“Now?” I let out an awkward laugh, desperately trying to change the direction of the conversation.
He squeezes his dick while his eyes narrow into slits. “Since I can’t be there to do it for you, I’m going to need you to do it yourself, sweet girl.”
Panic quickens in my chest. I need time to process everything I’ve been feeling over the past week, because while being back at Camp Bexley has been a painful reminder of what I’d lost, it’s also a haunting reminder of everything I’d once had.
But no matter how conflicted I may feel now, none of that is Dexter’s fault. He’s been good to me in ways that healed me when I needed it most. I walked into Urgency with a naive outlook on everything, zero experience in the corporate world, and a heart so battered and bruised I couldn’t even think to regard Dexter as anything more than an asshole of a boss who I needed to please.
If anything, Dexter saved me. And that’s why I prop my phone on the desk against the windowsill and slip my shirt off over my head. That’s why I unclasp my bra and let it slide off my body to accompany my shirt. And that’s why, at Dexter’s command, I slip off my skirt and slide my fingers into my panties to find my clit.
“Fuck yes, baby girl. My cock is so hungry for that tight pussy. Rub it for me. Think of me deep inside you.” Dexter’s completely naked now, stroking his erection faster while directing me to touch my breasts.
My core aches at my desperate need for a release. It’s been too long, and now I’m too worked up to quit. I plant a hand at the edge of the desk and spread my legs wider so that I can slip two fingers inside.
My lids fall shut, and a moan slips past my throat when I feel the first signs of an orgasm building deep inside me. Dexter’s labored breathing and grunts are a helpful soundtrack, setting the mood as I fight off images of a man who doesn’t belong to me. But the way Anderson looked when I found him at the stables burns brightly in my mind—with the late-afternoon sun casting a golden glow on his tan and toned body, and his white shirt stretched over his biceps and chest like he’d be better off removing them completely.
“Ah!” My orgasm hits me hard and fast, thoughts of Anderson propelling me over the edge before I can redirect them and focus on Dexter.
My lids open to find Dexter at the tail end of his release, a sticky mess cloaking his cock as he watches me convulse, completely clueless to the fact that I’ve been thinking of another man.
Guilt wraps its ugly fist around my chest and squeezes hard, causing me to gasp and look away from my phone screen. When I do, my curtains blow, wide enough to draw my eyes to a figure on the other side of the window, standing in the middle of the trail in front of my cabin—a man who just watched me bring myself to orgasm—completely clueless that he’s the one to thank.
Chapter Eleven
ANDERSON
My heart is still racing when I close the door to my house and press my back against it. My dick throbs from all the excitement, and I don’t think twice about yanking my pants down and pumping myself in desperation for a release.
I must be dreaming. There’s no possible way I just watched Hope strip down naked and pleasure herself to climax. She couldn’t possibly have been the one in that window, with her amazing full breasts heaving, her tits pointed straight at me, her abs tightening with each expelled breath, and her finger greedily pushing into her center until…
“Gah,” I practically yell at the orgasm that comes charging through me and spilling onto the floor in several spurts. After years of abstaining from sex, I’ve practiced the art of self-pleasure often enough to build up my tolerance. It takes time and the right mindset to get me to the right place to release, but after seeing Hope like that—bare, beautiful, and vulnerable—it doesn’t surprise me that it took me no time at all.
My shower does little to wash away the guilt I feel for lurking outside her window, but what the hell was I supposed to do once I saw her there? It could have all been my imagination. I’m still unsure that it wasn’t. Luck has never been on my side when it comes to women, so then why tonight? Why Hope?
I towel dry off and change into jeans and a T-shirt. I need a drink. Maybe several. Maybe then I’ll be able to cope with the fact that I’m a voyeur, because while I may feel guilty for watching Hope without her permission, I’ve never been so turned on in my life.
The second I open the door, I’m blasted with shock at the sight of a visitor on my doorstep. Another vision, but this time fully clothed in a pair of black leggings and a long yellow shirt that hugs her curves. She looks freshly showered herself and stares back at me with innocent eyes.
“You watched me.”
There’s no use denying it. “I did.”
“That wasn’t for you.”
“I’m well aware.” I raise my brows because I’m not an idiot. I could see her phone propped there in the windowsill. Her boyfriend is one lucky bastard. Jealousy makes like a wrecking ball to my insides.
She opens her mouth to speak again, but nothing comes out. For once, Hope is stunned into silence.
“I’m headed to the saloon for a drink. Want to join?”
She blinks in surprise then turns to look over her shoulder like she’s trying to formulate an excuse as to why she shouldn’t. A spark ignites in my chest, and instinct follows.
Instead of waiting for an answer, I take a step closer to her, crossing the threshold, and then shut the door behind me. “Let’s go.”
I’m done taking her hesitation for an answer. We’ve come this far, through distance and time and all the heartbreak in between. We’ve made some strides today, and I confessed my biggest, darkest secret. It’s time she meets me halfway.
“Anderson,” she says, jogging behind me to catch up. “We should talk about what happened.”
I frown. “What for? It’s done. It happened. What good can talking do?”
She reaches my side, and her face drops. “You can apologize for spying on me. You were never meant to see that.” Under the tall lamp, I can see her cheeks darkening in color.
“I wasn’t spying,” I say. “I was walking by and happened to see you, but I am sorry for lingering that long without your permission. In my defense, I couldn’t take my eyes off you. Seeing you like that was a beautiful fucking sight. I had no idea you could be so—”
I look at her to find her eyes opened wide. “So what?”
“So unbridled. It was sexy as hell.”
She lets out a frustrated breath. “How can you ever look at me again after that?”
My chest squeezes. “The same way I’ve always looked at you. Like you’re the only woman in the world. My opinion of you will never change.”
Her head shakes as another heavy breath leaves her body. “Why couldn’t you have been this sweet to me when I lived here? I never knew what you thought of me or what you wanted from me.”
I shrug and aim my focus forward, leading us to the bar. “Because I knew you’d leave one day. You were young and still figuring out what you wanted to do with your life. You were bound to leave, whether I pushed you away or not. Everyone leaves.”