You may not realize it, but in a way you’re the one that saved me. I might be behind bars, but I wasn’t alive before the moment I saw you.
* * *
The one you saved,
Rocco
* * *
I set the letter down on the counter and for some reason I want to cry. I stare into space as I try to process all that he’s said and what it all means. I saved him? My heart pounds in my chest and when the microwave beeps again I nearly fall over on the stool.
I put my hand over my heart and blink a few times before I get up and rush over to my desk for pen and paper. If he wants another letter, then I’ll make sure he’s getting one every single day.
Six
LIZZY
I glance at the envelope that’s peeking out from inside of my purse and pray I got at least one picture right. I have no idea what came over me when I thought it would be a good idea to send a picture of myself. I went online and read the rules of what was allowed to be sent and knew a simple headshot would be fine. It’s what I wanted to send anyway, so it worked out.
Over the past week I’ve sent a letter to Rocco every day. It’s the one thing I know that I can do from here. Maybe he won't agree to see me yet, but I hope with time maybe I can talk him into it. One thing has gone around and around in my mind and it’s him thinking I ever had a frightened look on my face when I saw him. I hate that he thought that and I’m on a mission to show him that’s not true.
I went to the store and bought a disposable camera and I was surprised when I found one because I didn't know if they made them anymore. I ended up taking all twenty-four pictures, praying that one turned out good. I knew if I tried to do it with my phone I’d end up taking a million and wouldn’t like any of them. This way I had twenty-four to pick from and I had to decide which was best. I also wanted the picture to be real without filters or bunny ears or a crown. No matter how much I love those things, I want him to see me. I want him to see the look in my eyes I got when I thought about him.
I wonder how much of my hidden desire he’ll see, but I know it’s something that will never go anywhere. Rocco might look scary to some, but there’s no denying that he’s handsome. He’s rough around the edges and just looking at him I know his hands would be callused and worked hard. His grip would be firm if he grabbed me in the heat of passion.
My cheeks warm and I clench my thighs. My thoughts of Rocco are getting dirtier by the day. Not only that, but my dreams about him are starting to feel so real. I woke up this morning with my hands down my panties so close to cumming with his name on my lips. I need release in the worse kind of way. I’ve never been able to get there on my own before, but I’ve never had the image of Rocco in my mind to get me there. Now, I think I can because it won’t take much.
I take a breath and try to get myself together as I hit the close button on the garage door. I grab my purse and go inside to go through the pictures. I still have some time before the mailman comes and I want to get this out today. I’m not going to waste a day. I even made sure I sent two on Saturday, marking one with Sunday's date in the corner.
I lock the door behind me when I get inside and then set the alarm. When I get to the kitchen I dump the pictures out into the counter and my face flushes when I see them. I bite my lip when I see how I’m blushing in the pictures too. They aren't dirty and maybe it’s my mind tricking me into thinking they are. When I look at the pictures I think he might be able to tell that I was thinking of him and the dirty things he might do when he gets them.
I wanted to show him that I’m not afraid, but the more I look at them the more I wonder what he’ll think of them. My face is a little fuller because I’ve always been a thicker girl, but it never bothered me before now. I want him to find me pretty and maybe even sexy.
It’s hard to pick which one, so I close my eyes and let fate take its course. I don’t let myself look to see which one it is. I just put it into the envelope I already have ready to go. I lick the seam and seal it closed then press it to my chest. As crazy as it sounds I want the letter to hold some of what I’m feeling. I know it’s not possible but I still do it before giving it a kiss.
I don’t worry about grabbing my coat as I turn off the alarm and walk out the front door. I notice my sidewalk is clear of snow, as is my driveway. I hadn't noticed when I pulled up since my mind was on the pictures. I was planning to shovel mine along with Mrs. Honey’s, but it looks like someone did it. I wonder if Mrs. Honey’s son dropped by.
I put the envelope into the mailbox and raise the flag. I smile, and for once I welcome the cold because I need to cool down.
“Miss Elizabeth Lewis?” I glance over at the speaker. Only my parents call me Elizabeth.
“Yeah?” I look at the man in a suit standing outside of a very nice sedan. He’s on the shorter side and maybe only an inch over my own short stature.
“I’m here in regard to the check you received from the Conner family.” My body freezes for a moment at the sound of Gabe’s last name. “You haven't deposited the check you were given. I thought maybe you lost it, so I brought you another.” He holds out a check and I glance down at it. I don’t even want to touch it.
“I still have the check,” I tell him as I take a step back and let him know I don’t want it.
“Then have another.” He walks towards me and his hand comes out further, holding the check up for me. “Take the check, Elizabeth.”
There is a warning tone in his voice and I reach out and do as he asks. I’m scared of what would happen if I didn't. “Cash them,” he tells me before he walks back to his car.
He stops when he gets to his door and looks back at me. “If you know what’s good for you you’ll cash the checks and stop the calls,” he adds before he gets into his car and drives off.
I stand there for a moment gripping the stupid check in my hand before going back inside. I lock the door and set the alarm before I put the check on the counter. I’m not going to stop with the phone calls until an innocent man is released from prison.
I’ll cash the checks and put the money into the bank, but I’m going to make sure it’s spent doing some good.
Seven
ROCCO
I’ve been getting a letter from her every day and the anticipation of each one kills me. I have to force myself to wait until the end of the day so that I have something to keep me going. I wanted to tear into each of them the moment they came, but I figured out if I waited until night time I could savor them before I fell asleep. Then in the morning when I read them again it was almost as if I dreamed about them, dreamed about her.
The one that came today had an entirely different feeling to it. It felt heavy when I held it in my hand and it wasn’t just the weight of the envelope. It felt like this one was important and I made sure that I didn’t open it until lights out.
I look through the bars and a small shaft of light comes through. I hold up the envelope and look over it as I trace each letter with my finger. It’s like she’s writing more than just my name. It’s like she’s tattooing her need to talk to me into the paper. Maybe I’m reading too much into it because I’ve never had someone write me letters before. But this is the most intimate I’ve ever been with someone and she has no idea what these letters do to me.