Amy nodded. ‘Get on the phone then.’
‘I’m going to text. After you’ve gone, like I said.’
‘I’ll just clear breakfast.’ Amy seemed reluctant to leave.
‘No need. I’ll do it. Now please go before I lose my nerve.’
‘If you’re sure …’
‘Absolutely. But thank you so much for keeping me from overreacting. I might overreact again later, but just for now, thank you!’
They hugged and then Amy left and Helena went to find her phone.
She sent a text, grateful that because of Amy wanting to meet James she had his mobile number in her phone.
I’ve seen Jago’s details on Facebook. Can we meet up soon?
After she’d sent the text she worried that James would think she was trying to pick him up the moment Jago’s back was turned but she realised this was paranoia. But she felt paranoid. It was like a waking dream – she didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t.
As she cleared the breakfast in Jago’s patchwork kitchen she had to stop herself crying. She had to stop assuming that she was destined to pack up her things, including two looms, and leave. Where would she go? She personally could go to her mother, but her looms? Where would there be space for them?
Luckily for her sanity, James got back to her soon. This would be better face-to-face. Could I come to yours at lunchtime?
Sure, she texted back. I’ll make you a sandwich.
Then she wished she hadn’t said that. Jago was the sandwich expert, not her. Making one would just make her think about him. But then she realised that he had been the default setting for her brain for some time, and even thinking that she had been cheated on in the most complicated way didn’t stop her loving him. Her heart would have to catch up with her head and it might take a while.
Helena was waiting at the door for James when he arrived.
‘Hi, Helena,’ he said as he got out of the car. He kissed her cheek. ‘Did you really make a sandwich?’
‘Yes, but of course it won’t be as good as Jago’s.’ Then she found herself near tears again and wished she hadn’t mentioned him. Although considering the reason she and James were meeting it wouldn’t be possible not to.
Soon they were sitting at the table in the kitchen.
‘So,’ said James, ‘how did you find out about Jago?’
‘We – me and Amy – were looking at Facebook. At you, actually, and his picture came up.’
‘But there are no pictures of Jago on Facebook, not on my page, anyway.’ He seemed so certain about this Helena was very glad she’d anticipated the problem.
She opened Amy’s laptop and found the picture. James stared at it. ‘OK, I remember the photo being taken but where is Jago?’
‘There,’ said Helena, pointing.
James frowned. ‘I know it’s him but how the hell do you know?’
‘I have a gift – a curse a lot of the time – which means I can recognise people in a way other people can’t. It’s weird; I can’t explain it.’
‘But he’s wearing skiing gear! He’s not even looking at the camera.’
‘Are you saying it’s not him?’
James’s indignation subsided. ‘No. It’s him. But how anyone could recognise him …’
‘Well, I have. And he’s tagged with a completely different name. Maybe you could explain that?’
James chewed his sandwich with agonizing slowness.
‘It’s not my story to tell.’
‘But I can’t live with all this stuff I’ve read about him on the internet and not find out more.’
‘He should tell you about it, not me.’
‘Of course he should!’ Amy had gone on about this long enough for Helena to be convinced. ‘But I don’t know where he is. I can’t get in touch with him!’ She took a breath. ‘Do you know where he is?’
James nodded. ‘I do. And I’ll tell you.’
Chapter Twenty-nine
Helena and James were looking at Maps to find out exactly where the address Jago had given James actually was.
‘The trouble is,’ said James, ‘postcodes in these remote areas are enormous so they don’t help much.’
‘I don’t know the Wye Valley at all,’ said Helena.
‘It’s very beautiful, I know that.’
‘But if he didn’t do anything wrong – I’m assuming he didn’t do anything wrong—?’ Helena broke off, hoping James didn’t feel trapped into saying what she wanted to hear.
‘Look, I’ve said, it’s not my tale to tell. I’m the only person he’s stayed friends with from those days. We knew each other at school. Let’s just say I’m not surprised he wanted to cut himself off from everyone else.’
‘And you didn’t want to cut yourself off from him?’
‘Nope. He’s a good guy.’
A modicum of relief relaxed Helena’s shoulders a little. ‘Well, that’s something, at least.’
‘He’d probably kill me if he knew I’d said that,’ said James, frowning as he studied Maps on Amy’s computer.
‘Why? Why would he mind you saying he was a good guy?’
‘Because he doesn’t feel like a good guy.’ James took his fingers off the keys. ‘Helena? I need a proper map. Satnav and all that are OK as far as they go, but they don’t give you a chance to plan or see where you’re headed.’
‘My mother would have one.’
‘Could you borrow it?’
‘I’m sure I can.’
‘Would she ask why you wanted it? Where you’re going?’
Helena nodded. ‘I hadn’t planned to tell her until it was all over. She’s a bit of a worrier. But I will have to tell her if I need a mapbook.’
‘You might be away for a few days, too.’
‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ said Helena. ‘But I suppose that’s true.’
‘If you started really early tomorrow morning, didn’t get lost and you and Jago had your conversation really quickly, you could get back in a day, but honestly? I think you guys need time to talk this through properly.’
Helena nodded. ‘I’ll have to tell Mum, then.’ She looked at James. ‘Do you know why he rushed off so suddenly? Was it his past coming back to haunt him, as they say?’
‘I really can’t say. I promised I wouldn’t.’
Helena sighed. ‘OK. I’ll see if my mother is around.’
Helena called her mother and discovered she was out but able to answer her mobile.
‘Darling!’ said Gilly, sounding happy. ‘Why don’t I come and see you? I’d love to see where you and Jago live!’
‘Oh, Mum, I need to borrow something. And tell you something. When will you be home?’ Helena wanted to cry all over again and hoped she’d get through the process of putting her mother in the picture without actually sobbing.
‘Oh. OK. Well, I’ll be back in an hour. Everything all right?’
‘Not really, but I’ll explain when I see you. Now I must call Amy; she left her laptop here this morning and she’ll probably need it.’