“I’ve been called a failure by many people in my life, including my own father, yet none of them seemed to have made it hurt quite like you just did. I trusted you.”
My stomach rolls as I am unable to escape the sick feeling plaguing me.
“I’m sorr—”
She cuts me off. “The last thing I want to hear right now is how sorry you are. I can’t believe I came here thinking you needed my help, only to end up being blamed for all of this. What a joke. The only two people to blame here are you and your father. Him for being an absolute dick and you for following in his footsteps, lashing out at me instead of taking personal responsibility.”
I take a step forward, only for her to take a big step backward.
My hand drops back to my side. “Don’t go.”
She shakes her head as she takes another step away from me.
“We’re supposed to be a team.”
“I don’t want to be on your team. Not anymore.”
A punch to the face might have hurt less than the way she looks at me like I’m below her.
“I’ll be better.”
“Funny. That’s what my father always told my mom too, right before he hurt her all over again.”
Her final blow lands exactly like it was meant to. I try to take a few deep breaths as I think of something to say, but I struggle to come up with anything worthy.
She takes advantage of my stunned state and retreats to a hidden exit out of the park without sparing me another glance. I’m torn between chasing after her and going back to the group. Leaving Iris alone after knowing how upset she is seems unconscionable, yet I can’t exactly leave the Yakuras in my father’s hands. Not after how hard Iris and I have worked to make this happen.
You can deal with Iris later once all of this is done.
It seems like the best idea, yet I struggle to make my way back to everyone. Each step away from Iris feels like I’m trudging through quicksand.
You did not spend two years of your life working on this deal to lose it now. Pull yourself together.
I return to the group, ignoring the weight pressing against my chest with each step away from Iris. For the sake of my future, I need to shelve my emotions and push through. It seems simple in theory until Mrs. Yakura asks where Iris is.
“She wasn’t feeling very well.”
My father’s eyes gleam, and I can’t stomach looking at him without feeling an urge to shove him away from me.
“Oh no. Does she need help getting back to your hotel?” Mr. Yakura offers.
I shake my head. “She didn’t want us to stop our tour for her.”
“Are you sure? We could—”
I cut him off. “I’m sure.”
“Hopefully she feels better.” Mrs. Yakura smiles.
If the look on Iris’s face is a small inkling of the pain she feels, I doubt she will for a long time.
I made sure of that.
41
IRIS
Did I expect Declan to attack me like he did after I went out of my way to drop everything and help him when he asked? No, but damn did the surprise hurt almost as much as the things he said about me.
Your job description says you’re supposed to alleviate problems, not cause them.
My throat closes up. How dare he talk about me and my job description like that. I can’t believe I spent three years of my life fixing his problems whenever they arose, only for him to cut me down to nothing the moment I messed up.
If you even did mess up.
Regardless if I did, Declan should have never spoken to me like that. He used my insecurities against me until I was left standing before him, feeling just as broken as ever before. I’ve been on the receiving end of his verbal lashings before but never like this. This one felt personal in a way I never want to experience again.
You can only get angry at yourself. You’re the one who let him in to begin with.
What was it that Declan used to always tell me?
Oh, right.
Learn to use your words as weapons because they can be stronger than any fist.
I feel like a fool for giving him the perfect ammunition to use against me. A tear slips free, and I swipe it away with the sleeve of my shirt.
Instead of wallowing in self-pity during the bus ride back to the hotel, I call the pilot and ask him to prepare the private jet for takeoff. I might be a failure, but I’m still a Kane, so Declan can fly commercial for all I care if he wants to get back to Chicago within the next day. I’m not staying in Dreamland for another hour after the way he spoke to me. The park feels too small for both of us right now, and I’d rather get the hell out of here. At least that way I can wrap my mind around everything he said without anyone trying to sabotage me, talk down to me, or make me cry. Knowing my husband, he might do all three if I stick around.
Running is what I’m good at. Staying and dealing with problems that hurt like a bitch on the other hand? Hard freaking pass.
Screw him and screw his stupid deal. I deserve more than him hurting me to save his own face, especially after all the sacrifices I made for him.
The bus drops us off at the hotel. I don’t know how long I have until Declan gets back to the room, so my panic forces me into action mode. If I’m lucky, Mr. Yakura will keep Declan and his father discussing contracts for hours. Maybe even days.
Except the thought doesn’t make me happy like I would expect. Rather, it drives me to a fresh round of tears as I consider Declan choosing to secure the deal over coming after me. After everything he said, one would think he would want to fix things right away if they really mattered to him.
I’m so screwed up in the head about everything that I can’t even tell whether it’s selfish or not to wish for something like that.
I shake my sadness off and get to packing. The whole suitcase looks close to bulging but somehow my belongings stay put.
I throw my hotel key on the nightstand, write a quick note, and leave the room without looking back. Turns out my worries about Declan coming back to get me were misplaced since he never bothered to show up. Instead of feeling relieved, I’m hit with another wave of despair.
Of course he didn’t show up. Declan’s priorities will always align with the company no matter the cost. He has been trained since a young age to work like that, and I was willing to be second best because his love is worth it.
Was. His love was worth it. Not anymore though. I could live without feeling like he took my heart and shattered it into a million pieces.
You’re nothing but a distraction that I don’t have time for right now.
He did apologize right after.
Yeah, so did my father after saying the ugliest things to my mom. I learned from her mistakes and don’t plan on falling into the same trap.
You need to get out of here.
I hope Declan gets the deal. Not because I’m petty or mad, but because I want it to be worth everything he lost to get it—the option of earning my love included.
The concierge desk calls me a cab to take me to the private airport. By the time I get there, the cabin door is open and the plane is ready for takeoff. I get out of the cab and stare at the plane. I’m hit with an ounce of doubt, wondering if I should turn around and go back to the hotel.
Are you really going to leave him? What if he needs you?