Maybe I’ll try and send them again once the others stop getting returned. I don’t know what’s happening, but I refuse to stop writing. I’ll send one every day, knowing that it’s going to come back to me, because I won’t quit on him. Ever. He’ll never doubt that I wasn’t in this for the long haul and that he isn’t in this fight alone. I knew what it felt like to be alone and I never wanted him to feel that way.
I pick up the letter I wrote today and unlock the front door. I carry it out to the mailbox and put up the flag, but before I go inside I glance over at Mrs. Honey’s house. She’s staying with her son for a few days, and seeing the lights off at her house makes me feel lonelier than normal.
I go to walk back inside but freeze when I see a man standing up against a black SUV two houses down. He’s looking right at me and he doesn’t turn away when I notice him. He’s openly staring at me and he doesn’t care that I’ve caught him. This is the third time today I thought I saw the same vehicle and now this guy.
I take a deep breath and try to get my heart rate under control. I’m not letting someone intimidate me. I turn to face him and begin to approach him. He stands a little taller and he looks shocked that I’m going to address him.
“Is there something I can help you with?” I ask, my tone brisk and direct.
“No.” He responds just as curtly.
“Well, I suggest you move along or do whatever it is you’re here to do before I call the cops.”
I square my shoulders and narrow my eyes. I won’t be backed into a corner and intimidated by a man ever again.
“I’m just standing here.” I see his jaw tick and he’s irritated by me confronting him.
“Then you can stand there when the cops get here.” I walk back into my house and lock the door. I set the alarm and then walk over to the window and I peek out. I look up and down the street and see he’s gone and I feel relieved.
I wonder if I should call Mike and tell him about the man. When my head starts to ache I know what I really need and it’s a long soak in the master bathroom swimming pool. It’s actually just a tub, but it could be a pool by how big the thing is. Maybe if I get in some hot water I can calm down and figure out what I need to do next. All I really want to do is fall to the ground and cry, but I know I’ll have to pick myself up again and I don’t have the energy. I long for a day when I can fall and someone will be there to catch me. I want that person to be Rocco.
I clean up the dinner I made for myself then go upstairs. I pause for a moment to look around the place I call home. Over the past few weeks I’ve made it a touch more mine, but something is still missing. My heart screams that it’s Rocco and I know nothing will ever be home until I can be with him.
As I take the stairs I look at the wall and think about how it would be lined with pictures of the family I could have with him. The whole house would be filled with pictures, which is so unlike the one I grew up in.
These fantasies take hold in my heart and I wonder if I’m only making this harder on myself. All these dreams of what our life could be like together with a man who told me not to come back to see him. Am I completely delusional? Maybe he had some kind of realization that we'd never work. He’s always trying to talk me out of being with him. Maybe this is his way of doing what he thinks is best for me. I wish he would fight for us too, but if I have to do it alone I will.
After I’ve run the water, I soak in the bath and debate if I should go back to see him after he told me not to. He could refuse to come out of his cell, but I’m sure that if he knew I was there he would show up.
I close my eyes for a moment and fantasize about what would happen. This time there are no guards or anyone else to watch over us. I picture him stripping me naked and bending me over the cold metal table. I imagine his big rough hand slapping my ass for going against his orders. My body heats at the idea, and I moan as I slip my hand between my legs.
I imagine him dropping to his knees behind me and kissing every spot he turned red. Once that was done he’d flip me over and take what belongs to him, what I’ve saved for him. I’ll die a virgin if it isn't him taking it.
I let out another small moan as I pull my hand away. I want so badly to touch myself while I think about him, but I won’t do it. I only want him to touch me there.
With a sigh I drain the tub and grab the towel off the hook. Exhaustion hits me hard and I don’t bother getting dressed as I fall onto the massive bed and check my phone to make sure my alarm is set.
When I look at the time on my phone I notice the date and see that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. With a sigh I put it on the nightstand and roll onto my side. This time I don’t fight the tears and I let them pull me into sleep.
I don’t know how long I’m under before I jerk awake. Someone is in the house.
Fourteen
ROCCO
I’m surprised by how dark it is when I open the door. I walk into the kitchen and turn the light over the stove on and then set my keys on the counter. I already knew the alarm code because it’s the same one I set before I was locked up.
I was in solitary for four days, and when I got out I realized they must have returned any letters Lizzy sent me. No way would she have stopped writing. She was the one that got me out of that black hole. Because she’d been calling and petitioning every person she could in our state I was all over the radar when the guy attacked me. My lawyer heard they had me in solitary and got me out as soon as he found out. Then he talked with the new judge on my case and got the charges of assault in the shower thrown out. After that he had the charges from my case before thrown out because of witness tampering and lack of evidence.
The Conner family tried to have me put back in and raised hell, but there was nothing left for them to do. They’d been found out along with the judge at my first trial. He was disbarred for corruption and obstruction of justice and this all happened in a matter of days.
I haven’t talked to Lizzy the whole time, but there wasn’t any way to tell her. They wanted me kept as quiet as possible, so they locked down all my communication so even if she had tried to visit me I would have never known. I stayed up all night thinking about how hurt she must be that I haven’t written back and her letters were returned to sender. I can’t stand the thought of her thinking that I don’t want her, because it’s all I want.
They let me out in the middle of the night as quietly as possible. I think the Conner family is hoping that I stay silent and keep my head down about all this. I smile to myself as I think about what I’ve got in store for them, because they haven’t seen or heard the last of me. I won’t do anything that will take me away from my girl again, but I’ve got hands in enough places to keep them miserable for a very long time.
My clothes are foreign against my skin because it’s been so long since I’ve had them on. My body is hot and tight and I know it’s because she’s here. She’s upstairs in my bed, and I know I’m going to go to her. The question is, just what will she do when I get there?
I pull off my shirt and toss it on the floor as I kick off my boots and socks. My jeans hang low around my waist as I make my way to the stairs, and while I walk, my cock hangs heavy between my legs.