.”
“Kate belongs to a gym that she really likes. Maybe I could tag along with her some time. Yeah. I should do that.”
“That’s a great idea.” That would be a good use of her newfound time. Not that I want her out of my way. I just…I have goals. I have to focus on them.
23
Emerie
I go out with Sara, Lilly and Kate one night. They surprise me by taking me to a little pizza joint for pizza and beers. For some reason, I thought these gorgeous, smart, talented women whose boyfriends are rich, famous athletes would want to go somewhere trendy and upscale, but here we are at a little hole in the wall place with plastic chairs and a wobbly table.
We squeeze around the tiny table, the giant pizza we ordered taking up all the space. It’s really good pizza.
I talk to Kate about her gym, and she’s enthusiastic about taking me there and introducing me to people. She’s very fit—she used to play hockey and clearly stays in great shape.
Then we talk about the fundraiser we’re working on—even Kate has been roped into helping. She’s good though. While Sara and I have some great ideas, she’s very practical and businesslike about making the ideas happen. Or nixing them when they’re too out there.
“I can’t wait for this,” I say. “Seeing dogs on the runway! I wish I had a dog to enter!”
“Well, Otis will definitely be participating.” Lilly smiles. “I need to find a great outfit for him to model.”
“He is the cutest thing.” I’ve gone for walks with Lilly and Otis a couple of times in the park near us, and I love him.
“So…you’re still staying with Owen?” Sara asks.
I lift a piece of pie with delicious melty cheese hanging off it and set it on my plate. “Yes.” I sigh.
“What’s the sigh for?” Lilly asks.
Oops. “Did I sigh? I didn’t know I sighed. Nothing.”
They all eye me skeptically.
“Do you miss your sister?” Sara asks sympathetically.
“So much.” I make a face. I tell them about her not wanting to be walked to and from school anymore. “I feel like I’m losing her bit by bit. I feel a little—” I stop. Invisible. I feel invisible. Like I did as a teenager.
My stomach clenches hard and I swallow, staring at my pizza. This is always what I’ve been afraid of. And it’s happening.
“All parents must feel like that,” Sara says. “As their kids grow up and become more independent. But I’m sorry you miss her.”
“I do still see her. She comes over on Sundays and we hang out.”
“Owen’s okay with that?”
“He’s very sweet to her. He bought her mint chocolate chip ice cream, which he would never have in his freezer.”
They all nod.
“And he bought her a Bears jersey. It’s adorable.” Then I sigh. “But then he disappears into his office to watch hockey video.”
“Are things okay with Owen?” Kate asks.
“I guess.” I pick at a string of cheese and lift it to my mouth. “I just feel a little…superfluous.” Invisible.
Oh God. It’s not just the situation with Cat making me feel this way. It’s Owen, too. A cold lump forms in my chest.
“What does that mean?” Sara asks.