It wasn’t a question, but it felt like one. If I’ll let him. Imagining a life without Cal in it is damn near impossible, but when I try to picture our future together now, all I see is darkness. I look down, watching the beads of water spill down my legs, to my feet, then slowly disappearing.
“Ever since I was a kid, I could look ahead and picture everything I wanted. Before my mom died, I imagined a dad. When she was gone, and I met you, I saw us as best friends in high school together. Going off to college and going to parties. I could even picture my wedding day. One night I was lying in bed after we had just finished an entire blueberry pie in the attic, and I saw us.” My eyes skate up his body, finding him staring back at me. “We were holding hands and even though it was a daydream, I felt butterflies in my stomach. A few days later, I left and you stayed behind and I couldn't see you anymore. You weren’t at school, or the parties, and we never held hands again.”
“What are you saying, Bella? You don’t want a future with me?”
“Let me finish. That’s not what I’m saying at all. It wasn’t until the dance in the ballroom, the night you took my virginity on that piano, that I was able to see you in my future again.” A smile spreads across my face. “It was perfect. I imagined us living at Cori Cove and going to see my family for the holidays. I pictured kids and tubing behind a boat on the bay. I saw it all.”
“And now?”
“Now I see a life on the run. Hiding out and looking over my shoulder because you have so much money and power that someone out there is always going to try and take it, the same way you took it from your adopted dad. I see our kids living in fear. Never seeing my parents because it's not safe to go home. I see loneliness. And that’s exactly what I don’t want in a marriage.”
Cal shakes his head, disagreeing with me. I’m not surprised he doesn’t see what I see. He’s lived in the darkness since he was adopted as a teenager.
“You’re wrong.” He laughs. “You are so wrong. You wanna know what I see?”
I nod in response.
“I see breakfast in the courtyard. Dinners on the yacht. Flower gardens and sandboxes. Midnight swims when the kids are asleep. Smiles, laughter, and memories. Most importantly, love. I see all the things we wanted as kids that we never got. I don’t see a second of my future without you in it. You think too much, Bella. For once, stop planning and just live.”
I bite back a smile, my heart feeling all warm and fuzzy. “You really see all that?”
“I really see all that. Now kiss me and tell me you forgive me before all the hot water runs out.”
I’m not sure forgiveness was ever a question. It was more about moving on from it all. Maybe Cal is right. It’s time to stop trying to plan my entire life out. “Okay. I forgive you under one condition.”
“A condition, huh?” He pulls me so close that I’m forced to tip my head back to look at him.
“And what’s that?”
“Once this is all done. We go back to Cori Cove and finish the renovations.”
“Actually. I was thinking about keeping that one for ourselves.”
“No hotel?”
“Do we really want guests in our home twenty-four seven?”
I actually like the idea of running a hotel together. “How about we keep this conversation open for discussion.”
His lips press softly to mine. “Deal.”
Cal’s attention is pulled away, lips leaving mine when his phone begins ringing from the sink vanity. Tugging me closer, his words whisper across my lips, “It can wait.”
“It could be about Mark. You should get it.”
Cal growls into my neck, resting his chin on my shoulder. “What about makeup sex?”
“Oh, that will happen. After you take the call.” I push his shoulders back, forcing him off my body. The phone stops ringing but a voice message pings. “Please.”
He kisses me once more, before opening the shower curtain. “Fine. But I’ll be back. Wait for me.”
Once he’s out, I finish washing up. He must be listening to the voice message. “Who was it?”
Seconds later, the shower curtain parts, and he pops his head in. Wide eyes and water dripping down his forehead. He sweeps his tongue across his lips, catching a drop.
“You might wanna get out of the shower.”
“No,” I drag. “Please, Cal. Tell me he’s not…” I can’t say the words. I tear the curtain open and get out, immediately grabbing a towel from the hook and wrapping it around me. “What happened?”
“They found Mark. He’s gonna be all right.”
I blow out a heavy breath of relief. “Thank God. But what—”
“It’s Trent.” There’s concern on his face that is surprising. He hates Trent as much as I do. Even if Cal doesn’t know how much I’ve grown to hate him over the past week.
"He’s dead, baby.”
“Dead?” That's all I can say. I’m not sure how I feel. Trent was awful to me and I hoped I’d never see him again, but I’m not heartless. I didn’t want him or anyone else to die. It’s still a life and he has a family who loves him.
“Hey,” Cal wraps his arms around my body, pulling me in for a hug, “you okay?”
“How?”
“From what my liaison said, it was Byron. Apparently, he went nuts and shot up an entire room of people.”
I pull back and look at him. “But Mark got away?”
“Barely. But, yeah. Anders and a few others were able to make it in time and get him. We had an insider distracting Byron, and when he found out, he lost it.”
I begin drying myself off quickly. “I need to see him. I have to go to my parents and tell them what happened.”
“I can’t let you do that, baby.”
“Can’t or won’t?” I toss the towel on the floor at my feet, my hand lingering on the door handle.
“Both. I swore I’d never let anything bad happen to you again and I meant it. It’s too risky to leave this place right now. It’ll all be over soon, though, I promise.”
“Will it, though? Will it ever really be over?” I tear open the door and go straight to the bedroom. My bag sits open on the floor and I shuffle through it and grab some clothes.
“What are you doing?” Cal asks, standing in the doorway with just the towel around his waist.
I clasp my bra behind my back and pull a black sweatshirt over my head. “I have to go, Cal.”
Cal slams the door closed and closes the space between us. The towel dropped somewhere in between. “Dammit. Don’t do this.”
“Please don’t try to stop me. I have to go to them. Mark is hurt and it’s all my fault. All of this is my fault. Trent’s dead and his parents are likely mourning their loss as we speak. Everything that happened is all my fault.” Somewhere between shouts and cries, I fall apart in Cal’s arms. Sobbing hysterically into the nape of his neck.
It is all my fault. If I’d never taken that stupid job offer then none of this would have happened. None of it. Not even us.
"It’s not your fault, Bella. It’s mine.”
I don’t say anything. I don’t agree, and I don’t disagree because, deep down, part of me knows that to be true. Cal started all this. He dragged me into his world, and in the process, it turned upside down. Now I have to decide if it’s all worth it.