“Oh, so you do remember that night,” Sasha said.
I met her gaze. “Not all of it, but a lot of it. He was very kind to me when he had no reason to be.” My hand went to my lips.
“Did he kiss you?” Nikki asked. “You didn’t tell me that.”
The memory of his lips moving gently over mine came back with a vividness that warmed my cheeks more. “It wasn’t worth mentioning.”
Nikki and Sasha exchanged a look. Sasha said, “The man said he wanted to hear from you.” She waved her phone. “We all know where he is. All I’m suggesting is that you send him a DM.”
Thankfully the food arrived and temporarily took the attention off me. I was chewing on a bite of egg when Nikki said, “I agree with Sasha.”
I hurried to swallow before saying, “Hold on. You never agree with Sasha.”
“That’s not true,” Nikki said with a smile. “We both think it’s not healthy for you to turn away every man who asks you out while waiting for a text from a man who may never contact you.”
“Every man?” I countered. “Three men have asked me out since I’ve been in Florida. Only three.”
“That’s two more than have asked me out,” Nikki said.
“You don’t even like men,” I protested.
“Exactly, I have a reason to turn them down. You don’t. Not unless you admit that you want to be with your dancer, and if that’s the case you need to do something about it or that will likely not happen either.”
“First, he’s not a dancer. He is helping his family by dancing; that’s not the same thing. Second, some people come into your life for a season, some for a reason. Maybe all he was meant to be was a catalyst for me to break free of my grandparents. I love them, but I needed this.”
“Give me your phone,” Sasha said.
“No.” The problem with old friends is they knew you almost better than you knew yourself.
Nikki’s eyebrows rose. “She’s hiding something all right.”
“I’m not.”
“Prove it,” they said in unison.
Cornered and guilty, I had no recourse but to confess. “Okay, so maybe I’ve been documenting my journey and saving photos Kal might want to see in a folder with his name on it.”
“And?” Sasha pressed.
I groaned. “I may also have a spreadsheet of his tour schedule—but that’s so I know he’s okay. He hasn’t canceled a show yet.”
Nikki frowned. “Why are you so afraid to message him? What’s the worst thing that could happen?”
I sat back and asked myself the same question. “I was drunk when we met. I have this beautiful memory of an incredible man who cared enough about me to make sure I made it home safely. What if he’s nothing like how I remember him?”
Nikki nodded. “What if he’s like Robert, is what you’re worried about?”
I made a face. “I thought Robert was a good man. I mean, I almost married him.”
Sasha placed her hand on my arm. “I get it. Sometimes my husband leaves the toilet seat up and when I forget to check at night, I’ve had some unpleasant bidet-like experiences.”
Nikki turned to look at her. “I don’t think that’s what a bidet is like at all.”
Sasha continued, “The point is, I can’t live my life worried that every toilet will disappoint me.”
“No, you could just teach your husband to put the seat down,” Nikki said.
Sasha waved both hands near her head. “Jade knows what I’m saying.”
I moved my head back and forth. “I think I do. I can’t worry that every man will be like Robert.” I winked at Nikki. “Or I really need to learn more about bidets.”
Nikki laughed.
Sasha let out a dramatic sigh but smiled. “Wait until you’re pregnant and discover the importance of a quickly available toilet and then you’ll understand how spot-on the analogy was.”
“No. No, I don’t think we will.” I met Nikki’s gaze. We both shook our heads and laughed again.
“Whatever,” Sasha gave her stomach another rub. “Don’t listen to them. Nikki doesn’t like to admit when I’m right and, this time, Jade is afraid to.”
I took out my phone and spun it on the table beside my plate. “It’s been months. What would I even say?”
Sasha’s eyes were full of encouragement. “Less is more. Send him one of your photos with a quick note that you’re thinking about him. Sometimes all a man needs to know is that you’re still interested.”
“That’s it?” It sounded too easy.
Nikki pressed her lips together then said, “I hate to say it, but I agree with Sasha again. You may never know how he feels about you or if he even got your gift if you don’t reach out to him. You may find out he is as wonderful as you remember, or you may learn that you built up a fantasy version of him that no man can live up to. Either way, I don’t think it’s healthy to compare every man to one you’re not even sure exists.”
“I don’t—” I stopped myself there because it wasn’t worth lying to them or myself. That was exactly what I’d been doing. Sure, Kal was gorgeous and deliciously built up. Divers in general, though, were pretty fit. My attraction to him had been on a much deeper level.
Beneath his anger and his stage persona, there was someone who wanted more than the life he felt trapped in. From the little he’d told me about his family I understood he was bound by something stronger than what he had told me—his family needed him. My grandparents didn’t rely on me financially. They’d sheltered me and worried for me, but all I’d risked when I walked away from that was their anger. And, honestly, they were already adjusting to the fact that I wanted to be more independent.
I didn’t know what was at stake with his family, but I wanted to. Sasha and Nikki were right, I needed to send him a photo and a message. I considered all of his social media platforms, looked at a couple, found an email address for him and decided to use that. If he was anything like me, messages could sit for months on some of the platforms, but I checked my email daily.
On my phone, under the watchful eye of my two best friends I wrote: This is me setting up lights on Juno Beach to help save hatchling sea turtles. Wish you were here. I attached a photo from the day I’d volunteered for the conservancy. My hair was flying wild in the wind, I was carrying lighting equipment, and there were several others in the photo with me. We were all smiling.
I hit send before I had a chance to change my mind. “I did it.”
Sasha gave my shoulder a pat. “If he’s interested, you’ll hear from him now.”
I held the phone to my chest and let out a long breath. “If he’s interested . . .” Even though I’d checked my text messages daily since I’d sent him the book, it probably would have been a bad idea to get involved with anyone back when my entire life had been in a tailspin. I was settled now and ready to see if what I thought I’d felt for him was real.
I reread the email I’d sent him. Would he answer it?
I’d survive if he didn’t, but the not knowing—that was the hardest part.