Cat’s eyes widen. “Yes!”
Kevin’s right behind him. “Hi!”
“Hi, Kevin!” Cat bounces.
“Come get an ice cream,” Kevin says. “You can meet Nate Karmeinski. He’s here too.”
“Oh no, is he hurt, too?” She follows him out.
I expect Owen to go with them, but he doesn’t. He walks farther into the room and looks at Vince. “Mr. D’Agostino. I’m glad you’re here. I need to say some things to Emerie and also to you.”
What? I blink rapidly, pressing a hand to my chest where my heart jumps wildly. I hold onto the back of a seat to steady myself.
Owen turns his intent gaze back to me. I feel like I’m in a tractor beam—mesmerized. Frozen in place.
I adore this man.
His gaze on me is burning hot but also tender and needy with a hint of uncertainty. I can see the tension his big shoulders hold.
“Hi. How are you?”
“I’m okay.” Say it again, Em.
“I went to visit my parents.”
“Oh! Really? That’s…great. I think?” I know I told him he should do that. But what if I was wrong?
“It was great. You were right.” He holds my gaze steadily. “I’ve been sort of an idiot.”
I frown.
“We had a good talk. We talked a lot about Eric.”
“Ohhhh,” I breathe. “That’s…good.” I bob my head slowly up and down. I glance at Vince, not sure if he knows about Owen’s brother.
“I’ve been angry at him.”
“At…Eric?” I cock my head, my insides quivering.
“Yeah. Angry at him for dying. Angry at him for giving up. Angry at him for not trying harder. For leaving me.” He bows his head and looks at his hands holding the water bottle.
My heartbeat sticks in my throat.
He looks up, focusing on me again. “I never really dealt with losing him. Never accepted it. It’s kind of…driven me.”
I press my hands together and lift them to my mouth. I understand what he’s saying. I comprehend it right to the marrow of my bones. His entire purpose in life has been about Eric. I gaze at him. “I know.”
Our eyes meet. And hold. “Yeah. You do. And I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for…?”
“For not putting you first.”
My heart tries to burst out of my chest. “Oh, Owen.”
“I’m so sorry.” He lays his hand over his heart. “I was so lucky to have you in my life. And I hurt you. And I fucking hate that.”
I nod, my eyes stinging.
“You believed in me,” he continues. “When a lot of other people didn’t. I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”
I swallow. “Did your parents believe in you too?”
“Yeah.” His lips curve into a slight smile. “You were right. They’re one hundred per cent behind me, too.”
“Oh, good.” I exhale.
“I was trying to not be Eric. To be better than him. I thought I had to be perfect to do that.”
You don’t. You don’t have to be better than him. You don’t have to be perfect.
But he says it before me and I’m so, so glad he knows this. “I know now that was wrong.”
I nod, my throat so strangled I can’t speak.
“It might be too late for us,” he says.
I feel a sharp pinching sensation behind my breastbone.
“But I want to be a better person. For you. I don’t deserve you in my life, but I want to try. If you’ll let me.”
I cover my mouth with trembling hands. I have some things to say, too, but I don’t know if I can get them out. I swallow painfully. “I’ve learned some things about myself, too.”
“Yeah?” His eyes soften, still warm.
“Yeah. I may have gotten too invested in looking after Cat. And maybe lost a bit of myself in the process.” I curl my fingers tightly together. My heart is still racing, my skin icy. “I did it out of love.”
“I know.” His smile heats my skin.
“And maybe out of fear.”
His eyes shadow now. He takes a step closer, tension working between his eyebrows.
“I was afraid of being alone. Of not belonging. Of not being loved.”
He closes his eyes for a few long seconds, looking like someone just speared him with a butt end. “I’m so sorry, Em.” He opens his eyes and they’re shining with emotion and…maybe...tears? “I am so sorry. I was afraid, too. I was terrified that I could care more about something other than hockey, and I just couldn’t let myself.”
“I know. I understand.” I blink back my own tears.
“I’ll regret that for the rest of my life,” he says quietly. “That I made you feel unwanted. Unloved. When the truth is, I do love you.”
Oh God. Oh my God. I press my fingers to my lips, my eyes wide.
“And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that earlier. You’re the most important thing.” He holds my gaze steadfastly. “I want to show you that.”
“You hurt me,” I say, my voice thin. I guess I’m still afraid. Afraid to trust that he means that. “How do I believe you now?”
“I’ll show you. I’ll show you every day, if you’ll let me. And I’ll start showing you right now.” He turns to Vince.
My heart jounces in my chest.
“Mr. D’Agostino, I know you had other ideas about who Emerie should be with. And I’m sorry you were disappointed. I know I made a huge mistake and caused a lot of problems for the team, and if you were to trade me now, no one would question it. I’m prepared to live with that, if that’s what your decision is. But I love Emerie. And if she’ll have me, I want to spend the rest of time showing her how much she’s loved. How much she’s needed. And how much she matters.”
Vince stares back at Owen.
Owen just put his career on the line. For me. Emotion unfurls inside me, hot and soft and brilliant, nearly dropping me to my knees.
Vince’s face is tight and inscrutable. Then he huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. I swear the look in his eyes is respectful. “You’re okay, Cooke.”
What does that mean? Does it mean what I think it means?
I stare at Vince. “You’re okay with this?”
He glances at the door as if making sure nobody can hear us. “I owe you an apology too, Emerie.”
My chin nearly hits the floor.
“For a lot of things,” he mutters. “I know I haven’t been a great parent. If anything good came of all this, I’ve realized I need to do better for Cat. And for you, if it’s not too late.”
I stare, my mind like a blender on high speed.
“You’ve done so much for her. I appreciate it.”
I swallow. “Th-thank you.”
“Yeah, I wanted you and Roman back together.” He sighs. “For financial reasons. I won’t bore you with the details but…after that day you came and chewed me out, I kept thinking about it. Roman’s been…aggressive. I though it was the solution to my problems. But you were right. I can’t solve my financial issues in a way that will hurt the team. And my family.”