Beaming at me, Cars seemed in her element. She didn’t get to be herself all that often. Most days she went to school and changed if she could. The students didn’t take her appearance well, but I made sure they shut the fuck up.
The driver nodded and went to his car, leaving us. I carried Cars’s big-ass suitcase. “Planning on moving in with me, beauty?”
When she presented as femme, I always switched my pet names. She appreciated them so much. For many gender-fluid or non-binary folk, the intention mattered. The little gender-affirming things you did made them feel safe. I always wanted Cars to feel safe with me.
“I wish, I really wish.”
I stopped, halting us. “You can as soon as you’re out of high school.” She turned to me, her eyes wetting with worry.
“You mean that?”
“I’d do anything for you, Cars. Living with you would be the best possible outcome.” She started to cry as I said the words. “You’re my best friend, I’d do anything for you.”
And I meant it.
When we landed in Brookewood, my body had the weirdest feeling. Once I turned my phone off airplane mode, it blew up with notifications. Texts upon texts showed up and they were all from Andy.
Where are you?
Madden, your stuff is here but you’re not.
Please text me back, I’m worried.
I called your mom and dad, they haven’t heard from you either.
Madden! If you’re okay and fucking with me I’m going to skin you alive.
Before I could text her back, my phone went off, ringing louder somehow. “Andy, don’t be mad.”
“You can’t just fucking disappear on me, Toland Reaver. I’m supposed to be taking care of you.”
I scoffed, unable to help myself. “You haven’t been around for three weeks, Andy, don’t act like you are super worried about my well-being.”
Cars tapped my shoulder, her eyes showing her worry about Andy’s reaction. But I wasn’t telling Andy. I’d show up with Cars and that was that.
“Don’t act petulant, I’ve been working.”
“Yeah...” I trailed off, my sarcasm apparent. “Working is why.”
Cars eyed me, then raised a perfectly manicured brow. Her makeup looked great and I needed to tell her when I got off the phone. I rolled my eyes at her, letting her know it was nothing.
But it wasn’t.
I couldn’t stop thinking about that dude in the bar going down on me as Andy watched. Because before that moment, I felt like he would’ve had to suck for hours to get me off.
“I’ll see you when I get home, Andy. I’m busy.”
“Madden,” she said, not using my full name any longer. Instead of giving her the pleasure of hearing my apology or guilt because I knew she truly cared, I hung up.
I grabbed Cars’s bags and we went to the Benz—Royce, my accompanied driver and pseudo-dad nodded as he took her bags from me. “Home?”
“Home,” I confirmed. As soon as we were in the back, Cars smacked my arm.
“You didn’t tell her I was coming?”
“Don’t be mad. I didn’t want to give her a reason to say no. I’m eighteen. If it’s such a concern, I’ll literally buy my own place.”
She shook her head, disappointment in her rigid features. I took her in again, more this time. She had dramatic eyeshadow, her winged eyeliner near flawless. The way she cut the crease of her eyes made me envious. It made her gossamer eyes nearly glow. When I put on makeup, it was messy eyeshadow or eyeliner. When Cars did it, she looked like a freaking model.
“Your makeup is hot,” I commented, knowing compliments weren’t something she was used to. She blushed and smiled, her face lighting up. She smacked me again and I mock gasped.
“You’re trying to avoid conflict by kissing my ass,” she complained.
“Nah, you look hot, Cars. But if you want me to kiss your ass...” I teased, and she narrowed her eyes.
“Fuck off, Mads.”
I smirked as Royce drove away. This—Carson here with me—was what I needed.
Chapter Seven
A Grave Mistake – Ice Nine Kills
Madden
When I unlocked Andy’s condo, I opened the door to the angriest little demon. She stood in the shortest shorts known to man and a crop top. Her feet tapped like an impatient mother. I laughed without being able to hold it back. She looked adorable, trying to hold a stern expression.
I held Cars’s hand. She squeezed, her nerves apparent. When I turned to look at her, Andy finally spoke. “And who is she?”
Carson’s eyes widened, much like when we were in school and she first started being fluid. She seemed scared and I hated that look on her face. “My best friend, Carson,” I answered, not looking away from her. Her shoulders loosened when she realized I’d never let anyone hurt her. Never again.
Turning back to Andy I saw the fire in her eyes. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it was jealousy. She continued her little angry tapping while I escorted Carson inside.
“Carson, this is Andy. Andy, this is Carson.”
Andy softened a little, but not much. “I didn’t realize we’d be having visitors.”
“That’s why I was gone. Flew to Kempville to pick her up.”
Andy’s eyes widened, her lips parting just the littlest bit. “You flew all the way to Kempville for a girl?”
“She’s not just any girl,” I clarified, feeling defensive. “She’s my best friend.”
“You said that,” she grumbled. Sidestepping me, she eyed Carson. “I used to be his best friend.” She reached out to her, her face a cocktail of emotions. “Nice to meet you, Carson.” Before Andy could go into the fifty-questions era of this meet, I touched her shoulder.
“Carson means the world to me,” I explained, watching Andy’s face fall. “She’s been the best part of my life for the past year and a half.”
“But that guy—” Andy started, and I chuckled, realizing she was thinking Carson was my person. She is. Just not in that way.
“Carson isn’t my partner,” I clarified. “She’s literally my best friend, and if I have to reiterate that tidbit again, I’ll stab myself to put us all out of misery.”
Andy nodded silently, her face going through all the shades of jealousy and discomfort. I shouldn’t have bombarded her, let alone put Cars in this situation. Uneasiness settled in me. If my two most important people didn’t love each other, it would destroy me.
“Hi,” Carson finally said, her voice light and airy. “I’m not one for explaining myself, especially to new-to-me people, but I’m Carson—or Cars as Mads calls me—I’m gender-fluid.”
Andy’s eyes widen and then narrow and widen again. I watched and waited, making sure she didn’t say any shit comments. Andy was the most supportive human I knew besides Carson, but some people didn’t surround themselves with the queer community and it showed with their offhand comments. “I don’t usually label myself, but me being here for the weekend, I don’t want to appear different and have you stumbling.”
“I’m so glad to meet you, Cars. Do you have any preferred pronouns?”