"I don't believe that. You had to have wished that at some point."
"I didn't want it to be either of you. I wished I'd been the one to disappear." He took a long draught of his beer. "Getting back to the road you were on—it is close to the Chadwick house. Did being in the house trigger any memories?"
"No. It felt a little weird, but that's because of what happened with Carter. I still can't believe he might die. Even though I don't like what he and Kelsey did, I want him to live."
"The way you feel about Carter might change."
I read the meaning in his eyes, and I frowned, not wanting to go down that road. "Well, we'll have to see how this all plays out." I sipped my water, then added, "When I was talking to Gloria in the kitchen, she said something interesting. She told me that Sheriff Ryan came to the Chadwick house several times in the days after Melanie disappeared. It made her nervous to know he was questioning them so intently, which makes me think you weren't the only one who was suspicious of Gage. Obviously, the sheriff had some concerns."
"If he did, he didn't write them down. There was only one interview with Gage in the police report, and it was conducted in the sheriff's office."
"What about the other Chadwicks?"
"Carter and Preston both made brief statements, also in the sheriff's office. Eileen and Sean did a joint interview at their home, but they basically corroborated their kids' stories. There's barely a page devoted to the entire family and what they had to say. If he had numerous interviews with them, he didn't record their conversations."
"That's interesting. Gloria also said that she hopes Ben will be a better sheriff than his father, because Tom Ryan had a reputation for playing favorites. Anyone who was a rich tourist or who donated to one of his pet causes got special treatment."
"That was definitely true. All the locals were aware of his favoritism. That's why I got so angry with the slow pace of the investigation. That's why I took matters into my own hands, why I barged into the Chadwick house and punched Gage in the face."
"You're lucky you weren't charged with assault."
"It would have been worth it." He paused. "Gloria should have told me and my parents that the sheriff was talking to the Chadwicks."
"I'm sure she thought he was filling you in. But I'm also sure she didn't want to risk losing her job."
"Loyalty breeds silence," he muttered. "Or maybe I should just say money."
"You can probably buy silence," I agreed. "But no one bought me off."
"No one suggested it was better if you didn't remember?"
I thought about his question. "Actually, my mother suggested that. She thought it would be better for my mental health if I could just forget and move on. Of course, I couldn't do that."
"Did you even get punished for getting wasted and blacking out?"
"I was grounded for two weeks when we went home. But that meant nothing to me. I didn't want to go out, anyway. I didn't want to do anything ever again. My parents forced me to go to college after that. It was a terrible time for me. I didn't have any friends. I couldn't stop thinking about Melanie. I didn't want to drink, which made me super unpopular, and I had no passion for anything anymore. I didn't want to take pictures, not even of the other girls in my dorm. I drifted along that first year, making just good enough grades to not get kicked out. While I didn't love school, I definitely didn't want to end up at home with my parents." I took a sip of water. "Did you go back to college that September?"
"No, I took the first quarter off. By the end of the year, my parents insisted I return to school. I was driving them crazy. I was driving myself crazy, too, so I left. Sometimes, I think that was a big mistake. I let the trail get too cold. By the time I got back to the investigation, too many years had gone by."
"You're investigating now, and you're getting further than you did before."
"I don't want the truth to come at Kelsey's expense, Willow. I really don't."
"I believe you. I don't want that to happen, either." I sat back as the server dropped off two steaming bowls of crab chowder as well as an appetizer of crab cakes. "This looks good."
"My mother is pulling out all the stops."
"She must be happy you're home."
"She would have preferred if my visit wasn't tied into the wedding. She didn't think it would be good for me to see all of you again."
"Or for us to see you," I said.
He tipped his head with a small smile. "Exactly."
I scooped up a spoonful of soup and blew on it before taking a taste. "It's wonderful—smooth and warm, exactly the way I like it. This chowder was one of Melanie's favorites."
"It was a family specialty. The recipe came down from my grandmother."
"Melanie said a lot of the restaurant recipes came from your mom's mom, that your grandmother had been a chef in a seafood restaurant in France a long time ago."
"She was very talented. She died when I was seven. I don't have a lot of memories of her, but I remember her food."
"Do you cook?" I asked curiously.
"Not really. I can make some basic meals, but that's about it."
"Too busy working?"
"I have been called a workaholic," he admitted. "Especially the last few years, when I became more obsessed with finding out what happened to Melanie and trying to do my job at the same time."
"It's cool that you became a reporter, the way you always thought you would. Not that I'm surprised. You were always ambitious and goal oriented. I remember that article you wrote for the Hawk Island Press about the scandal at the library."
He nodded. "The librarian embezzled money from the book sales and fundraisers to the tune of almost twenty-thousand dollars. It was my first exposé."
"I was impressed, even though your story bumped my incredible photo of a northern pintail off the front page."
His eyes filled with amusement. "You were so pissed about that. It was just a picture of a bird."
"A rare, elegant duck that had never been seen on Hawk Island, and I got a photo of it."
"It still ran in the paper. It just wasn't as important as the embezzlement."
"I suppose not, but it was still a great shot. It took me hours to get it. Melanie got so bored with me that day. She wanted to know when I'd gone from photographing cool stuff to dumb birds. But I have to give Melanie credit. She didn't leave; she stuck it out. She spent the afternoon writing in her diary while I was wading in and out of the pools by the grove." I shook my head. "She was a good friend."
"She thought you were a brilliant photographer. I can't believe you don't take pictures anymore. What's your passion now?"
"I don't have one. Not everyone has a passion. Some people just work and socialize, watch TV and stay alive."
"Is that what you do?"
"My life is too boring to talk about, Drake. Although now I miss some of that boredom." I took a breath. "So, this book you're writing on Melanie—what if you can't come up with an ending? Will you still write it?"