Now that I’m alone, and O’Brien’s not here to dominate my thoughts, they start to run rampant, the image of the dead girl the first to haunt me.
Shame and guilt chase me from the bathroom, but unable to leave the cabin, I start to pace up and down the small space.
The door swings open, and expecting to see O’Brien shock stuns me when two men come in.
No.
Panic floods my veins like poison ivy, my skin crawling, and my heart stuttering, and before I can try to come up with a plan, I’m grabbed and forcefully taken to the cross.
“No!” I shout, my survival instinct kicking into overdrive. I begin to kick and desperately try to free my arms, but without much effort, I’m cuffed against the cross.
Just as quickly as they came, the two men leave, my mind reeling and trying to catch up with what’s happening.
Harrowing thoughts start to surface, and I can only think of one reason I’m tied to the cross again, and it has nothing to do with O’Brien fucking me.
God. No.
Calm down, JJ. You need to shut down.
I hear voices, and closing my eyes, I calm my breaths and try to force my mind to go blank.
When the door opens, shutting down is no longer an option as my eyes fly open and my heart starts to hammer against my ribs.
Zef Rama comes into the cabin, a smug smirk on his face. Yesterday I didn’t take much in of him, but now I see his dead eyes, his sharp features, giving me the impression of a vulture ready to pick my bones clean.
He glances from me to the door as O’Brien follows him inside, then he chuckles, “Time to test your loyalty, Laze.”
My eyes lock on O’Brien, and God, even though I wish he could save me, I know there’s nothing he can do.
Keeping my eyes on the man I love, I try to brace myself for what’s coming. I try to convince myself it will be him touching me.
Chapter 20
O'Brien
Seeing JJ strapped to the cross again, my heart all but stops.
Rama lets out a taunting chuckle. “Time to test your loyalty, Laze.”
Christ, no, no, no, no.
In slow motion, my eyes swing to him, his gaze sharp and watching me for my reaction.
I feel men behind me and know none of them will hesitate to kill me if I try to fight Rama.
Then it sinks in. He’s going to rape JJ, and he expects me to stand and watch. For the second time since I boarded this yacht, my stomach bottoms out, but this time it keeps falling into the deepest pits of hell.
I promised I’d protect her.
Shit.
Just keep her alive.
Rama steps closer to JJ, his eyes roving over her, then he glances at me. “Do you have a problem with me sampling your woman?”
Fuck yes, I do.
My fingers fist at my sides, my muscles tightening and ready to attack, but my need to keep JJ alive keeps me rooted to the spot. Bile pushes up as I force the damning word out, “No.”
How the fuck am I going to stand and watch Rama rape the woman I love?
I shut the thought down before it can take root, my jaw clenching as my eyes lock with JJ’s. I see her desperation, her panic, her raw fear, and there’s nothing I can fucking do.
Jesus Christ, help me.
Rama steps up to her, the smirk fading from his face until only the emotionally dead monster remains. “Look at me,” he orders JJ, and when she keeps her eyes on me, he backhands her across the face.
My body reacts, and I take two steps forward before catching myself. “You don’t get to fucking mark her,” I growl, fire and brimstone glowering in my voice.
JJ moves her jaw to ease the ache, then her eyes lock on mine again.
Focus on me, baby.
When Rama notices she’s looking at me again, he chuckles, then shrugs, “I don’t mind sharing.” He undoes his belt, and the sickening sound of his zip going down makes the bile froth in the back of my throat.
He shoves JJ’s dress up, and when her body jerks from him entering her, my entire world implodes. She presses her lips together, her face paling horribly, the light in her eyes instantly dimming.
An agonizing pain, unlike anything I’ve felt before, shatters through me like pieces of glass. Slashing and fucking slashing until I’m a bloody mess.
I’m sorry, JJ. Christ, I’m so fucking sorry.
Her body jerks with each thrust, my soul darkening until it’s a black hole sucking everything in that was good in my life. My body burns up with rage until it feels like I’m on fire.
It fucking breaks me, and I know this is the end of me. There’s no way I’ll be able to live with failing JJ.
She doesn’t make a single sound. She doesn’t have to because the tears spiraling down her cheeks are enough to grind me to dust.
Time warps and stretches. I lose sense of my surroundings. I become nothing but a speck of ash as the woman I love is violated right in front of my eyes.
Rama’s movements become more violent, her body jerking horribly. His hands grope her breasts roughly through the black fabric, a fucking sadistic sneer on his face.
Our eyes remain locked, and it feels as if JJ’s screaming internally. Daniel!
‘I’m here, Julie,’ I mouth to her. ’Focus on me.’
And she does, letting me see her horror and devastation. It connects us in a way I’ve never been connected to anything before. Her pain becomes my pain. Her fear, my fear.
Rama grunts. JJ jerks hard. Then he finally stills.
I hear him zip up before he walks toward me. Stopping right next to me, he leans a little in. “I expected more fire.” He leaves, and still, I stare at JJ.
When the door shuts behind me, her eyes fall shut, and she starts to take ragged breaths. Her face tightens with revulsion, her mouth opens in a silent scream, then sobs convulse through her.
I dart forward, and just like yesterday after I raped her, I untie her ankles and wrists. Her body slumps against mine, and we both sink down to the carpet.
JJ’s limp against me, all her strength converted into trembles and devastated gasps and wails.
Wrapping my body around hers, I start to rock us, and pressing my mouth to her hair, a tortured groan tears from me.
Unable to keep my emotions shut down as the love of my fucked up life breaks in my arms, I whisper, “I’m so fucking sorry.”
The past two days roll like boulders over us, crushing everything in their path. Me. JJ. The long hours of work we’ve put into this case. The bond we formed. Her innocence. My honor. It crushes and crushes until nothing remains but her broken wails.
I’m unable to let go of her, even after she quiets down. She remains slumped against me, the only sign she’s conscious, the forlorn breaths faltering over her lips.
I hear a helicopter landing, and still, I can’t move a muscle.
Nothing matters anymore.
Not my job.
Not my life.
Nothing.
I should’ve fought for her, even if it meant they’d kill me.
A commotion erupts outside the cabin. The door bursts open. “Hands where we can see them!” Arms grab me, and I’m yanked away from JJ and pressed hard into the carpet. A knee is shoved into my back, and cuffs are slapped around my wrists.
I deserve this.
“NoNoNo,” JJ whimpers, her voice weak and hoarse.
I’m hauled to my feet, and JJ’s face contorts with desperation as she reaches out to me. She lets out a harrowing scream, and I feel it quaking through my fucking bones as I’m dragged out of the cabin and shoved down the corridor.