Savage picked up the bottle of lotion and began to rub very gently along her ribs while he waited for her answer. Those marks were the lightest and would bother her the least when he touched them.
“You weren’t too rough, Savage. I wanted you to take me exactly the way you did.” There was a little break in her voice. “I needed you to.”
She kept her head tilted away from him even when she made her little confession. Her hair was all over the place, the thick honeyed strands like falls of silk, hiding her expression, but he knew her all too well now. She was confused with her body’s reaction—with her mind’s reaction.
Savage was careful of the darker red stripes on her ass, the ones that made his cock want to stir all over again. He soothed those lines tenderly. “Let me finish here, baby, then I can hold you. We’ll talk this out. I know you’re feeling a little confused right now.”
He moved faster, still keeping his touch as light as possible while rubbing the lotion in. “I don’t want any bruises on you. It had to feel like you were going to bruise a couple of times, didn’t it? Tell me how these made you feel when I was lashing you.” He rubbed the ones along the curve closest to the heat of her pussy and then leaned down to press kisses over the dark streaks.
Her legs moved restlessly. She didn’t answer him. He let that go while he rubbed the lotion into the stripes along the backs of her thighs. When he was finished, he moved up in the bed until he was the one with his back to the headboard and he could pull her into his arms. He still had the front of her to cover in lotion, those small strips, but holding her was much more important. She needed it, and so did he.
She resisted, just for a moment, and then he had her cuddling close to him, burying her face against his chest. He could feel the shaking of her body as she wept silent tears.
“Baby, what did I tell you about your tears?” He stroked a caress down her hair, his palm taking in the entire back of her head.
He felt the twitch of her lips, and she tilted her head just enough to give him a watery smile. He knew she’d smile at his demand. “You. They belong to you. I’ve got to warn you. I think I turned the water works on.”
He bent his head and sipped at the ones on her face, his tongue following the path to the corners of her mouth. Bog. There was no possible way to love a woman more. None. His heart felt like it was coming out of his chest. He cradled her head to him so gently. Even tenderly.
“Never loved another woman in my life, Seychelle. Only you. Never will again. Not saying you’re getting a bargain, baby, but I swear to you, you’re it for me. I’ll do whatever it takes. Talk to me, angel. That’s how this works. You have to tell me how you’re feeling.”
Her gaze started to shift away from his, but he shook his head. “Look at me. We’re in this together. Remember? I’m right here.” He brushed kisses on her mouth, her nose and both eyes. “We talk it out.”
She nodded and took a little breath. “I don’t understand why I’m like this.”
He could hear the tears in her voice and see them in her mind. He stroked gentle caresses down the back of her scalp. Stayed silent. Waiting for the dam to burst.
“You knew I was like this, didn’t you?”
He wasn’t certain if that was an accusation or she was happy about it. “I suspected you would react to the things I needed from you, Seychelle.” He pressed kisses up her shoulder to her ear. “I didn’t know, but I suspected. I hoped. And yes, I tested you.”
A little shiver went through her body, and she pressed a fist to her mouth to muffle the sound of her crying.
Savage slid down the mattress onto his back, lifted her and turned her into his chest so that she sprawled over the top of him. She tried to fight him for a moment, but he was strong and much bigger.
“Settle down, baby. Let me hold you while we talk this out. You have questions, and that’s natural. I want to answer them for you. Put your head on my chest and relax.” He cupped the back of her head, urging her to do just what he said.
“I don’t understand. How can I be like this? The whip really hurt, but the more it hurt, the more I wanted you. The more I had to have you. The sensations got all mixed up in my brain—pain and pleasure, until it just burned so much all I could think about was needing you.”
His heart lurched, and damn him to hell, but his cock jerked. He ran his palm down her spine, careful this time to avoid those marks on her back. It took control, but he did it. “Baby, this is a good thing, not a bad thing. We both wanted this. If you didn’t like it, we’d be in trouble. I took you further today than maybe we really should have gone only because I’m trained in this shit and really, really good at what I do, and you love me enough to trust me to take you there. The combination allowed us to go this far fast.” He spread kisses over her bare shoulder. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Seychelle. I took you there.”
“I do love you that much, Savage, but I didn’t expect to react so …” She trailed off and heat rose under her skin. Confusion reached her eyes all over again.
“Tell me,” he encouraged. “It’s just the two of us, angel.”
A little smile tipped the corners of her mouth, and she looked mischievous. His cock reacted with a hard jerk. Growing hot. A little too hard.
“I don’t think I’m all that angelic at the moment, Savage. The thing is, eventually when that whip hit my skin, and it hurt, it also felt like a streak of fire straight to my … um … straight right there to my sex.”
Savage laughed. He couldn’t help it. Bog, she was beautiful. A joy. Perfection. “Your pussy, baby. Although I’m claiming it. So, when the whip landed you felt a streak of fire going straight to your sweet little pussy.”
She nodded, albeit reluctantly. Her fingers played nervously in the sheets, and he caught them, threading his fingers through hers—calming her, rubbing their combined hands along his hip. Establishing that they were together always. In everything. Good or bad.
“I just kept getting more turned on, but it didn’t make sense, not when it hurt so much. There was all this heat. My blood was pounding through my entire body, but mostly through, you know, there, and I couldn’t stop needing you. All I could think about was you. Having you inside me.”
She was whispering. Even after he’d been a maniac, a fucking psycho, with her, she still couldn’t say “pussy.”
“Are you embarrassed because you wanted me, baby?”
“I just didn’t think it would be like that. So consuming. I felt almost crazy, like I’d do anything for you just to have you inside me. That’s scary, Savage. I’m not that woman.”
“Giving up control is always scary, Seychelle. Trust is essential in a sexual relationship like ours. What you’re giving me is a power exchange, and I’m not going to lie to you, sweetheart: for me, you handing me that kind of control, that kind of power over you, is a rush. For a man like me, it’s better than any drug ever manufactured. Having you submit to me, seeing my marks on you, knowing you’re giving me that willingly, that’s the ultimate.”
He nuzzled the top of her head and then held her eyes, needing her to see that he was more serious about this than anything else. “For me, babe, that rush can get out of control when I’m in a bad place. It’s absolutely essential that you know your limits and that you call me on my shit. You stop us when you’re done. You put your entire trust in me, Seychelle, but I have to put mine in you. I have to know that when I’m in that black hole you’re going to be the one to keep both of us from going to a place we can’t get back from.”