“The second time, I was drunk again, but I knew what I was doing. I wanted a second chance to remember what I didn’t from the first. That time, I regretted it. It felt wrong. So, I had a small pity party, torn over whether I should walk away from the club and stay the hell away from my President’s little sister or stay and get lured in over and over because I knew I wouldn’t turn her down if she came to me again.
“Then you started appearing. When I felt like shit, there you were to cheer me up. If I’d had a bad day, you came along and sat with me until I felt better. Sitting under that damn tree became my favourite thing to do. Sometimes, I sat there waiting for you, then you wouldn’t show and I’d be pissed. I’d have to go for a ride to stop myself from stalking you and forcing you to sit with me. You made my dark days light again. You’re the first woman to do that.”
I sip my water and push my half-eaten burger away. My heart aches at his confessions, and for the first time in a long time, I want to wrap him in my arms and tell him it will be okay. Somehow, we’ll work it all out. I purposely put myself on his radar. I decided I wanted him, and I put myself under his nose so he’d take notice. Did I give him a choice? If I hadn’t done that, if I’d have just stayed in my lane, maybe we wouldn’t be here now, both suffering.
“You were the first woman to get my attention without getting naked. You intrigued me and woke me up. You challenged me without being confrontational and made me stop and think about my actions. Being around you was like having a life lesson.” He laughs. “You even made shopping fun.”
I nod, grinning. “That was a big day for us both.”
“When we slept together, I didn’t think about Meli or the shit I should bring to your attention. I didn’t think about the consequences of falling in love with you way before we had sex, but once we’d done that too, there was no going back. I was in too deep.
You were the whole package, and there was no way I was gonna risk losing you and throwing myself back into the dark. I guess what I want you to understand is, I once thought I loved Meli, but I didn’t. I was infatuated with the idea of being carefree and happy. I thought having Meli meant I would be like that. Turns out, to feel those things, I needed to actually be happy.
“You make me happy, Hadley. You have no idea how amazing you are and how amazing you make me. I love you. I have loved you from the minute you forced me to take you clothes shopping. I will never understand what I put you through, but I know you can’t just get over it and move on, cos it was huge. I’ve arranged for you to go on the date tomorrow with Harry.” My eyes widen and my heart stutters in my chest. “I couldn’t bring myself to do the whole double date thing, but I’ve booked and paid for a table at Loratz.”
Loratz is exclusive and costs a lot of money. My brain is yelling for me to tell him I don’t want to go there with Harry. But Grim reaches across the table and holds my hands in his.
“Go on the date. Enjoy his company. You’ll know if he’s right cos you’ll enjoy the night and never want it to end, just like I don’t want this one to end. And after, if you find yourself leaning in to kiss him, you’ll know I’m well and truly in your past and you’ve moved on.”
“I’ve never kissed him,” I say. “I just wanted you to think that.”
He smiles, winking. “I know when you’re lying, Hads. And I knew you hadn’t slept with the jackass judge.” I smile. “But you need to make sure, cos if you come home and tell me you’re finished with him, I’ll be making you mine forever. I’m not giving you another chance to get away from me.”
Grim stands, holding out his hand. I take it, and he leads me to the stairs. We walk around the library together. He lets me look at the hundreds of dusty books, but all I can think about is his words and how I wish he’d push me up against these books and kiss the life out of me. I don’t want to date Harry, I already know that, but I know he’s going to make me go on the date regardless so I can reassure him I’m his.
We’re late back to the club tonight, and Mum has already put Oakley to bed. Grim leads me out to the oak tree for the second night running so he can read the book to me. “I chose her name because of the tree,” I say quietly.
He kisses me on my temple. “I know.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
HADLEY
Smoothing the dress, I stare at myself in the mirror. Why does it feel like I’m doing something wrong? The bedroom door opens and Grim steps inside with Oakley in his arms. He stops dead, and a look of regret passes over his face. “You okay?” I ask.
He nods, looking anything but okay. “Doesn’t Mummy look amazing?” he whispers to Oakley, who babbles in response.
“Are you sure you’re okay looking after her?” I repeat, making conversation to stop the awkwardness. He nods again. “Look, I can cancel this—”
“No. You need to do this. I’m fine. Have a good night. We’ll talk tomorrow.” He disappears into the bathroom to run Oakley’s bath.
I take a breath to steady my nerves before going inside the restaurant. It’s breathtaking inside, all sparkles and chandeliers. I spot Harry at a table, and he waves me over. He stands to pull out my chair, and I’m reminded of Grim doing the same thing last night.
“I must say, I’ve never been asked on a date by a woman’s ex before,” he says, smiling. “I was most surprised.”
“Me too,” I mutter.
“So, what is this? A trial? A way of your ex telling you he’s moving on?”
I shake my head. “A final decision.”
“Well, if he’s paying, we may as well make the most of it.”
The waiter comes over to take our order, and Harry asks for champagne. “I can recommend the chicken salad,” he tells me, so I smile at the waiter and order that. Harry then orders duck, and I suddenly feel insulted that he pushed me to have salad.
While we wait for food, he tells me about his day, but I find my mind going to Grim and Oakley, wondering if they’re sleeping now or if he’s telling her another story.
Our food comes, and I pick at the salad while Harry tells me about his holiday recommendations. He asks me if I’ve ever been to the South of France, and I want to laugh as I shake my head. A moment of clarity hits me—how would Harry ever fit into the club? He wouldn’t. I couldn’t invite him for dinner without one of the guys interrupting or a play fight breaking out in the main room. He’d hate the way Ghost pulls my hair and kisses me every time he passes me, or the way the men steal my daughter for cuddles. In Harry’s world, it’s clean and clear. We’d be a family in a lovely house who holiday in France. My world is less glamorous. It’s loud and chaotic, crazy and full of drama, but I love it. It’s all I’ve ever known.
“This was a bad idea,” I tell him, pushing my arms into my jacket.
He looks surprised. “It was?”
“I’m so sorry, Harry. You’re a really nice guy,” albeit a little self-obsessed, but still . . . “but you’re not for me. Have dessert. I can make my own way back.” I rush from the restaurant before he can protest and flag down a cab.