“Let’s open number two,” she says.
The second present is a Monopoly Unicorn edition board game, and there’s a small stuffed unicorn doll next to it. I have to give it to him. He’s good at buying gifts.
When he hands her the third one, Zach says, “That’s from your mom.”
I frown.
She opens it carefully, trying not to rip the rose-gold paper. The white box doesn’t give us any clue as to what’s inside. The buildup inside me grows. What did he buy that I gave her? I want to snatch the box and open it fast, but I wait.
Carefully, she opens the top. She pulls out a gray elephant with long ears.
“You got me an African elephant,” she says excitedly as she hugs it tight. “Thank you, Mom.”
“There’s more inside,” Matilda says anxiously.
She pulls out a miniature elephant and a colorful cardboard paper.
“You bought me a real elephant!” she says as she reads it.
I look closer at the paper. It’s a certificate of adoption. I glare at Zach, who shrugs.
“Can I meet Emma, my elephant?”
“They’ll send you pictures of her periodically, but you can’t meet her in person. We could take a trip to San Diego and have a personalized tour around the zoo.”
“No. We can’t.” My voice comes out more forceful than I meant it to be.
Matilda looks at me with those cute blue eyes of hers that remind me so much of Pax. It’s almost impossible to say no to her. “Please, Mommy.”
Aiden shakes his head. “Zach, you and I need to have a drink before you continue to set a bad precedent.”
“I’m just trying to help.”
“Sure, but this isn’t helping. Please, walk with me.”
“Aiden, stop. I can handle this.” I try to sound calm, but I’m angry. “Thank you so much for your kindness, Zach.”
Matilda smiles at him. “Thank you, Mr. Zach. I love my presents.”
“I’m glad. And as much as I’d love to stick around and help clean or listen to the Wickerton siblings lecture me, I need to go. Teddy and I are heading to a charity gala. I’m her plus-one.”
Okay, so he’s leaving, and I should be okay with that. Then why do I want to ask him to stay a couple of hours or come to my house to talk? All I can muster up is, “I’ll walk you to the door.”
“Happy Birthday, Matilda,” he says again. “I hope you have a wonderful year ahead of you.”
“Thank you, Mr. Zach.”
“Miranda, it was a pleasure to meet you. Aiden, let’s get together soon, okay?” He waves at everyone and follows me toward the main door.
Once we’re outside and away from Matilda, I say, “That was really nice of you, but you shouldn’t have done it. It sets a bar that I’ll never be able to reach.”
“Did you look at her face? She was happy. That was my goal for the day, and I accomplished it.” There’s a special light to him when he says it.
“I appreciate it more than you can imagine, but—”
“I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“The worst part is that I’m not sure why I’m upset.”
He kisses my cheek. His lips linger longer than a second. I can smell that fresh woodsy scent that’s characteristic of him. My instinct says to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. It’d be a quick peck on those lips. I just want to know how it feels to be kissed by Zach St. James. Either I’m a coward, or my common sense is too alert to let me do something dumb. Instead, I take a step back.
“Take care of yourself, Autumn. I’ll see you around, okay?”
“Thank you,” I repeat, hugging myself.
It feels like he’s saying goodbye.
Matilda doesn’t let Emma and Elisa go. She sleeps with her new elephants. I exchanged some texts with Zach before falling asleep.
The following day, she enters the kitchen carrying them both.
“Morning, Mom.”
“Did you have a good night’s sleep, pumpkin?”
Showing me her elephants, she says, “We did. I liked Zach. He could be a good dad.”
I spit out my coffee. “What are you talking about?”
“That’s what I’m going to ask Santa.”
Grabbing onto the counter, I ask, “What exactly are you asking Santa for?”
“A dad like Zach.”
“Well, Santa doesn’t bring people.”
We’re at the point where she likes to pretend Santa is still real so she can receive presents, and I want to keep the spirit alive because I don’t want my baby to grow older. We both know the truth, but it doesn’t hurt to believe in miracles, does it?
To lighten things up, I say, “Also, Zach is too big to fit inside Santa’s big sack.”
“I’m not saying Zach, silly. I just want a guy who makes you smile the way he did yesterday. You looked happy.”
“No. I was happy because we were celebrating your birthday, and I didn’t have to work.”
“Are you working today?”
“No. I asked for the entire weekend off.”
She grins, wrapping her arms around my waist. “Thank you. That’s the best present of all of the presents.” I hug her back, wondering how I can make it so I don’t have to work at the bar anymore.
Matilda needs me, and I don’t want to miss this time with her. One day, she’s going to turn eighteen, leave the house, and all I’ll have from her childhood will be car trips from the house to school or my family’s home.
The miracle would be to be able to spend more time with her and see her grow.
Chapter Eighteen
Zach
Part of my very pathetic life includes being at home around eight on a Saturday night. There’s no gala or party to attend. It was just a lame excuse to run away from a place where I was beginning to feel comfortable. Sure, I could’ve stayed at Matilda’s party longer, but between Aiden’s murderous glare and Autumn…
Fuck, Autumn. I want to kiss her. Crush her lips with mine and devour her like she’s my last and only meal. I want to tangle my hands in her hair and thrust my tongue into her the same way I want to do with my cock. Mouths. Tongues. Hands. Bodies. Everything linking, connecting, fusing.
Autumn Wickerton keeps cycling through my mind as I drive toward my place. Our conversation last Saturday and the brief texts we exchanged during the week.
Old Zach would head to a bar like Silvermoon or a nightclub. I could call Burke, who might be at a party or somewhere he can score for the night. Instead, I park my car in the garage and head toward my room, where I pull out my computer. There has to be a project to keep me entertained for the rest of the weekend.
Two hours later, Burke’s voice resonates through the entire house. I’m about to leave the dining room when I hear the commotion.
“You were right. He’s working.” I look up to find my eldest brother, Kingston.
“What’s up, asshole?”
He shows me two bottles of Macallan 25. “We’re here to play poker. Are you going to join us?”
I set the computer on the coffee table. “Who is us?”