His voice from earlier comes back with a vengeance.
Every team has a leader, and it’s not you.
I shake my head, clearing any lingering doubts.
You’re not going back. Not after he spoke to you like that.
I roll my shoulders back, climb up the stairs to the jet, and take the seat across the aisle from our usual spot. The staff on the plane is limited to a single flight attendant who offers me drinks and snacks. My stomach churns at the idea of eating anything at the moment, so I decline.
Somehow, I hold myself together during the entirety of the flight. Harrison picks me up at the airport, and he is kind enough not to ask me where Declan is. I’m not sure I could handle his question without crying. The way he looks at me makes me wonder if he knows something happened, but he stays quiet as he helps me with my luggage. He drops me off at Cal’s place before taking off.
Up until this point, I’ve been numb and strictly on survival mode. Sure, I shed a couple of tears, but I didn’t truly allow myself to consider everything Declan said until I knock on Cal’s door.
He opens the door. “Hey. What are you doing back here so soon?”
Tears leak from my eyes before I have a chance to blink them away.
“Oh shit.” He pulls me into his place and shuts the door.
His arms wrap around me, holding me up so my legs don’t give out. My tears turn into full-body sobs. He listens to me while I recount everything that happened today, with him only interrupting to ask a couple of questions.
He doesn’t speak until I stop. “He’s an idiot for telling you all that crap. The only thing that was shitty about today was his attitude.”
I pull away and wince at the tear-stained spot on his shirt. “He said I failed.”
“He failed you the moment he lost control like that. No one should talk to you like that, least of all him.”
I sniffle. “He was so mad at me.”
“I don’t give a fuck how he felt. It doesn’t make any of it okay.”
My head hangs. “I made a mistake.”
Cal grabs my hand and drags me toward the couch. He disappears before returning with a tissue box, some headache medicine, and a glass of water.
“Thank you.” I look up at him with a wobbly smile.
His frown deepens as he assesses my face. “It’s the least I can do seeing as I’m the one that encouraged him to chase after you.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I knew he didn’t deserve you.”
I wince, remembering the moment Declan said the same thing. “I—”
“Don’t make excuses for him. The things he said are unacceptable, especially after everything you shared with him.”
I take a deep breath. “Do you mind if I stay here tonight?”
“Guest room is all yours for as long as you want it.”
I sigh. “I can’t hide out here forever.”
“You can do whatever you want. Declan isn’t your keeper.”
“I know but I need to be mature about this.”
“Oh, like he’s one to talk about maturity right now.”
“We’re married. One fight isn’t going to change that.”
He lets out a deep exhale. “No, but it might change the way you approach your marriage.”
“I know.” I twist my hands on my lap.
He drops onto the couch next to me. “Everything is going to be okay.”
“Is it? Because it sure as hell doesn’t feel okay. He didn’t even come after me after everything he said. He just let me walk away like I didn’t mean anything to him, all because a deal is more important than me.” A loan tear slides down my face before landing on my lap.
“He fucked up. There’s no easy way to put it.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“You don’t need to do anything. He’s the one who messed up, not the other way around. I know you’re used to always picking up after his messes, but sometimes you can’t fix everything for him.”
My throat bobs. “What if he doesn’t fix it?”
“Then he was never worthy of you in the first place.”
42
DECLAN
My father and I continue to compete for Mr. Yakura’s attention. Rather than go with Iris’s advice, I choose to fight back harder, proving I’m the best candidate to bring Dreamland Tokyo to life. My father meets my every stride. He makes promises I’m not even sure he can uphold, although he appears mighty confident in the manner. I can tell it’s getting messy. Mr. and Mrs. Yakura try to keep their smiles wide and their eyes bright, but I can only imagine how exhausting all this is.
Iris warned me to end it, but I didn’t listen.
No. I trampled all over her instead because I was too pissed to think clearly. After working so damn hard to earn her trust, I threw it away at the first sign of adversity. There is no one to blame but me. Not my anger. Not my father. And definitely not Iris, although I’m sure I made her feel that way.
A dark cloud of emotion follows me through the rest of our walkthrough. I can’t shake the feeling that I made a huge mistake by continuing on with the rest of my day despite Iris’s advice. The more time that passes, the less I’m sure my choice to stay was the right one. My doubt has nothing to do with my father stealing Mr. Yakura’s time, but more so to do with the idea of me hurting Iris and letting her walk away. The urge is stronger than ever to leave them all behind so I can go find Iris.
I can’t stop thinking of the things I told her when I was angry. It was one thing to call her a distraction, but it’s a completely different issue to doubt her ability to do her job. I know she is capable of everything and more, yet I tore her down like she was worth nothing. I’m not proud of the way I told her how the plan she made was shitty. But nothing feels worse than telling her she failed. I chose my words out of anger without truly thinking of the impact they could have.
It’s not until we make our way back to the entrance of the park that Mr. Yakura pulls me aside. My father’s eyes track us even as we step out of earshot.
“Declan. Is everything okay?” He looks up at me with a big smile as bright as his ridiculous neon shirt.
“I’m fine.”
“I couldn’t help noticing how you’ve been much quieter since Iris left. While I appreciate you spending the day with us, we would rather you be with your wife if she isn’t feeling well.”
If you even have a wife to go back to.
“She wanted me to see this through.” At least I think so.
His smile falters. “I expected as much. She was rather persuasive on the phone when she was setting up this entire trip for us. I almost felt bad for inviting your father along, knowing the two of you aren’t on the best of terms.”
Wait, what? “Repeat that.”
“I was the one who invited your father to join us here. Why else did you think he would show up?”
“When did you do that?”
Mr. Yakura tilts his head. “The same day Iris called to schedule everything with my assistant. I wanted to make sure everyone could make it here for the announcement. It’s a shame Iris won’t be here though. I know how hard she worked on putting all this together and I hate the idea of leaving here without telling her that this decision had nothing to do with her.”