“I don’t know how to make it right.”
She shakes her head sadly. “That’s the thing . . . you can’t.”
“What are you saying?” My heart speeds up.
“I’ve thought about it, it’s all I’ve thought about. There’s no way I can ever forgive you. I’ll never get past this.”
I rush to her side and grab her hand. “You don’t mean that, Hads. It takes time, and I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
She pulls her hand free. “You can’t. I’d always wonder if you’re thinking of her when you were with me. I’ve spent my life living in Meli’s shadow, and I won’t do it anymore.”
“I don’t think of her,” I say desperately. “We weren’t together, not like we are. I feel it with you, Hadley. I love you.”
“It’s not love, Grim. If it was, you’d have been honest from the start. Instead, you kept it from me and let me fall for you.”
“We’re having a baby,” I say, placing my hand over her stomach.
Her eyes fill with tears, and she pushes my hand away. “Don’t touch me. It makes my skin crawl.” She takes a deep breath. “I’ve thought about it, and I can’t be around you and Meli right now, so I’m moving out.”
“No!” I snap. “No way! This is your home. I’ll leave.”
“You’re the Vice President, it’s not practical.”
“I don’t think Mav will stop me, Hadley.”
“And Meli? I’m making this easy on us all. My boss said I can stay with her for now.”
“What about the baby?” I ask.
“I haven’t thought about the baby just yet. I’m still getting through this part. I’ll be in touch about that when I’ve got my head straight.”
I knock on Mav’s office door, and he narrows his eyes when he sees it’s me. “What?”
“Hadley wants to leave the clubhouse.”
“Over my fucking dead body. No one’s going anywhere.”
“I have a solution.”
“And why would I listen to anything you’ve got to say?”
“Because it means Hadley can stay here.”
I slowly lower onto the couch, holding my ribs. Mav smirks. “Call Arthur, tell him to speak to Cambridge, and tell him he’s got himself a deal.”
“What?”
“What’s the worst I’ll get, two years? I can do two years.”
“It’s not a good idea,” mutters Mav, shaking his head.
I smile. “I know you’ll miss me, brother, but it’s for the best. You know it is. You can’t kick me out over this and you can’t let Hadley leave, so I’ll go away for a while and let the dust settle. When I get out, things will be different.”
“And what about the club?”
“You know as well as I do, my head’s been fucked for months. All the shit that went down over Meli and Ripper. Rosey coming back. Crow. Mum being a mess. I just need time and so does Hadley.”
“And when you come home?”
“I’ll claim my ol’ lady.”
Mav laughs. “You got nerve. Hadley won’t forgive you for this.”
“Maybe not, but I’m not giving up on her. You told me when you weren’t with Rylee, you felt like you were wading through the dark, right?” He nods. “And that’s exactly how Hadley makes me feel, Mav. I love her. I fucked up not telling her about Meli, but it wasn’t even a thing, and I wasn’t planning on falling for Hads. It just happened, but by then, it was too late. I was scared to lose her. I know what I did was messed up, but it wasn’t intentional. So I’ll go to prison, but she’s always gonna be mine. I’ll never give up.”
Mav smirks. “You got balls, I’ll give you that. What if she meets someone before you get out?”
“You won’t let that happen.”
“Confident too. Brother, I’ll make sure she meets someone worth ten of you.”
I stand and head over to the table where the vodka is, pouring us each a glass. “I let you beat me. Fuck, I’m even pissing blood. But you’re still my President. You’re still my brother, and most of all, you’re still my best mate. We’ve been through too much to give up on each other now.” He takes the drink and we clink glasses. “I’m sorry, Pres. Truly. I didn’t mean to let you down or hurt her. I’ll make up for it.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
HADLEY
I open my bedroom window and take in the fresh, cool breeze. It’s been a week since Grim’s secret floored me. And three days since I left the club and moved in with Amanda, my boss. It’s different here, quiet, but it’s not as bad as I thought. Amanda is never around. She works all the hours she can, and when she isn’t at the office, she’s in her home study working or her gym in the basement. So, basically, I have the run of the place.
My phone buzzes and I roll my eyes when I see Grim’s name. He’s left me alone up until now, respecting my wishes for once. I leave it for the answer message to pick up, but he rings right back, so I answer. “Don’t hang up,” he begs. “Please, can I come and see you?”
“No.”
“It’s really important, Hads. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t. And I literally have about an hour.”
“Until?”
“Meet me. The bar I took you to, the one I love to go to alone.”
I know I shouldn’t go, he doesn’t deserve my time, but I can’t switch off my heart and part of me longs to catch a glimpse of him. Being strong is hard when you’re so alone.
The bar is just as lifeless as the last time I was here. Grim is staring at the door as I enter. He smiles, but I don’t return it. “Make it quick,” I mutter, taking a seat.
He looks nervous. “How have you been?”
“Tired, heartbroken, sick.”
He nods, wincing at my words. “Morning sickness?”
“What do you want?”
“I miss you so much,” he begins, and I stand to leave. This isn’t what I came for. He grabs my hand. “Sorry, don’t go.” I sigh heavily and sit back down. “I’m going away for a while.” I finally meet his eyes. They’re still bruised from Mav’s punches, but he looks deadly serious. “I’d really like it if you’d go back home to the club while I’m away. It’s safer there.”
“Where are you going?”
“It’s not important. I’ll be gone for maybe a year or two. Will you go back home?”
I shrug. The thought of being around Meli is hard. “Tell me where you’re going.”
He grabs my hand, and I stare at it like it’s poison. Truth is, it hurts my heart because I want to hold onto him so tight, but then I remember where his hands have been, and it makes me sick. “I know you’re hurting, and I hate myself for being the reason for that. But I love you, despite what you think. You’re everything to me, and I can’t let you go. So, I’ll go away for a while and give you time to heal. But when I come home, I will prove to you how much you mean to me. I won’t ask you to wait because that’s unfair, but just know, if you meet anyone else, it won’t stop me coming back for you and our baby.”