“Why don’t we get some sleep?” Aldis suggests and then looks at me. “I’m pretty sure Bowen’s bed is big enough for the three of us.”
“Nah, you two go.” I wave them off even though there’s an aching part deep inside me, wondering what it would feel like to sleep all wrapped up together.
“You sure?” Bowen asks, sitting up and frowning at me.
“Yeah.” I grab his hand a second time—the one that isn’t dripping with our cum—and give it another squeeze. “I had fun tonight. You two go and get some sleep. I’m going to take a shower and maybe go hit the gym.”
“Okay.” Bowen gets up, and Aldis follows, each looking at me over their shoulders once as they head down the hallway hand in hand toward Bowen’s bedroom.
My body is relaxed and loose, but my head is more chaotic than ever. Why wouldn’t Bowen kiss me? How did I go so many years without knowing how incredible it could feel to be with a man? How can I simultaneously feel so connected and so separate from the two of them? And most important, what’s going to happen when their relationship gets deeper and I get left behind?
Chapter Eleven
Aldis
I wake around two in the morning, rising to go to the bathroom and noticing the TV on in the living room. No doubt it’s Hawthorne battling with his insomnia. I venture out to chat with him. Something tells me he could use the touch base.
Sure enough, he’s sitting on the sofa, staring blankly at the screen. I clear my throat softly to get his attention. He whips his head in my direction but then smiles in greeting.
“Hey.”
“Mind if I sit?”
“Not at all.” He scoots over slightly.
I join him, glancing at his incredible body. He’s only wearing boxer shorts, and I can detect the outline of his bulge through the material.
“Whatcha watching?”
Hawthorne shrugs. “No clue. Just need the noise.”
“Do you know the source of your insomnia?”
“Nah. It’s been like this off and on since I was a kid. Sometimes it goes away, and I think it’s over, but it always returns.”
“It’s tough.”
“Can be. Helpful having my own business though. I can always sleep a little longer if I need to.”
“Same. My clients are spread out across the globe. I can catch a nap whenever.”
“That’s awesome.”
We fall silent for a few seconds, both of us acting like we’re watching the TV. But curiosity is getting to me, and I am a man who just says what he means, so here goes.
“You like what we’re doing? The three of us?” I can literally feel him tense next to me. “We don’t have to talk if you’re still not ready.”
“It’s okay.” He glances at me but quickly pulls his eyes away. “I mean, it’s obvious, right? I get off.”
“Lots of things feel good in the moment. I’m asking about overall.”
He swallows, and I watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. “I like it. I guess I’m just wondering what happens next. You two are obviously becoming a couple. Where does that leave me?”
Turning to my side, I lean my arm on the back of the couch and face him. “Where do you want to be, Thorne? What do you want?”
He huffs out a breath as his brow furrows like he’s frustrated with my questions. “I don’t know.”
“That’s okay. I think all three of us are just feeling things out. Can I tell you something?”
“Sure.”
“I like this. Us. I like Bowen a lot, and I’m still getting to know you, but so far, I think you’re cool. When we hung out alone the other day, it felt nice. This weekend will be good for us.”
He nods, finally allowing his eyes to settle on me. “You don’t wish it was just the two of you?”
“No. Making Bowen happy makes me happy. You make Bowen happy. How could I not want him to have that?”
“You’re not threatened?”
“Should I be? Are you planning to stage a coup?”
He chuckles. “No.”
“Listen, Thorne, you haven’t been with men before, so you’re exploring. Bowen and I are still new and getting to know each other. I figure the three of us are figuring out how this works together.”
He nods, searching my eyes, a question he doesn’t ask obvious on his lips. I give him space to process his thoughts, and when he finally does, it’s exactly what I knew he was thinking.
“Will you join in at some point, or is just watching your kink?”
I smile, leaning in close enough to brush his hair off his shoulder. His breath hitches, and that’s the sign I was looking for. He wants me as much as he wants Bowen. At least physically.
“Like I said, we’re figuring it out together. I imagine we’ll make some progress this weekend, so we all know what to expect.” I bravely brush my fingers across his stubble, smiling when he accepts my touch. “How does that feel to you?”
“Good.” His voice is raspy and deeper than it was when we started talking. “You’re very interesting, Aldis.”
“So are you. You’ve never even thought about a guy before?”
He shakes his head. “Not in this way. I just kept dating women, searching for something. Something I never found. The day you came over the first time, I had just ended a long-term relationship with a great girl, but I knew something was off. That was the same day I saw you naked and Bowen looked fucked out. It was like a switch flipped in my head. I do think it’s weird to be my age and just now figuring out my sexuality.”
“Probably not as weird as you think. It’s more common than you know. Compulsive heterosexuality and monogamy get shoved down our throats from the time we’re babies on. A lot of the older generation is realizing we don’t have to follow that prescription anymore.”
“Makes sense. Just seems like with all the time I spend at the gym and around men in my work, I would’ve popped a chub before now.”
I chuckle. “Maybe you did and didn’t connect it.”
“Yeah.” He nods as if absorbing that information.
“But you’re okay with your attraction to men?”
“To you and Bowen? Yeah.”
He put me in there too. Damn, that feels good. He meets my gaze again, and I swear I see something pleading and needy in them.
“I think Bowen has wanted you for a long time.”
“And my dumb ass never noticed. I’ve been missing out. He’s…” Thorne pauses, dragging his hand through his hair. “He’s amazing.”
“Agreed.”
“I’m glad you came out here. I guess I did need to talk and get out of my own head.”
“We all need that. I think I’ll go back and try to sleep. Sure you don’t want to come with? I’m a hell of a cuddler.”
He smiles and waves me away, but I can see the conflict on his face. He wants to, but he’s holding back for some reason. Maybe in time, he’ll get on board. Fuck knows he’ll be sleeping next to us in the tent this weekend.