“Well, that’s a little mean. Unless he gave himself that name, but if he didn’t and people just call him that…”
“I guess,” I murmur. “I never really thought about it, but you’re right.”
“I’m often right.” Jamie smiles. “Please continue…”
After a slow exhale, I tell her, “I wasn’t sure whether you would want another ring—especially since all the ones you wore were your mother’s, so I had him make it into this. That way, you could do what you want with it.” I carefully place the pendant on the table and slide it back toward her. “Remember that time when Mia was in the hospital, and I flew back here?”
Jamie nods, but she doesn’t speak.
“The only time I left her side was to pick this up from him, so I could give it to you when I got back… but then we found out Mia was pregnant, and I freaked and got scared, and well… you know the rest.”
Jamie’s eyes are soft, but they’re clear of the tears she’s been clinging to since she got here.
My shoulders lift with my long inhale. “So you went to an Al-Anon meeting?” I ask.
“Yeah.”
“How was it?”
“It was… good,” she replies, perking up a little. “I had a little breakthrough.”
“Yeah?”
Nodding, she says, “All this time I worried about becoming my mother… turns out we’re the opposite.”
It’s only now I realize that Jamie’s been here an entire week, and this is the first genuine conversation we’ve had. I’m also not oblivious to the fact that it’s entirely my fault it’s taken this long. “How so?”
“Well… my mom drank to drown out the pain of her punishment… and I drink as a form of punishment for my pain.” Her eyes meet mine, the acceptance in her smile making me lose my breath.
Before I can respond, Maggie appears in the doorway with Dad by her side. She claps her hands before rubbing them together. “I’m good now.”
Jamie’s quick to get up from her seat and move toward Maggie. “Oh, Mags. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” Maggie says, hugging her. “But don’t make me cry again, or else I’ll tie you down and force you to stay.” They separate at the same time, and then Maggie says, “Now, let’s enjoy our last night together.”
Last night together?
We eat dinner. Or everyone else does. I can barely chew my food, let alone swallow. And I don’t understand how everyone else is talking and laughing and acting as if this isn’t some life-altering news.
Jamie is leaving.
This is our
last
night
together…
They’re three simple words that seem to echo through my mind, like bombs exploding throughout my head, one after the other, and I can’t… I can’t fucking think. I stand so fast that my chair tips over, and I’m grabbing my keys and what little sense I can still hold on to. “I have to go.”
“Holden!” Maggie gasps, but I’m already out of the room.
Before I close the front door, I hear Dad say, “Let him go. He needs to work through it on his own.”
It’s three hours later when I knock on Jamie’s door, and I haven’t worked through shit. I don’t even know if I’d be standing here if I hadn’t emptied my pockets, only to realize I still had the fucking pill.
That’s a lie.
I went home, paced, tried to relax, tried to think about anything but her, and spent every minute convincing myself not to come back. I know I’d be here, pill or no pill.
I step back when the door comes right at me, and then she’s right there, freshly showered, short shorts and a tank top—no bra. Great. Without a word, I reach into my pocket, pull out the box, and hold it out between us.
“Thank you,” she says, grabbing it from me. “I wasn’t sure if you had it or not. I was going to get it tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow… once you leave here?”
She shakes her head, brow bunching in the middle. “I’m not leaving tomorrow.”
“But Maggie said—”
“It’s our last night together—me and Maggie—because she has that wedding tomorrow. I fly out on Monday morning.”
Monday morning.
Two more nights.
One full day.
My lungs kick back in as if remembering their purpose, and I inhale a full breath for the first time in three hours. “Can I come in?”
“Sure.” She opens the door wider, and I step inside her home for only the second time in an entire week. She has flattened boxes between the front seats, a few built with items already packed. I stand just inside the door as she takes a bottle of water from the small fridge, then swallows down the pill.
“The lady at the pharmacy said you could bleed, and maybe nausea or something…” This is the absolute last conversation I want to be having right now. “She said that if you vomit within the next twenty-four hours, then you need to go back and get another one because—”
“I got it,” she cuts in. “Thank you for doing that for me.”
“It’s kind of for the both of us, but whatever,” I mumble, looking around the tight space. I’m antsy. And confused. And so many other emotions that I’m pretty sure it’s fucking with the chemicals in my body because I feel sick. Like, physically ill.
“Are you okay?” she asks, eyeing me sideways. “You don’t look too good.”
“I’m…” A fucking mess. “What the hell happened today?”
She opens a drawer, pulls out its contents, and starts sorting them into boxes. “What do you mean?”
“I mean… you went to an Al-Anon meeting, and what? Decided that you need to get the hell out of here?”
“No,” she says through a giggle. “I realized it was time on the drive home after fucking on your girlfriend’s car.” She half turns to me. “I can speak to her if you want.”
Yeah, that’s exactly what I want. “And say what?” I scoff. “That we had sex and what? It meant nothing?”
“Is that what it meant to you?” she asks, and she’s so fucking calm, and I feel like I’m caught in a hurricane. Drowning. Slowly.
“I’m right fucking here, Jamie,” I snap. Then try to tamper my emotions. “I’m here talking to you about it because obviously it means something.”
“Then…” She huffs out a breath. “I’ll tell her that what happened between us doesn’t affect the way you feel about her.”
I dip my head just in time to hide my eye-roll. What happened between us changed everything about how I feel about Bri, just not in the way that Jamie thinks. “Brianna and I are good,” I mumble. “But thank you.”
She doesn’t respond, and when enough time passes, I look up to catch her watching me. “So, I need to talk to you about something,” she says.
I rub my eyes as I move to her bed, sit my ass down. “Go ahead.”
She continues with the packing, her back turned to me. “I don’t have anywhere to stay when I leave, so I was wondering if I could stay at Esme’s. I’ll pay you half the standard rent for—”