It’s a selfish debate between right and wrong. Dexter and I may not have an official term or status for what we are, but until last night I would have never considered being with anyone but him. And he wants more. He challenged me to take these two weeks away to decide—a decision I still don’t feel ready to make, especially after what happened between Anderson and me last night.
I like Dexter. I really do. I like how he’s challenged me from the start. How he pursued me, giving me no room to question how he felt. I needed that after how things ended with Anderson. To know a man is completely and unabashedly crazy for me is one of the sexiest things I’ve ever experienced. It became my addiction—to feel wanted and desired in a way that was almost primal. It’s exactly what Anderson showed me last night.
Except… Anderson is my past.
I’ve moved on. Physically and emotionally. My life is so different now than when I pined away for him every day for three years. The old me would have never thought twice about falling right back into the Anderson well I’d lived in before. Not anymore. Like I told him last night—he had his chance.
I kick my sheets away, feeling more defiant and prouder of myself than ever. Confidence bursts through me as I shower and get ready for a new day. My focus is on what I came here to do. Prove to Dexter and everyone else at Urgency that I am ready for that promotion. I’ve worked hard for it, and this is only the beginning of what I’m capable of. Distractions be gone.
Red. That’s the color I choose to wear today. It signals power and strength. With long, loose sleeves, a draped bodice, and a mock neck, this dress screams class. Which is exactly what I plan to exemplify today. I add a pair of gold, strappy heels, a matching bracelet, and complete the look with makeup and curled hair.
If Anderson dares to see me today, he’ll know exactly what he’s getting. Business only.
I charge down the trail, ignoring the uneven surfaces and pebbles as they dig into the pads of my feet. Like always, the coffee is ready, so I grab a fresh cup and a green apple before heading to Anderson’s office. I’m surprised to find the light already on and Anderson sitting in the chair across from his desk, head down and buried in his hands.
The sight of him is a needle straight into my balloon of confidence. My chest squeezes, and I’m instantly aware of the heavy emotion billowing in the space around us.
“Good morning.” I try to give him my best greeting, one filled with professionalism and a straightforwardness that I don’t truly feel.
His head snaps up, revealing swollen eyes, an unkempt beard, and disheveled hair. The tug on my heart is instant. He immediately scrolls my attire, disappointment filling his already-dire features, until he reaches my eyes. “Well, that answers that.”
I frown, confused. “What answers what?”
He shakes his head and looks away. “You either remember nothing or you’re completely unaffected. Last night was—”
“A mistake.” I’m quick to jump in, my heart already racing.
His head snaps back to me, and he glares. “Bullshit, Hope. Last night was the furthest thing from a mistake, and you know it.”
“We were drunk. We got caught up in the moment. I shouldn’t have led you on like that. I’m sorry.”
He buries his head in his hands, going quiet for far too long. I stand in front of him, to where his knees lightly touch mine, and lean back against the desk. “Anderson, please look at me. I didn’t mean to hurt you. You just…” I struggle to find the words. “You just want what you can’t have.”
He chuckles dryly as his head lifts, eyes meeting mine. “So you’ve said. But I’ve always wanted you. It wasn’t until you came back here that I finally figured out that it was never my place to tell you to leave. I never wanted you to go. The morning you left, I watched you leave, knowing I would never be the same. It gutted me. All I could do was pray that you would come back. And then you did.”
“Yeah,” I burst out, sick and tired of his feelings of guilt. “I came back for a job—after a year of moving on. So tell me why you think it’s okay to drag me right back into your world of hurt. I loved you, Anderson. I loved you so damn much that I couldn’t even begin to see that you would never return my feelings until you stomped all over them like they never mattered. I was stupid and naive, and I refuse to be that woman again. Leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me because it helped me get over you.”
The next few seconds are filled with silence, save for the sound of my heavy breathing. I can’t believe I said that, but he needed to hear it.
He shakes his head, gaze darkening. “You don’t mean that.” His rough, calloused hand finds the back of my leg. “You didn’t get over me.”
My breath hitches in surprise. I’ve never seen Anderson like this. So commanding, almost aggressive.
“Stop lying to yourself,” he continues, his gruff tone like friction to every sensitive nerve ending. “Last night was all the proof I needed to know that this thing between us is more alive than ever.” His hand climbs, higher and higher until it’s right below my ass. “The sooner you stop fooling yourself, the better off we’ll all be.”
Rage bursts through me, like a levy in desperate need of breaking. I press my palms into the desk for leverage then push a heel against his chest, pinning him to his chair. “No.” My breaths come heavily. “You don’t get to make the rules anymore, Bexley. I’ve worked too hard for what I have now.”
“Like what? A fancy car, a nice apartment, all wrapped up in a fancy city?”
I lift my chin. “Yes. Also a man who doesn’t make me question my worth, and…”
When I fail to continue with my list of everythings, a spark lights his eyes.
“Keep your dream job,” he says, his eyes locking on mine. “Keep your city, keep your car. If those things are part of your dream, then keep them. But be with me.” His anger subsides, revealing his desperation. His head tilts, and he scoots toward me, pushing my knee in toward my chest. “If anyone can make sure you see your worth, it’s me. Please. I need you.”
His words are like a vise on my heart, squeezing it in his grip with a strength that’s more than I can take. I’m so focused on his darkened expression, that I almost don’t notice his hand slide up my leg that’s still anchored to the floor. He scoots closer, as if testing my boundaries, causing the heel planted on his chest to slide over his shoulder until he’s right there at the opening of my dress. He bites down on his lip, his gaze slipping to where the fabric of my panties stretches at my center.
I gasp as shock buzzes through me, trapping me beneath his gaze in a web that I walked straight into. I’m speechless, clueless how to react. How is this happening? How are we right back where we left off last night? I was so determined when I walked into this office, and it took almost nothing for me to feel consumed by a man who isn’t mine.
“Saying goodbye to you was the death of me,” he rasps.
His eyes are back on mine, but his hand continues to move up my leg, squeezing my thigh, closing in on my hot center.
“But you came back,” he continues. “And you brought me back to life at a time I needed it most. If you think I’m giving up on you now then you’re wrong. I get a second chance to show you exactly what you mean to me—and just how far I’ll go to keep you.”