I take a deep breath and knock against his door. The light above me turns on before the door swings open, revealing Zahra on the other side. She looks bright and cheery as always—like she gets her energy straight from the sun. I don’t know how my brother can stand it.
“Have you seen Iris?” I don’t bother with pleasantries.
“Umm, shouldn’t she be with you?”
I turn around and walk down the steps, not wanting to waste any more time.
“Hey! Wait!” Zahra chases after me.
I speed up.
“Stop!”
I don’t.
The sound of flip-flops smacking against the ground makes me grind my teeth together. I ignore Zahra calling after me, only to be stopped by my brother on his way back from his run.
He pops an earbud out as he scowls at me. “What are you doing here?”
Zahra stops beside me, trying to catch her breath. “Has anyone told you that you have very long legs?”
“Why are you chasing after my brother?”
“Because I wanted to talk to him, but he didn’t want to be caught.”
Rowan raises a brow at me. “Care to explain why you are running away from my girlfriend?”
I take a deep breath. “I don’t have time to chat. I’ve wasted enough of it as it is.”
“Then make time.”
“I’m trying to find Iris.”
“Good luck with that.”
I take a step forward. “Do you know where she is?”
“I’ll tell you if you do what Zahra asks and give her a few minutes of your time. It’s the least you can do after acting like such a dick to me earlier, don’t you think?”
My jaw clenches. “Fine. Speak.” I look down at Zahra.
“Can we go inside first? I need a glass of water.”
My short fuse burns down to nothing as I follow them back into the home I spent most of my youth vacationing at. The memories slam into me as I take in Mom’s porch swing, still hanging in the same spot years later.
“It’s my favorite place in the whole house.” Zahra shoots me a small smile.
Of course it is.
I ignore her as I walk through the front door. The place hasn’t changed besides a fresh paint job and more modern furniture. There’s still a doorframe by the kitchen that has our height marks over the years, with me being the tallest.
“It’s pretty weird coming back here after so long, huh?” Rowan leans against the kitchen counter, observing me as I take it all in.
“How do you stand living here?”
“It reminds me of some good times.”
“That makes one of us.”
The corners of his lips lift in a silent reply.
“Would you like anything to drink?” Zahra pops her head into the fridge.
“Water is good.”
She pours me a glass before making one for herself.
“So, would anyone like to tell me why I’m being held emotionally hostage here?”
Rowan looks over at Zahra and she only grins. “I lied when I said I had something to tell you. I was only hoping to stall you for as long as it took until Rowan got back so you both could talk this out, once and for all.”
Rowan shakes his head as he looks up at the ceiling. “You’re a pain in my ass.”
“I know, but you love me for it.” She kisses his cheek before disappearing up the stairs.
“She’s smart.”
“She’s a meddler is what she is. She hates when we fight, especially when it’s over my choice to stay here.”
“You told her about earlier?”
“I tell her everything.”
I take a sip of my water. “Interesting.” Safe to say Zahra probably thinks I’m the biggest asshole around.
He grabs a glass and fills it to the top with water. “How did the walkthrough go?”
“Why are you asking?”
“Because I care.”
“Even after I lashed out at you?”
He sighs. “Love isn’t conditional. I know Father made us believe that, but just because I get angry at you and vice versa doesn’t mean I don’t love you or care about you. Even if you do act like an idiot most of the time.”
“Who knew Dreamland would turn you into such a sappy fuck?”
“Dreamland and the people in it.” He smiles in a genuine way that reaches his eyes, and I can’t remember the last time I have ever seen him look this happy. Maybe never.
No one can control falling in love, and he happened to find it in the last place I expected. It’s time I accepted it and moved on for both our sakes. I’ve been punishing him for seeking out what makes him feel fulfilled, all because I felt like he betrayed me. I held on to the idea of him abandoning me like everyone else to manage my father and all the expectations that come with the company. Rather than support him, I held his happiness against him just like my father did countlessly throughout our lives.
You’re no better than him.
It is a sour feeling to realize the man I have spent my whole life resenting is the one I am slowly becoming.
It’s not too late to start making better decisions.
My mouth feels dry no matter how much water I drink. “I’ve made some mistakes.”
Rowan blinks but stays quiet.
“I’ve said things I’m not proud of. Made threats, talked down to you, pushed you away because you made a decision I didn’t like. As your big brother, I’m supposed to set the example. Be the bigger person. Make the best choices. Stay strong no matter how much I’m being beaten down. Except all I’ve done is show you what not to do. Instead of letting you become your own person, I was trying to shove you back into a mold you didn’t fit into anymore. It was selfish of me, and I’m sorry.”
“Wow.” He blinks.
There isn’t much else I need to say. From now on, I plan on being better. The end.
I stand. “I better get going.”
Rowan grabs a set of keys from a bowl on the counter. “Let me drive you to the airport.”
“Airport?”
He chuckles. “Iris took the jet back to Chicago earlier.”
“She what?”
“Looks like you’re flying commercial tonight. You better buy a ticket before you lose the chance.”
I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Iris is in Chicago right now.
Why would she stay? You never gave her a good reason to after the way you spoke to her.
I swallow back the lump in my throat. “I fucked up.”
“It’s nothing some good groveling can’t fix.”
“Groveling?”
“Get in the car and I’ll explain.” His grin is worrisome.
Well, shit. This is going to be an interesting car ride.
Does groveling include mentioning to Iris how I rode a commercial flight for the first time in a decade solely so I could get to her sooner? Because if so, then the middle economy seat I was subjected to buying at the last minute was worth every excruciating minute, seeing as I was stuck between a toddler who wouldn’t stop talking and a mother holding a crying infant.
My ears are still ringing by the time I make it back to our house. Harrison opens my door, and I get out. I don’t think to ask him about Iris until I walk into a silent, dark house.