Rage.
It flows through my veins, charring everything in its path, the fire inside me being suffocated until it’s nothing but glowing embers. Family and friends gather around to bid farewell to the one they love. The one ripped from us too soon. My fist clenches as I listen to those around me cry their fake tears, whispering about age-old memories they wouldn’t have remembered if not for the current circumstance. And when they lower the casket into the ground, the last honorable part of me goes along with it.
Nothing but malice remains.
And mark my words.
I’m going to find him.
And I’m going to skin him alive.
Present Day
Firetrucks and an ambulance fill the street as we pull up. Onlookers stand across the street and watch the destruction unfold before their eyes. Flames rip through the house, destroying everything they touch and leaving behind nothing but soot and ash in its place. And the only thing I can think of is Saxon walking up those front porch steps not even fifteen minutes ago.
A window on the top floor shatters. Pieces of glass rain down as the fire bursts through the opening. I jump out of the car and take in the scene before me.
Firefighters dousing the leaping flames.
EMTs waiting dutifully at the ambulance.
A single police officer standing across the street to make sure people stay a safe distance away.
What I don’t see, however, is any sight of Saxon.
I spare a glance at Nico only to find him staring in shock at the house he shared with his sister. Beni runs around the front of the car and the two of us share a look that silently says what we’re both thinking.
If there’s any chance of saving Saxon, we have to do it ourselves.
He follows behind me as I run toward the house, only to be stopped by a firefighter with a complex. He’s doing nothing useful for anyone, just standing there barking orders while his men bust their asses doing the real work.
“Are you looking to get yourself killed?” he asks me. “Leave the heroics to the professionals.”
I try to pass him, but he pushes me back with a hand on my chest. Smacking it away at his wrist, I glare at him.
“My girl is in there!”
He gives me a sorrowful look. “Sir, while I feel deeply for you, no one is allowed to enter that house. Neighbors reported gunshots before the fire started, and we don’t know if the shooter is still inside.”
A darkness settles over me as I grin and Beni slots himself between me and Mr. Hero Complex. “Oh, I hope like hell they are.”
With Beni blocking him, I ignore the calls of protest behind me and run into the burning house. The smoke makes it impossible to see—or breathe. I quickly pull my shirt up over my mouth in an attempt to filter the air a little better.
“Saxon!” I shout, but I hear nothing except the crackling of the wood. “Sax!”
Beads of sweat start to form across my forehead from the overwhelming heat. I wipe it away with my sleeve and try calling out for her again, only to be met with the same response. Nothing.
“Get the fuck out of there!” someone bellows from outside.
But I can’t.
I won’t.
Not without Saxon.
The sound of something crashing beside me has me dropping down to shield for cover, but as I do, my foot slips out from under me and my hands catch my fall. They feel wet. Coated in a familiar substance. And my heart sinks when I immediately know what it is.
No.
I drop down further only to find a puddle of blood, and in the middle of it is Saxon. She’s unconscious. Her pale skin is waxy, devoid of the life it held only hours ago when I last saw her, and the amount of blood on the floor sends a shot of pain through my chest I haven’t felt in decades.
It’s brutal.
Excruciating.
Overwhelming.
Picking Saxon up in my arms, I hold her close to my chest and carry her outside. I try not to pay attention to how light she feels, or how lifeless, but it’s there in the background—screaming at my subconscious.
Two EMTs rush over from the ambulance while the third opens the back of the ambulance and grabs the stretcher. As one reaches to take her from me, I give him a look that dares him to touch her.
“I’ve got her,” I growl.
They follow me over to the ambulance as I lay her down on the stretcher. Immediately, they get to work on her. All of the blood makes it hard to locate where it’s coming from, but they move quickly.
“Pulse is weak,” the one barks.
The second lifts her shirt just slightly to check her stomach, and that’s when he sees it. “Two bullet holes in the lower abdomen. We’re losing her. We have to get her to the hospital, and fast.”
As they work together loading the stretcher into the ambulance, I look down at my suit to find I’m covered in blood. And even worse, I’m covered in her blood. And just like that, I’m ten years old again and reliving one of the worst days of my life.
“Sir, are you coming?”
I snap my attention back where it’s needed and climb into the ambulance. I turn to Beni, who stares anxiously at Saxon’s motionless body.
“Meet us at the hospital,” I demand.
He nods, and just as the EMT closes the doors, my eyes meet Nico’s.
I’ll deal with him later.
THE WAITING ROOM IS a grim place, filled with many different people all feeling the same emotion. Fear. There aren’t a lot of things that scare me in the world. And after everything I’ve been through, no one could blame me for that. But losing the one woman who can silence my demons with just the sound of her name? That scares the fucking shit out of me.
Beni comes in to find me pacing the room, running my fingers through my hair without realizing that they’re still stained red from her blood. He rushes over to me, and I can already tell he’s feeling the same thing I am right now, only less intensely.
“What’s going on?” he questions. “Is she going to be okay?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. She’s in surgery.”
Chaos and danger are things I have always handled well, but not today. Today my stomach churns with the unknown and my body feels like it could give out at any given moment. I’m running on nothing but straight adrenaline and crippling anxiety.
“Shit,” he murmurs, mainly to himself. “Have they given you any information at all?”
“No. She flatlined twice in the ambulance, and when we got here, they rushed her straight into surgery,” I explain. “I was told to wait here, but how the fuck am I just supposed to sit here and wait?”
He pulls his phone out of his pocket and brings it to his ear. “Bring a change of clothes for Kage to Langone Hospital. Call me when you get here.”
As he hangs up the phone, he looks at me and exhales. “She’s strong as hell. She’s going to pull through this.”
And I want to believe him, but after watching her die twice, I’m afraid to hope.
I MANAGE TO FIND a way to distract myself. Now, is it healthy that I’m thinking of everything humanly possible to find Viola? Probably not. And are the things I’m imagining doing to her going to get me a ticket into heaven? Definitely not, but it’s also not like my fate wasn’t already sealed. One more brutalized body is not going to tip the scales.