“Well, I’m not going to turn it down.” He winked at me as the cocktails arrived, waiting until the server departed to continue. “I’ll be honest. Sex for me doesn’t usually feel like it did with you. I want to explore more, see if I can figure out why.”
Smile dipping, he darted his gaze around the room before taking a long sip of his soju and tonic, which was garnished with thin strips of celery.
“So, you want to sleep with me as research?” I used a stern tone even as my ego thrilled.
“That and it would be fun.” He shrugged, tone carefully casual. The little bit of hesitance there in his eyes made my resolve soften. “Maybe I can’t ever duplicate it, but I can enjoy a second helping or two.”
“My inner science geek is rather impressed at the chance to help you test a variety of findings.” Yup. We were totally kissing again later. And maybe more. But I didn’t need him thinking he needed to trade me for the experience. Fiddling with my garnish, I dropped the flirty tone. “But I could still kiss you again sometime and hire a handy person to do the repairs.”
“Your asshole ex already took enough of your cash. And where’s the fun in hiring it out?”
“Indeed.” It all came down to fun for Calder, and I needed to remember that. No matter how good he was at comfort, he wasn’t the kind of guy to stick around for life’s unfun parts.
The appetizer arrived right then—an assortment of meaty skewers and little bites like crispy mushrooms, and we each grabbed a skewer.
“I’ve got leave next weekend,” Calder said between bites, more of that take-charge nature of his. Of course he’d want a firm plan. “Couple of days off as long as I’m back by Sunday evening. What do you say?”
“My stepmom is heading to Aspen. I’d have to bring the girls.” As always, I couldn’t seem to find my way to a firm no with him.
“I figured they’d come. You can probably use their help on easier cleaning tasks. And as for the other, if you visit me after lights out, I’ll never tell.” He grinned slyly.
“The work does need to get done.” I was waffling my way toward yes.
And Calder knew it, grinning wide and raising his glass. “Excellent. It’s a—”
“We’re not dating.” I held up a hand, but he simply kept right on smiling.
“Of course not. We talked about that—neither of us dates. But there’s a wide territory between no relationships ever and long-term commitment. Like friendship. You need a friend.” His tone was perfectly reasonable, yet it also made my stomach do this weird clench.
“A friend who kisses me silly?” I went for the joke because no way was I letting myself get disappointed at the reminder that Calder didn’t do relationships.
“Yup. Definitely that. I’m planning on it.” His twinkling eyes made all sorts of promises for after we ate, and made my insides glow. He was right. I did need this, even if I didn’t want to.
“I’ll pack extra pancake mix.” I sighed dramatically like giving in was such a hardship. “And you’ll get your weekend with your friends on your next weekend off after that as a thank-you for the help.”
“It’s a deal.” He popped one of the beef appetizer bites in his mouth. “This is good. I like all the choices here. What do you say we order a few more small plates instead of entrées? That way we can share and try more things.”
“Are you sure this isn’t a date?” I teased as I reached for the appetizer menu.
“Call it what you want, Doc. As long as I get a kiss at the pier.”
“That easy?” I shook my head.
“Yup, I try. Now, let’s see what food sounds fun...” He leaned across the small table to point to a selection on the menu, and I nearly kissed him right then.
Oh, he was trouble all right. The fun kind, for sure, but also the kind that could leave a mark if I wasn’t careful.
Something about him, though, made me reckless. I let him talk me into trying new things to eat as easily as he’d convinced me to do the cabin repair weekend. Work. We were going to work, not play. But it was easy to forget that as we ate our way through an impressive selection of small plates while sharing stories of other food we liked.
“If you like spicy, there’s this place near base in Hawaii that does these ginger chili wings. Man, I love visiting that base.” Calder’s tone was decidedly wistful.
“They sound good. Is it hard not being out on a sub right now?”
He made a pinched face. “You asking as a shrink?”
“No, as a friend.” Maybe I wasn’t the only one who could use someone.
He took a few bites of food before finally sighing. “Yeah, it’s hard. Sucks because I am damn good at what I do on the sub and I’ve been at it over a decade now.” His ever-present smile was gone, and his eyes were tight. “I love the pace of the sub, the focus it requires. Everything feels important.”
“You’d be a good surgeon.” Trying to lower the tension, I smiled at him. “Adrenaline junkie, life-or-death decisions, long hours. You’d be perfect.”
“Thought you weren’t going to analyze me?” he teased, stealing another shrimp dumpling. “But you’re not wrong. I don’t like being bored, and I like responsibility while still being part of a team.”
“And you don’t have that now with what you are doing on base?”
He groaned even before I finished the question. “This assignment isn’t terrible. This week I got to work out an urgent supply situation. That was good. But there’s talk about extending my time on shore, and I’d rather be where I can be most useful and that’s on a sub.”
“I get that.” I used a soothing tone, regretting bringing up an uncomfortable subject for him. But curiosity got the better of me. “Are they worried about your health on the sub?”
“Probably.” He stabbed some seaweed salad with his fork. “A repeat concussion would suck, and falling is always a risk on the sub.”
“But one you’re willing to take?” I wasn’t a neurologist, but I knew plenty about the aftereffects of a head injury. They weren’t anything to mess around with.
However, Calder simply made a dismissive gesture. “Life is a risk. Bottom line, I can do more good deployed and be less bored, so win.”
“Winning is good.” I was more of the opinion that life was a series of compromises that kept us safe and relatively healthy, but I wasn’t going to argue with his life philosophy. And I admired his work ethic and commitment to his job. “I see with my patients how important it is to be able to keep doing what you love, so I understand you wanting to be back out there.”