“I can’t say definitively no. It will all depend on what we do from this point over the next several weeks.”
“Several weeks? Are you sure?” I ask.
“Eli, this could end my dance career if it doesn’t heal right.” Now I understand. I can feel the weight of what is going on inside of her and what she must have known from the minute she collapsed. “What is my treatment plan?”
“I can’t say with certainty. You’ll need to follow up with your primary physician, and I’m sure they will get you with a specialist and a physical therapist when the time comes. From my experience with these injuries and where this fits in comparison, I’d say you’re looking at weeks, if not months, off the dance floor. If you need surgery, it could be longer than that. I’m sorry. I know that’s not what you want to hear.”
Dylan’s hands cover her face as she can no longer hold her tears in. I can hear her soft sobs, quiet as they are. Each one cuts my heart again and again. “Thank you, Dr. Forbes. When can I take my wife home?”
“I would like to get her fitted for an immobilizer and crutches to make life easier for her. I will also get her some medication for the pain. She should remain as restful as she can until she can be reevaluated in the next day or two. Do you need a note for work?”
I can’t help but chuckle a little. “I’m her boss, so that won’t be necessary.”
The doctor smiles back before clearing his throat. “Dylan, we will give you another dose of the medication we started you on when you got here to get you home more comfortably. I will have one of the nurses get you fitted with the other things I was talking about and remove your IV. Do you have any more questions?”
Dylan looks up at the doctor with tears quietly streaming down her face and shakes her head. He pats her hand gently before he leaves the room and us behind the closed door. I kneel down in front of her and tilt her chin back up to look into my eyes.
“Are you listening to me, Viper?” I see her eyes go in and out of focus for a minute before she looks in and through me. “You will get through this. We will get through this. You’re alive. You’re whole, even though you don’t think so right now, you’re whole. This isn’t game over. I won’t let it, so neither will you. Do you hear me?”
Dylan leans her body forward and wraps her arms around my neck. I can feel the fear radiate off her like rays from the sun. I just made a promise I fucking hope I can keep.
Dylan
The medication is helping for the most part, but the only time I’m not fully in pain is when I’m asleep. I wish I could sleep the next however many weeks and not know the possibilities or non-possibilities of how this is going to turn out. Eli is right. I have to think positive, but I also know that the reality might be I won’t dance on my own again like I had been or hoped to be.
Eli wants to lay me in our bed, but I want to be near where he is. I feel like I am lying on a cloud of marshmallows as I fall asleep. I think I even have a trippy dream to that effect. As the medication begins to wear off and I become more aware of the pain and my surroundings, I can hear Eli on the phone. For a minute I can’t tell who he’s talking to, then I realize it’s Anna.
He’s making all kinds of changes to his schedule. He’s moving meetings to virtual, postponing a couple of day trips, and a longer trip to California to see Colton and Rylee. That was supposed to be part business and pleasure for us. Now it’s on indefinite hold and I hate it. He can sense me stirring because within just a few words, he’s right behind me stroking the hair away from my face. Even though he’s talking about work, his soft voice is its own pain killer.
“Okay, Anna. Thank you for all you’re doing. Route everything you can’t send in email to me twice daily. If you can’t get the board to go virtual, I will have someone stay here with her and I will come in for that only. Make sure I have Skye first thing so we can get Dylan’s projects covered for at least a week, then we will modify when we know where things stand. Yes, I will tell her. I’ll talk to you in the morning. Good night.”
“I’m sorry.”
I don’t know why I feel the need to say it, but I do.
“Stop. Shhh. Life happens. You did so much when the roles were reversed. This seems so small. I’m going to take care of you. How do you feel right now? How is your pain?”
“I feel like I need my special soup. You know the one. I feel just nauseous and achy.”
“It’s no wonder. You’re full of drugs and not much else. You didn’t get your protein energy drink after either. I’m sure your electrolytes are off. I’ll get you some water to sip on so I can get your comfort food going. I’ll even join you if you’d like.”
“You didn’t eat?”
“No, Viper. My only focus has been you.”
“Don’t let my brick wall become yours.”
“This isn’t a brick wall,” he tells me. “It’s something that could have happened at any time. I wish it wouldn’t have, but here we are.” I feel a shiver through my body. I pull my sleeves down over my hands and cross my arms over my chest. I can feel a subtle vibration beneath my skin bubbling to the surface. “Are you cold?”
“I am. I don’t know why.”
Eli disappears into our bedroom for a minute and returns with the extra comforter that lies on the end of our bed. Sometimes it becomes a bed for us on the floor and other times, a layer over us when getting under the covers takes too long.
“Here, baby, let me know if this is too heavy for you.”
I let the down blanket me like a small child trying to wear the clothes of an adult. The fabric coats me and gives my trembling body a calming weight that I’ve so desperately needed. My eyelids close while I hear Eli behind me in the kitchen. After a few minutes and the buzz of a microwave, the smell of chicken noodle soup and warm bread start to linger in the air.
The scent comes closer until I can feel the steam rising behind me. Eli quietly strokes my forehead. “Are you able to sit up?”
“If you help me. It smells really good.”
“I’m glad you’re saying that.”
His arms slide beneath my body and shift my weight back. The downward pressure on my knee however sends a shock wave through my body I wasn’t prepared for. It felt like I was injuring it all over again. I muffle my yelp into Eli’s arm, but my fingers tell him a completely different story.
The pads of my fingers press so deep into his skin I hope I don’t bruise him. He rests next to me, hip to hip, and holds me against his body. My whimpers turn to sobs again. I can feel the pain all the way down into my calf with all the tears, my head aches in a way it’s only done a couple of times before in my life.
Eli whispers, “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. Please don’t cry.”
“It’s going to be like this… for a while.”
“I know it is. I’ll be here to help you.” He settles my back into the corner of the couch and nests me in with pillows and the comforter. While sitting on the corner of our coffee table, he begins to feed me slowly and with such love. I know that he loves me. I think I knew right away. This type of care isn’t something I’ve had to get from him. I’ve been the one.