“But it is.” Felix groaned and flopped back down next to me.
“You’re overthinking it.” I stroked a hand down his torso, trying to smooth away his growing tension. “You’ll need to give me the keys for the weekend I’m borrowing the place, right? So we meet up, maybe for ramen this time, exchange keys, make out in your car a little. Easy.”
“You’re all-in on the friends-who-kiss plan, aren’t you?” His eyes narrowed, but his tone said he was at least a little impressed.
“It’s a good plan.” I kept my voice even and casual, not wanting to let on how desperate I was to see him again, and we hadn’t even parted yet. “I like you. I like hanging out together. I don’t see a reason to stop.”
“I can’t start dating. It’s not fair—”
“I’m not asking you to date.” Actually, Felix was rapidly making me rethink my own stance on dating. If it got me more late-night conversations and leisurely make-out sessions, I’d be game to try. However, he’d been so adamant on this point that I was pursuing the friends-with-benefits angle harder. “We’re friends, remember? And we kiss as long as kissing seems fun, and if you meet someone you do want to do the serious relationship thing with, we dial back the kissing.”
I’d probably hate that person even more than I hated his ex, but I also was a realist. I wasn’t the best relationship bet, even if I was willing. I’d take what I could as long as it made him happy, and step back when it didn’t.
“I don’t want either of us to get hurt.” His tone was all adult and reasonable, and irritated me to the point that my fists clenched.
My voice shifted from light to pointed, honesty seeping past my frustration. “I don’t want anyone hurt either, but I’m gonna be hurt if you don’t want to be friends at all. And I think you’re going to be hurt if you continue to tell yourself you don’t have room for adult fun or friendship in your life.”
“You’re not wrong.” Rather than getting angry, Felix deflated and so did I. Not wanting to fight more, I kissed his temple.
“I’m smarter than I look.”
“You are.” Turning his head so we could kiss for real, Felix sighed against my mouth. “I guess if I have to get you the keys anyway...”
“Exactly.” I sure as hell wasn’t going to point out that Felix could simply give me back Tim’s set of keys, which I’d returned to him at the lawyer’s office. He could send me home with those, but then I wouldn’t get my date. “I’ll start researching places to eat.”
“When do you want the cabin? In two weeks?”
“Yeah, that sounds about right.” I stretched, way happier to talk practical details than trying to convince him that we made excellent friends with benefits. “Max will need to get leave. They work the cranes lots of weird shifts. We’ll probably get another buddy or two to join us.”
“I hope you have fun.” Felix’s smile was fond and something about it made a bright new idea march through my brain.
“Hey.” I rolled onto my elbow, looming over him. “You could come.”
“I could what?” He blinked up at me.
“Come hang out and play cards and ski with us and give me a reason to be the one who claims the bedroom.” Oh, I loved this idea. Loved it. I beamed at him, but he continued to stare at me like I’d sprouted horns.
“You don’t seriously want me along.”
“I think we just established that I do.” I kept my voice even, but I was rapidly losing patience for needing to prove to him that I really wanted him in my life.
“Thanks.” His voice softened right along with his eyes as he touched my shoulder. “I can’t leave the girls, and you need an adults-only weekend, not more family fun.”
“Debatable.” I did want the weekend I’d promised my friends, but I’d had a ton of fun that day with Felix and the girls. I wouldn’t be opposed to more days like this at all. However, I was also firmly Team Felix Needs a Break as well. “If you did get a sitter or arrange a sleepover for them, you could come alone, grab some kid-free time with us. Even short notice. It would be more fun with you along.”
Felix studied me intently for a long moment. “You really mean that, don’t you?”
“I like you,” I said softly, grabbing his hand.
“I like you too.” He squeezed my hand before groaning dramatically. “We are so screwed.”
“Nah. I’ve been in no-win situations before. This isn’t one of them.” I made myself sound way more confident than I felt, a talent that had gotten me far in the military and that worked here, earning me a cautious smile from Felix.
“I hope you’re right.”
“I usually am.” I puffed up my chest because we both needed a laugh.
“Humbleness is an excellent friend trait.”
“Hey, I know what I’m good at.” Still looming over him, I dropped my head to kiss him softly, and he welcomed me eagerly with a hungry noise that made my own cock pulse with renewed interest.
“Well, you are good at that at least.” He tossed his head back, expression all dreamy.
Damn, I did love when he praised my kissing. “You sure? Maybe I need more practice.”
“Well, on second thought...” He pulled me down to him, and I went happily. I’d won. I got more Felix. Now to make sure he didn’t regret it.
Chapter Twenty
Felix
“There’s somewhere you’d rather be.” Gabrielle regarded me with shrewd eyes over the rim of her wineglass. It was an exceptionally nice pinot noir from the Willamette Valley, assertive cherry notes along with subtle hints of marzipan, lemon, and black tea, and I’d barely touched my glass.
“Nope,” I lied. Maybe if I said it loud enough, I’d start believing it. But Calder was at the cabin with his friends and I was here in Seattle having dinner with my stepmother and the girls at her house. We’d finished the food and the girls had run off to the TV, leaving us to our wine. And pointed questions I’d rather not get into. “Long week. The nanny I thought we hired two weeks ago didn’t work out.”
“Again?” Gabrielle raised a sculpted eyebrow. With her fluffy ash-blond hair and high-maintenance makeup and nails, she looked closer to my age than she actually was. “What decrepit object did Charlotte show them this time?”
“For once, it wasn’t Charlotte.” I glanced at the dining room archway, not wanting either kid to think the ongoing nanny crisis was their fault. “Or ants. Or even my unpredictable work hours. The nanny’s boyfriend got a transfer to San Francisco and she wants to go too.”