Holden smirks. “Sucks to be you,” he says, right before he reaches up, grabbing the nozzle of the extendable hose hanging from a top shelf. I open my mouth to protest—this wasn’t in the rules—and before I can get a sound out, my mouth fills with cold water, and the rest is a blur. For seconds, I stand there, stunned, unable to move, and he drenches my entire front from head to toe.
Finally coming to, I stick my hands out, trying to block the spray. “Holden, stop!”
He doesn’t.
I drop the water gun and charge at him. “Quit it.”
His laughter is like sunshine warming my flesh. I press my shoulder into his stomach, my arms around his torso as I try to push him back, but he doesn’t budge. Not even an inch. The water’s off now, and he’s still laughing—a rumble of a sound that hits all the right spots. “Okay, now truce.” Smartass.
I take a step back so I can glare at him. “Now?” I almost shout, pointing down myself. “Now is a little late, don’t you think?”
He groans, his head lolling back. “Dammit, Jamie, you’re not wearing a bra!”
As soon as he says it, I feel the cool air float across my hardened nipples. I cover them quickly, my eyes wide.
Holden… adjusts himself. Rolling his eyes, he states, his tone full of sarcasm, “Right, ‘cause that’s helpful.”
“Sorry,” I say through a giggle. I step forward again, my front almost touching his to hide my body.
He reaches forward, his arms curled around my neck as he brings me toward him, presses a kiss to my forehead. My eyes drift shut as we stay that way, my hands gripping his t-shirt. We seem to breathe each other in, memorizing the moment, knowing it won’t last. “Let me get you some clothes,” he says, pulling away. “I probably have something in my old room that fit me when I was ten.”
I stand taller. “I’m not that little.”
His smile is soft, endearing almost. “You’re pretty little.” And then he turns, squatting down slightly—a move he’s made so many times before—back when we were a we and the world hadn’t torn us to pieces. Without hesitating, I hike up my nightgown and jump on his back, wrapping myself around him. With his arms hooked behind my thighs, he effortlessly carries me through the greenhouse, out of the barn, and toward the house. It’s such a familiar move, one that fills my heart with warmth and longing for what we once were. “I always wondered what your childhood bedroom looked like,” I tell him, trying to keep my voice even.
It’s so still out. So tranquil. I don’t know what I’ll miss the most—this place specifically, Maggie, or the boy currently turning his head toward me, those green eyes of his twinkling beneath the moonlight.
“You never peeked in there?”
“Nope.”
He doesn’t say anything more as he opens the unlocked front door, then makes his way through the dark living room and to a hallway on the left. He flicks on the light, illuminating an entire wall lined with framed pictures of him and his family, some of him and Mia. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough time to appreciate them all because, too soon, we’re in what I assume is his old bedroom. There are two beds in here, pushed up against opposite walls. On the floor is a stack of puzzle boxes. There’s a chest of drawers, and beside it is a TV stand where the remaining dust shows where a TV used to be.
We don’t let go of each other as he opens and closes drawers to find something suitable. Then he carries me to his bathroom, flicking on the light before loosening his hold on me. I slide down his back and land on my feet, taking the offered clothes from him.
He doesn’t watch me dress like I half-thought he would. Instead, he closes the door between us.
I quickly change into sweatpants and a t-shirt, and when I come back out, Holden’s sitting on the edge of the bed, his head down. “I left my granny gown in there,” I joke. “It can be your trophy for winning the water fight.”
His shoulders shake with his slight chuckle.
“So, this is your old room?” I ask, looking around. His walls are bare, the floor scattered with random bits and pieces. It’s as if he came in like a whirlwind and took what he needed for his house and never came back.
“Yep.”
“I bet you’ve had a lot of nasty sex in here.”
His eyes snap to mine, brow bunched in the middle. “Why would you say that?”
“I’m sorry,” I say, scrunching my nose. “I don’t know…”
“I can’t even stand the idea of you with someone else, and you’re bringing up me fucking other girls like you’re not affected by it?”
“I said I’m sorry,” I breathe out, flopping down next to him. I keep my head low, swing my legs back and forth. “What does it matter how I feel? You and Brianna worked it out, right?”
“Who said that?” he asks, turning to me.
I face him. “You said that everything was good between you two, so…”
“Brianna and I broke up,” he says, facing forward as he leans back on his outstretched arms.
My stomach sinks. “When?”
“Yesterday morning.”
My eyes widen. “Because of me?”
He shrugs. “Not you, specifically. I mean, not because of what happened Friday night.”
“So, what then?”
“I don’t know,” he murmurs, glancing at me quickly before looking away again. “I guess having you here reminded me of what it felt like to actually want to be with someone.”
My heart soars, and it’s pathetic that it does because it doesn’t mean anything. “And I take it you didn’t feel like that with her?”
His shoulders lift as he states, “What Brianna and I had is complicated.”
“How so?” I don’t know why I’m asking all these questions. I just… I feel like I’ve already screwed with Holden’s life, and maybe, selfishly, I don’t want to be responsible for this element of it.
“I met Bri a long time ago—the summer before I met you—and we started hooking up. Whenever I was in town, we’d reconnect. Not when I was with you, and not for the year after you left,” he says, squeezing my thigh. He removes his hand quickly as if it shouldn’t be there. “It was never anything serious. We were never exclusive. But when I came back here to live, we just kind of picked up where we left off. Obviously, we liked each other enough to keep going back. I guess I assumed that things would be different this time. I thought we were together together, and she was still fucking Colton this entire time.”
I drop my head between my shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Holden.”
“It’s okay. I’m far more blindsided than hurt, and it doesn’t make that much of a difference. I broke it off before I even knew that part.” He faces me again. “You ready?”
“For what?”
He stands, his smile sparking my own. “Part two of our goodbye.”
27
Jamie
Part two of our goodbye means getting in his truck and driving away. We hit the main road, turn left, and enter the next driveway, far more hidden than the main one. It’s only when I see his house come into view that I realize where we are. Only he doesn’t stop at the house. Instead, he passes it, following the unpaved road another half a mile until we get to a clearing that I assume was once a small parking lot. He stops in front of a gate and turns to me, saying, “Wait here.”