I groan. This girl. Does she even know what she’s doing to me?
Me: I want to take care of you soon, baby.
Poppy: I’ll hold you to it.
Me: Have a good rest of your night.
Poppy: You too. Sweet dreams.
My dreams have been a lot sweeter since you’ve been in my life. I obviously don’t type those words. I’ve got a lot riding on the line and sweet Poppy is a risk I shouldn’t take, but one I can’t walk away from, nonetheless.
TWENTY-FOUR
Poppy
It was hard to pin down a time to meet with Declan on our own. It’s been another week since I climbed out of his window and we speak every day, but meeting up has been a challenge. That’s why I’m skipping class now, which is not something I ever do, but it is the only break Declan has today and we need to talk because time is of the essence. I pace my small dorm room back and forth. I know for a fact Bonnie is always out this time of day because she isn’t the type to skip a class. My palms are clammy and my heartbeat is erratic but this has to be done. The knock comes and my heart skips a beat. He’s here. You can do this.
I consider myself a strong person. I stand up for what I believe in, but this is a whole lot of meddling on my part on a completely different level.
“Hi,” I breathe out.
“Hi,” Declan says. He’s wearing a hoodie with the hood up on his head, a pair of jeans, and a black backpack slung over one shoulder. Does he always have to look so damn good?
He removes his hood and takes me in his arms. We kiss and sparks fill my belly as the chemistry between us ignites warm and buzzing inside me. Don’t get carried away…there’s a reason for this visit.
I pull back and brace my hands on his shoulders.
“What did you need to talk about?” Declan asks and his brows dip together.
“Maybe you should take a seat.” I tilt my chin toward the chair by my desk.
“Is this about your brother?” he asks.
“No.” I shake my head. “It’s not.”
“You’re kind of freaking me out,” he says. I do have this nervous energy about me.
“Sorry. I just I need you take a seat,” I say and rub my hands up and down his arms.
He hesitantly sits back in the chair.
“I really care about you.” I start, because I’ve had a week of sleepless nights rehearsing.
“Are you dumping me?” he asks, looking offended.
“No,” I emphasize. “It’s not that. Please let me just get this out.”
“Okay.” He rubs his hands down his thighs. I keep my gaze trained on his strong thighs and begin to speak.
“I really like you and I want what’s best for you. I need you to promise me that you will hear me out completely and not lose your cool because if you let me finish, you’ll see this is a good thing.” My voice shakes and I’m so scared that he will walk out of here and not turn back.
“This doesn’t sound very good,” he says, licking his lips.
“It is good, I just need you to trust me,” I repeat.
“You’ve been asking me to trust you since we met. You clearly have my trust, Poppy. Now spill it. What’s going on?” he asks.
“Exactly, Declan, you’ve trusted me with your deepest secrets and I have this need inside me to help, to want to fix things.”
“What did you do?” he asks. His tone is accusing and maybe bordering on anger? He rises from the chair.
“I spoke to Holland about your brother, and before you freak out, remember that she is going to be a doctor. She won’t break our trust and you love Holland and CC. I could see your connection to them the night you invited me over to their house.”
“You had no right,” he spits. “No right. I shouldn’t have trusted you.”
“Now wait a minute.” My voice rises because his statement angers me.
“Cole’s dad is dating a woman that is a breathing doctor. His father owns a drug company that makes inhalers for people with asthma. I asked Holland if they would be willing to help your brother for free,” I explain.
“Dammit, Poppy, I don’t need handouts,” he says and he grips the edges of his hair in his fists.
“Declan, Veronica is a doctor. If we can get Logan here, she can test all his pulmonary functions and get him on the right medications. He can live a normal life and play hockey. He’ll have a chance at a Division 1 team and no one needs to know about the asthma. I know you may hate me after this, but Holland won’t tell a soul. Cole doesn’t even know. Mr. Davis is keeping this whole situation confidential. Their company does a lot of things to help underprivileged youth in memory of Cole’s mother,” I continue to explain.
Declan falls back in the chair and his head falls between his shoulders. He’s quiet. Too quiet, and I don’t know what to do, so I talk some more.
“They want to help Logan. We just need to get him to Westfall for a day. Mr. Davis will give him a supply of meds. Veronica will write the prescriptions. Your brother doesn’t need to suffer any more,” I say, but Declan is still quiet and so I kneel down in front of him and place my hands on his knees. “Please say something.”
When he lifts his head, his eyes are rimmed red. “When I was ten years old, I met a guy named Sal. He introduced me to hockey. Told me it was my way out of the bad neighborhood we lived in. He coached peewee hockey and I learned a lot from him. I could never sign up for programs though because we didn’t have the money,” he says, and I stay quiet and just listen.
“Years went by and Sal was somehow always around. He got fired from his job. Turned out he was an alcoholic. I’m pretty sure he did some illegal gambling too. One day when I was about sixteen, Sal came to me and said that if I was going to make it to a Division 1 team I needed to try out for the city’s Tier 1 hockey league. I didn’t have the money for that either, but Sal placed a wad of cash in my hand and it covered all my expenses for two years. I didn’t want to take the money but he insisted and he was right. That’s how I made it on the Westfall Dragons. Two weeks after he gave me that money, his body was found,” Declan shares.
I gasp. “I’m so sorry.” I wrap my arms around his waist. I’m still kneeling and my head rests against his stomach.
“Until Sal, I thought everyone was selfish. Sal said he wasn’t a good man but he got me out of that life,” Declan says.
“He was like your guardian angel,” I say and tears prick my eyes as I think of a young Declan having to fend for himself and his little brother.
“I think you’re the angel here, Poppy,” he says.
I lift up my head and gaze into his storming eyes that are filled with so much emotion and grief. “I’m not an angel. I just wanted to help and I know I broke your trust, but it was for a good reason. We can help Logan.”
Declan’s finger comes up and traces my lips as he just watches me. “I feel like an awful brother. Sure, I taught Logan everything he knows but I could have helped him more and I let my shame get in the way.”
“It’s hard to reach out and ask for help. It’s hard to be vulnerable,” I say.
“I spent a lot of years feeling vulnerable, Poppy. Growing up with no parents around makes you see life differently. There’s no one to stop you from making mistakes. You’ve got to make the mistakes and learn from them,” he explains.