“Well, you don’t need to be. I’m a big girl who’s gotten pretty good at surviving on her own.” I slide off the couch and let myself out on to Eli’s balcony. The walls and the truth are a little too close in there.
I find myself shivering and too proud to go inside. Curled up on the bench, taking in any bit of night air I can, I pull the end of the jersey down and around my legs. If I know my brother, he will end up joining me in three, two, one.
Like clockwork, the patio door opens as he walks through it. He has a blanket in his hands. Eli circles around behind me, laying the blanket over my shoulders before he crouches at my side.
“Look, Kiddo, I know things are super tough right now. I need you to know you’re not alone. I’m here. Dylan’s here. Even Mom and Dad are here. We may not have all the answers, but we’re here to support you and listen. I’m here to support you and listen. It doesn’t need to be right now, or even tomorrow.
“I get being all messed up inside when you feel like a part of you is missing. Who was the one always by my side doing everything she could to make sure I was functioning? I seem to remember a tiny blonde girl whose personality was bigger than could fit in three people.”
“She’s still here. Sort of.”
“I’m not a fan of sort of. Tell me something, anything about what’s going on. Wes is ‘I’m fine; I’ve got it,’ all the time. I expect it. I don’t expect it from you.”
The feeling of the boiling pot is no longer able to be contained. For the first time, I’m not sad and crying. I’m angry. I don’t think I’ve ever been this angry. “I’m done. I’m just done, Eli.”
“Wait. What does that mean?” He sits down on the floor at my feet.
“All I’ve asked for throughout all this is for one thing. I want to meet Hannah. That should be simple, right? It’s a meeting. Wes sets meetings in his fucking sleep. I think he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I’m not cake, Eli.”
“Whoa. Slow down. Slow down. You think he wants to be with you and her?”
“Why wouldn’t he? I mean, why else would he keep us apart when he knows how important it is to me? Is she a bitch? That can’t be. I can’t see him being with someone like that. But, Eli, she’s given him the ultimate. What do I have that would even come close?”
“You, Kiddo.” He says it without thinking or even skipping a beat. “He has you. I wish I could answer your questions about her. Maybe it’s part of your answer that I can’t. I’ve never met her either. That should make you feel better.”
“Well, it doesn’t. That should be more of a red flag for you and a bigger indication that I’m right. You’d kill him if he cheated on me.”
“Hayley, if I knew that was happening, that would be a deal breaker and I would never speak to him again. Instantaneous, done.”
“He knows that. He lies for a living.”
“Hayley…”
“You’ve said that before and so has he. Why would this be any different?”
“You’re spinning yourself into knots. I can see it happening. Why don’t you text him so you can video chat? I’m sure seeing his face would do you some good.”
I feel like Eli is taking his side while taking mine. I don’t have the energy to argue anymore. “Okay.” It’s easier to do what he asks. I plug in the code on my phone, and it opens to the last screen I was in. Instagram.
The app refreshes to the newest posts. What I see sends an ache through my body and my heart. The post is from one of Wes’s clients. It’s Wes, a couple of women, his client, and his boss. They are all dressed up in suits and party dresses, at a bar filled with lights and drinks in their hands. His smile tells me he doesn’t have a care in the world, least of all about me.
“I think he’s a little busy right now.” After handing Eli my phone, I pull the blanket tighter. “I want to disconnect for a while. Please? Just take my phone. I’ll be in later.”
Elijah doesn’t say a word. He powers my phone dark and slides it in his pocket. I feel a gentle kiss on my head before he walks away. Once I hear the balcony door latch, the tears come in tidal waves. I can feel my body shiver and shake. This isn’t the type of cold a blanket can fix.
An hour later, Eli comes out to get me. Again, he doesn’t say a word. When he brings me inside, the couch has been made over from Dylan’s daybed to a fluffy white cloud where I’ll sleep tonight. He pulls back the down comforter and nods for me to climb in.
I keep my other blanket tightly wrapped around me and lay my head on the pillow. Eli layers me with another blanket and then in a surprise move, he sits in the chair next to my feet. He won’t leave until he knows I’m asleep.
Lying on the couch this way reminds me of the last time I did. I was wrapped in Wes’s arms. We woke to a kiss. Tomorrow morning, if I sleep that long, will be much different than that.
Chapter 10
Elijah
I moved from the chair, where I’d fallen asleep, to the bed at about three in the morning. Hayley did sleep. I wouldn’t say it was restful from the whimpers I heard every once in a while. Dylan had a few herself. At least with her, I could assume it was physical pain.
I heard the front door close about seven in the morning. I got up to see what it was. Hayley had left. She did leave a note behind. She thanked us for letting her stay and was sorry she melted down. She said she felt better this morning and would see me at the office on Monday.
With a sigh as heavy as my heart, I sit on the couch next to all the blankets Hayley folded and left on the cushion. “Did she leave?”
My wife’s sweet groggy voice rings in my ears from our bedroom doorway. “I’m sorry I woke you. Yeah. She left. Her note says she’s fine. I feel this need to do something, Dylan. Our house of cards is falling, Viper.”
Dylan hobbles her way over to me slowly and slides her way into my lap. Her arms drape around my neck as she nuzzles against me. “I hope it’s not as bad as you think. I don’t know. Maybe talk to Wes when he gets home? PS…I’m okay by the way.”
I push my chin forward to take a little nibble of her skin. “The little cries in your sleep tell a different story. I’m not going to lie, Dylan; your pain hurts me.”
“I don’t want it to. I know telling you to stop won’t work so instead, I will tell you I love you. You’ve seen some of my worst moments and you didn’t freak out or pull away from me. What you did, making me stand, well hobble, and sit on my own has only made me stronger.”
“You should be thanking David. That first night after the emergency room, I texted him in the middle of the night. I was at a loss, and he gave me guidance on being a dancer’s husband.”
I can see my beautiful wife nearly melt into my hands. “That was the best thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“Better than I love you? Shit. Good to know.”
Dylan takes her own nibble out of my neck, which only makes me grip her closer to me. “I’m going to figure this out for myself, Eli. I’d love your help, but my way back has to come from within me.” Dylan curls her head under my chin and starts to play with the nonexistent lint on my shirt. “I want to come up with a plan for long term, not just right now. I know rehab will be a huge part of it, but it also makes me think long term. I know that makes zero sense.”